What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia
Three years ago my parents moved into assisted living. They didn't want to sell their house in Arlington. They asked me if I wanted the house, and I was ecstatic. My parents told me they were going to leave the house to me and my son. My father told me that he wasn't sure how to do it without it costing me a tremendous amount of money due to inheritance tax or gift tax. I asked him if he would add our names to the deed so I would not end up with the house in probate and have a difficult problem to contend with.
My son and I have been living there for three years. My father pays the property tax, but I pay for everything else. My name has been added to my father's name on the water, electric, and gas bills, and I pay these. My father took his phone number with him, I have a new number, my account, and I pay for it. I do not pay rent, I have been told that the house is mine. My son and I have assumed upkeep of the house and yard. When my parents moved, they took most of thier furniture. There is only a bit of furniture and other insignificant stuff left.
When they moved, my brother raided the house of things he wanted. I have no intention of arguing about who gets what, except for the house. When my son and I moved in, my mother gave her keys to her caregiver and had her come into my house without notice. She also gave her keys to my brother so that he could do the same. It may be their 'house,' but it's my 'home.' I hated the intrusion of my privacy. I changed the locks on the door and didn't say anything about it. I had made arrangements to take my parents' mail to them to keep them from coming over. Also, t heir caregiver kept picking up all the mail and taking it back without separating theirs from mine (my father refused to do a change of address). I had to go to their home to retrieve my mail. More than a year went by before my mother realized that the locks had been changed.
When my parents found out about the locks they went ballistic. They have used the house as a weapon against us. If we don't do this, that, or the other thing they are going to evict us. My father will get angry about something and start screaming that it's his house, not mine. I told him it may be his house, but it's my home and I'm protecting my privacy. My mother died this past June. My father is permanently in a wheelchair and can do nothing for himself. He will never be able to live in this house again. My father promised me repeatedly that when I moved in he would have a bathroom built in the basement for my son, who uses the basement as his living quarters. Now that we are there my father says he will never put a bathroom in and that I may not do it. He has also told me that I may not paint the the inside of the house. My mother painted all the walls gray and I don't care for it. He's a control freak about the house and everything in it.
I'm tired of the threats to evict me and the constraints about living there. I want something that I can leave to my son so that I know he's taken care of when I die. The house would be the greatest gift I could give him. He also loves the house.
Would squatters' rights apply to me in this situation? We've lived here for over three years and we've been the sole caretakers of the house and everything in it. What kind of damage can my father do by changing his will adversely regarding us?
I feel that I have earned the house. What I've done for my parents was not done because I was working to 'earn' the house, but because I was trying to care for my parents when they were in terrible condition.
I've been helping my parents for years. When large trees were struck by lightning and fell in the backyard of the house and covered their cars, I went over and chain sawed them to pieces, and took care of it. When my parents had their car crash, they were in a nursing home for a couple of months. I saw them every morning and night and spent every weekend with them. I took care of their chores, the house, made doctor's appointments for my mother, I arranged for and paid for medical transport to get her to a variety of doctors. I paid their bills. I took a lot of time off from work to take care of them, which was not popular with my boss. When they told me they were going insane at the nursing home and begged me to help them get out, I went to their house all by myself and moved everything out of the living room and moved all their bedroom stuff from upstairs down to the living room and added telephones, made sure there was room for wheelchairs, had all my mother's diabetic supplies reachable, and I cooked meals that could be nuked so they wouldn't have to cook. I rented wheelchairs. I arranged for medical transport and had them moved back into their own home. I went over every day to bathe them in the kitchen, wash and curl my mother's hair, do laundry, etc. They made a decision to move to assisted living. I did not have anything to do with that decision or the place they chose.
This past April my mother had a heart attack and a few days later she fell and broke her femur, which required emergency surgery. Her recovery was not good and there were complications. She died in the hospital on June 3. I have been sleeping on the couch in their place since April 18 taking care of them.
Right after my mother died my father was hospitalized for a week. I was afraid he was going to die and I wasn't prepared to lose both parents in one month.
My father has had an ulcerated wound on his ankle for over three years. He has been going to a wound center regularly or over two years. The doctors all told him the wound would never heal and the doctor in the hospital was talking about amputating his foot. I took it upon myself to do what I thought was common sense about his ankle. His ankle is now healed. The last time he went to the wound center, he and his caregivers told me that all the doctors came in to look at his ankle that they said would never heal and they were all amazed. My father has also had problems with his lower eyelashes growing back into his eyeballs, which was very painful and he almost never opened his eyes. I got an ophthalmologist who said he could take care of him without a hospital stay. He underwent surgery and he's recovered.
I know that it's extremely uncomfortable for my father to sit in his wheelchair all day. I found a lazy boy chair with a power lift, and it reclines. Normally $1800.00, I got it for $538.00. He loves the chair, he doesn't go to bed anymore, he sleeps in it. I also got him a toilet seat lifter, which I got for half price. My father says it's one of the best things he's ever had. I also got him a shower chair which has arms and a bar that goes across the front so that he can hold on and not fall out.
I left him and moved back home on Sunday, August 3. He picked a fight and said all kinds of horrible things and yelled about the house and me changing the locks. He said I was sleazy. I was angry, but most of all I was hurt. After everything I've done for him. His couch is not comfortable to sleep on, I've missed my son and all my pets, my dog is on valium for separation anxiety, my boyfriend and I have had no time together, my work has suffered. I have never complained to him, and I have never said anything about all the things I have done for him and I didn't remind him on Sunday. I'm not a saint, but I'm a decent human being.
