advice for deceased toddler with a positive THC level

[nightsky78]

Missouri

Hello,

I am really needing advice, as no one will help me or my fiancee. Here is the story.
My fiancee's and his ex had a son together. She left him and took the baby with her, and hid the baby away. The father made multiple attempts to call her, but she still would make up excuses, and tell him he wasnt allowed to see the baby.
Anyhow to the point, she left when the baby was about 4-5 months old. In July of 2010, my fiancee got a phone call, not from her or her family, but from his dad, stating that he got news from an outside friend of the family that his son had passed away 2 days prior and they had already had the funeral! Not only did his ex or her family not notify my fiancee about his son passing away or any of his family but wasnt even told about the funeral.

Ok, we called the Medical Examiners office and requested a copy of the autopsy report. Here is the findings:

The mother stated the toddler almost 2, was up running around playing and happy the day and night before but had fell down and got bruises.

In the autopsy,

It was stated there was brain swelling, there was bruising and abrasions and hematomas under his scalp and face, and they stated one of his corneas in his eye was discolored, which really makes me wonder why. I don't feel that a simple fall would cause brain swelling and a discolored cornea in the eye, what came to mind was shaken baby syndrome but thats my opinion and what it make me wonder.


It was stated that he had pneumonia in both lungs.
It was stated the toddler had tested positive for THC.
the official cause of death was pneumothroax or collapsed lung.

Here are my concerns and issues, and opinions. Me and my fiancee are wondering why she has not been brought up on abuse, or neglect or endangerment charges because everywhere I read, I am finding parents being arrested and charged with child endangerment, and neglect, and abuse.

My fiancee called the police dept. and they stated they was not going to make any arrests, and said there was not enough evidence????!!!!!

Here is my thoughts

I have read studies proving that THC exposure is correlated with pneumothorax, or collapsed, lung which, is what his cause of death was. I also read that in order for a child to have THC like that in thier system that usually there was a large amount in small closed in areas for the toddler to have been inhaling the substance.

In all the sick toddlers I have seen with pneumonia, they was very sick, running high fevers, coughing, congested, and had a hard time breathing, so I have my doubts that her stating he was up running around playing and she didnt know he was sick is not true. I honestly believe that the baby would still be here if the mother would have taken him to the ER for urgent treatment. I believe that she did not because she was afriad if they ran blood test and found out the baby had large amounts of THC in his system they would have charged her right there and taken the baby in custody.

What do we do if the police department wont do their job?

They even said there was no report wrote on this??

We spoke with the medical examier, but do we start there, and ask them to get involved and call the police dept with the findings, or for them to call dfs even if he is deceased to do an investigation?

I feel something needs to be done, like I said how is THC in a babys system that died NOT ENOUGH evidence to charge a parent and arrest them when THC is illegal! I doubt they even tested her and they should have.

Do we contact an attorney if so what type? Do we contact dfs, the medical examiner? Do we ask the Medical examier to contact the police dept? How do we get them to do an investigation and press charges. We need advice on the right channels since the police dept was rude to us and would not help us and stated they will not press charges and just because a child passed away with THC in thier body does not mean or prove anything and that we are not a medical doctor, so imo by that statement like that from the pd that we wasnt a medical doctor, that makes me think that I need to go back to the medical examiner and have them contact the police dept? If they refuse then what do I do, or if the police wont listen. Please help this is driving us crazy.

He passed away in June of 2010 and we have been just running in circles with the police dept and they have been very rude and not helpful in any way to us.

Please give us advice if we need an attorney to intervene or if they can even help, and or the steps we need to get law enforcement to do a proper investigation, and get the medical examiner to state his opinion to help in the case.

you can email me at [email protected] also if you have any advice or know anyone that would help. thanks

 

[Proserpina]

Missouri

Hello,

I am really needing advice, as no one will help me or my fiancee. Here is the story.
My fiancee's and his ex had a son together. She left him and took the baby with her, and hid the baby away. The father made multiple attempts to call her, but she still would make up excuses, and tell him he wasnt allowed to see the baby.
Anyhow to the point, she left when the baby was about 4-5 months old. In July of 2010, my fiancee got a phone call, not from her or her family, but from his dad, stating that he got news from an outside friend of the family that his son had passed away 2 days prior and they had already had the funeral! Not only did his ex or her family not notify my fiancee about his son passing away or any of his family but wasnt even told about the funeral.

Ok, we called the Medical Examiners office and requested a copy of the autopsy report. Here is the findings:

The mother stated the toddler almost 2, was up running around playing and happy the day and night before but had fell down and got bruises.

In the autopsy,

It was stated there was brain swelling, there was bruising and abrasions and hematomas under his scalp and face, and they stated one of his corneas in his eye was discolored, which really makes me wonder why. I don't feel that a simple fall would cause brain swelling and a discolored cornea in the eye, what came to mind was shaken baby syndrome but thats my opinion and what it make me wonder.


It was stated that he had pneumonia in both lungs.
It was stated the toddler had tested positive for THC.
the official cause of death was pneumothroax or collapsed lung.

Here are my concerns and issues, and opinions. Me and my fiancee are wondering why she has not been brought up on abuse, or neglect or endangerment charges because everywhere I read, I am finding parents being arrested and charged with child endangerment, and neglect, and abuse.

My fiancee called the police dept. and they stated they was not going to make any arrests, and said there was not enough evidence????!!!!!

Here is my thoughts

I have read studies proving that THC exposure is correlated with pneumothorax, or collapsed, lung which, is what his cause of death was. I also read that in order for a child to have THC like that in thier system that usually there was a large amount in small closed in areas for the toddler to have been inhaling the substance.

In all the sick toddlers I have seen with pneumonia, they was very sick, running high fevers, coughing, congested, and had a hard time breathing, so I have my doubts that her stating he was up running around playing and she didnt know he was sick is not true. I honestly believe that the baby would still be here if the mother would have taken him to the ER for urgent treatment. I believe that she did not because she was afriad if they ran blood test and found out the baby had large amounts of THC in his system they would have charged her right there and taken the baby in custody.

What do we do if the police department wont do their job?

They even said there was no report wrote on this??

We spoke with the medical examier, but do we start there, and ask them to get involved and call the police dept with the findings, or for them to call dfs even if he is deceased to do an investigation?

I feel something needs to be done, like I said how is THC in a babys system that died NOT ENOUGH evidence to charge a parent and arrest them when THC is illegal! I doubt they even tested her and they should have.

Do we contact an attorney if so what type? Do we contact dfs, the medical examiner? Do we ask the Medical examier to contact the police dept? How do we get them to do an investigation and press charges. We need advice on the right channels since the police dept was rude to us and would not help us and stated they will not press charges and just because a child passed away with THC in thier body does not mean or prove anything and that we are not a medical doctor, so imo by that statement like that from the pd that we wasnt a medical doctor, that makes me think that I need to go back to the medical examiner and have them contact the police dept? If they refuse then what do I do, or if the police wont listen. Please help this is driving us crazy.

He passed away in June of 2010 and we have been just running in circles with the police dept and they have been very rude and not helpful in any way to us.

Please give us advice if we need an attorney to intervene or if they can even help, and or the steps we need to get law enforcement to do a proper investigation, and get the medical examiner to state his opinion to help in the case.

you can email me at [email protected] also if you have any advice or know anyone that would help. thanks

And how did the ME describe the MANNER of death?

 

[nightsky78]

And how did the ME describe the MANNER of death?

Well in the report, on the first page it posted all the findings, like I listed above.
It stated cause of death as Pneumothorax.

On the other pages, it just stated where bruises, cuts, abrasions was, how much he weighed, his organs, ect. It stated that his cornea was discolored that they had kept part of his eye for further study not sure what that meant.

 

[Proserpina]

Well in the report, on the first page it posted all the findings, like I listed above.
It stated cause of death as Pneumothorax.

On the other pages, it just stated where bruises, cuts, abrasions was, how much he weighed, his organs, ect. It stated that his cornea was discolored that they had kept part of his eye for further study not sure what that meant.

No, that's the cause of death.

There would also be a manner of death - usually one of four categories: Natural, accidental, homicide, suicide. There is a 5th, but I'm curious as to how you'll answer.

 

[nightsky78]

No, that's the cause of death.

There would also be a manner of death - usually one of four categories: Natural, accidental, homicide, suicide. There is a 5th, but I'm curious as to how you'll answer.

Honestly,

we did not find or see that listed on the report???

It may of been too early since we got a copy of the report about 1-2 months later? Would it have been posted later on

 

[I'mTheFather]

You sure have put a lot of effort into finding out what happened to the child.

It's too bad your boyfriend didn't put this much effort into pursuing visitation with his son. Things might have turned out differently.

 

[nightsky78]

Honestly,

we did not find or see that listed on the report???

It may of been too early since we got a copy of the report about 1-2 months later? Would it have been posted later on

Sorry I meant would they have done an updated report about 8 weeks later? I apologize we are new to this and don't know much about what to look for, but the report we recieved abt a month or 2 later, I dont recall seeing anything listed about the manner of death.

 

[Proserpina]

Honestly,

we did not find or see that listed on the report???

It may of been too early since we got a copy of the report about 1-2 months later? Would it have been posted later on

That's one of the important big boxes which appear on the death certificate; it WILL be filled out with something.

Please, I'm trying to help - there's a reason why I'm asking this question.

 

[nightsky78]

You sure have put a lot of effort into finding out what happened to the child.

It's too bad your boyfriend didn't put this much effort into pursuing visitation with his son. Things might have turned out differently.

Yes I have, and he did try. She lied and tried getting restraining orders against him to keep him away from his son but they was thrown out of court, then she moved away, he tried and tried to find them, then she tried telling a judge that it wasnt his son, just to thow them off, but he tried going through dfs, child support and contacted law enforcement, We was told they could do nothing except get a dna, to debunk her claims, then get an attorney and fight for custody we was told that was our only options and we didnt have a $5000 retainer fee.

 

[nightsky78]

That's one of the important big boxes which appear on the death certificate; it WILL be filled out with something.

Please, I'm trying to help - there's a reason why I'm asking this question.

We did not get the death certificate, we only got a copy of the ME report on the findings as we thought that was all we needed. I forgot about the box being marked on the death certificate. I guess we need to get that asap.

 

[justalayman]

I have a question that might make a huge difference here:


is your fiance the legal father of the child?. That is, if they were not married at the time of the child's birth, was there an AOP (or whatever the germane state calls an affidavit of paternity) or an adjudication of paternity through the courts?

Granted, the reports should not have been given to a non-relative but that has happened before so it is nothing to hang your hat on.

 

[ecmst12]

I'm sorry for your boyfriend's loss.

There is nothing you can do. This is really not your concern.

There is nothing HE can do either. The police investigated and there was not enough evidence to make an arrest. That's all there is to it. You are coming into this way after the fact and you have already decided in your head what happened, based on pure conjecture and the (natural) desire to blame someone for this tragedy. But there is no evidence that what you THINK actually happened.

The sad truth is that pneumonia can kill a child that small VERY quickly - yes, in fact before mom realized how sick he was and had time to bring him to the hospital.

THC exposure did not kill the child or have anything to do with his death.

Your boyfriend should seek therapy to deal with his feelings about this matter. He failed to get up off his butt and do what he needed to do to be a part of his child's life. Perhaps if he'd found the money for the lawyer, or gotten himself to the law library to learn how to represent himself, this might not have happened. I'm sure he is beating himself up quite a lot over this; even though his guilt is quite understandable, it's still not productive and he is going to have to figure out how to forgive himself before he can move on with his life.

 

[nightsky78]

I have a question that might make a huge difference here:


is your fiance the legal father of the child?. That is, if they were not married at the time of the child's birth, was there an AOP (or whatever the germane state calls an affidavit of paternity) or an adjudication of paternity through the courts?

Granted, the reports should not have been given to a non-relative but that has happened before so it is nothing to hang your hat on.

yes he is the legal father, and no the was not married.

 

[ecmst12]

If he was the legal father, he would not have needed a court ordered DNA test.

All that is pretty moot now though.

 

[nightsky78]

Thank you.

We was together when his son was still alive, we both contacted judges, officers, child support ect, asked people for the physical address where she is, we was told we would be got for harassement when he was only trying to see his son. I was in this with him, and I seen what he dealth with, but I kindly disagree with you that it is somewhat my concern, especially when I to this day get emails at her rubbing it in that she kept his child away and thinks its funny we couldnt find her and threats ect.

The point is the police done no investigation, and its illegal to posess drugs, and the child had thc in his system. Im not bashing pot smokers, if they want to smoke so be it, but it would be nice if they had the audacity to not do it or bring it around children. The fact is that there are tons of infants and toddlers testing positive for THC even small amounts and the Parents are being charged. That is my biggest issue here. There is evidence of THC, brain swelling, eye discoloration, hematomas ect. I stated some of those was my opinion I never stated them to be factual, or never said that they could prove what I thought. But the blood test and findings is proof of illegal substance that was possesed and smoked around the child. The brusing, brain swelling ect is evidence that something happend. I never said THC exposure killed him, I did state that there is evidence that supports it has caused infants lungs to collapse. In this case yes I wondered, but no matter what, any kind of smoke around a toddler with pneumonia in both lungs sure isnt going to help with the breathing problem or pneumonia itself.

I simply wanted to know if anyone could advise anything that could possibly be done. If it was anyone else out there and their child tested positive for THC or any other drug the parent would have been charged and the child would have been placed in state custody period.

He does live with it and beat himself up every day, but he did do what he could, he tried and tried and begged for help, asked people for advice, and all we got was the run around pretty much.

But thank you for your advice.

I'm sorry for your boyfriend's loss

There is nothing you can do. This is really not your concern.

There is nothing HE can do either. The police investigated and there was not enough evidence to make an arrest. That's all there is to it. You are coming into this way after the fact and you have already decided in your head what happened, based on pure conjecture and the (natural) desire to blame someone for this tragedy. But there is no evidence that what you THINK actually happened.

The sad truth is that pneumonia can kill a child that small VERY quickly - yes, in fact before mom realized how sick he was and had time to bring him to the hospital.

THC exposure did not kill the child or have anything to do with his death.

Your boyfriend should seek therapy to deal with his feelings about this matter. He failed to get up off his butt and do what he needed to do to be a part of his child's life. Perhaps if he'd found the money for the lawyer, or gotten himself to the law library to learn how to represent himself, this might not have happened. I'm sure he is beating himself up quite a lot over this; even though his guilt is quite understandable, it's still not productive and he is going to have to figure out how to forgive himself before he can move on with his life.