While my mother was in rehab after surgery, I often sat with her all night long to take care of her. The rehab is located in the same place where they reside. The rehab experience was abominable. At that time I wrote a letter that I intended to give to the CEO of the place. My boyfriend gave my letter to a trial lawyer to see if my father had a case for getting his money back so that he could move. The lawyer said yes, but that what he really had a case for and should do was sue for wrongful death. Nobody asked me to write that letter. I did it on my own out of frustration to try to get wrongs righted so that my parents wouldn't continue to suffer.
I have been setting things up for my father so that I am no longer needed. His caregivers know how to take care of him, and they can create a schedule among the three of them so that he's never alone.
Is there anything I can do to protect my son and myself and keep the house without major problems? I don't think I should have to prove to anyone that I'm a worthy daughter. I'm not selfish, I'm not trying to do my father out of something. I promised my mother I would take care of him. I feel that I've fulfilled that promise to the best of my abilities and beyond. I don't think I should have to fight for the house, and I don't want to, but I feel like my back's up against the wall and I don't know what else to do. I feel like I need to defend what I have been given and earned and cared for. Thank you very much for any help you can give me.
Three years ago my parents moved into assisted living. They didn't want to sell their house in Arlington. They asked me if I wanted the house, and I was ecstatic. My parents told me they were going to leave the house to me and my son. My father told me that he wasn't sure how to do it without it costing me a tremendous amount of money due to inheritance tax or gift tax. I asked him if he would add our names to the deed so I would not end up with the house in probate and have a difficult problem to contend with.
My son and I have been living there for three years. My father pays the property tax, but I pay for everything else. My name has been added to my father's name on the water, electric, and gas bills, and I pay these. My father took his phone number with him, I have a new number, my account, and I pay for it. I do not pay rent, I have been told that the house is mine. My son and I have assumed upkeep of the house and yard. When my parents moved, they took most of thier furniture. There is only a bit of furniture and other insignificant stuff left.
When they moved, my brother raided the house of things he wanted. I have no intention of arguing about who gets what, except for the house. When my son and I moved in, my mother gave her keys to her caregiver and had her come into my house without notice. She also gave her keys to my brother so that he could do the same. It may be their 'house,' but it's my 'home.' I hated the intrusion of my privacy. I changed the locks on the door and didn't say anything about it. I had made arrangements to take my parents' mail to them to keep them from coming over. Also, t heir caregiver kept picking up all the mail and taking it back without separating theirs from mine (my father refused to do a change of address). I had to go to their home to retrieve my mail. More than a year went by before my mother realized that the locks had been changed.
When my parents found out about the locks they went ballistic. They have used the house as a weapon against us. If we don't do this, that, or the other thing they are going to evict us. My father will get angry about something and start screaming that it's his house, not mine. I told him it may be his house, but it's my home and I'm protecting my privacy. My mother died this past June. My father is permanently in a wheelchair and can do nothing for himself. He will never be able to live in this house again. My father promised me repeatedly that when I moved in he would have a bathroom built in the basement for my son, who uses the basement as his living quarters. Now that we are there my father says he will never put a bathroom in and that I may not do it. He has also told me that I may not paint the the inside of the house. My mother painted all the walls gray and I don't care for it. He's a control freak about the house and everything in it.
I'm tired of the threats to evict me and the constraints about living there. I want something that I can leave to my son so that I know he's taken care of when I die. The house would be the greatest gift I could give him. He also loves the house.
Would squatters' rights apply to me in this situation? We've lived here for over three years and we've been the sole caretakers of the house and everything in it. What kind of damage can my father do by changing his will adversely regarding us?
I feel that I have earned the house. What I've done for my parents was not done because I was working to 'earn' the house, but because I was trying to care for my parents when they were in terrible condition.
I've been helping my parents for years. When large trees were struck by lightning and fell in the backyard of the house and covered their cars, I went over and chain sawed them to pieces, and took care of it. When my parents had their car crash, they were in a nursing home for a couple of months. I saw them every morning and night and spent every weekend with them. I took care of their chores, the house, made doctor's appointments for my mother, I arranged for and paid for medical transport to get her to a variety of doctors. I paid their bills. I took a lot of time off from work to take care of them, which was not popular with my boss. When they told me they were going insane at the nursing home and begged me to help them get out, I went to their house all by myself and moved everything out of the living room and moved all their bedroom stuff from upstairs down to the living room and added telephones, made sure there was room for wheelchairs, had all my mother's diabetic supplies reachable, and I cooked meals that could be nuked so they wouldn't have to cook. I rented wheelchairs. I arranged for medical transport and had them moved back into their own home. I went over every day to bathe them in the kitchen, wash and curl my mother's hair, do laundry, etc. They made a decision to move to assisted living. I did not have anything to do with that decision or the place they chose.
This past April my mother had a heart attack and a few days later she fell and broke her femur, which required emergency surgery. Her recovery was not good and there were complications. She died in the hospital on June 3. I have been sleeping on the couch in their place since April 18 taking care of them.
Right after my mother died my father was hospitalized for a week. I was afraid he was going to die and I wasn't prepared to lose both parents in one month.
My father has had an ulcerated wound on his ankle for over three years. He has been going to a wound center regularly or over two years. The doctors all told him the wound would never heal and the doctor in the hospital was talking about amputating his foot. I took it upon myself to do what I thought was common sense about his ankle. His ankle is now healed. The last time he went to the wound center, he and his caregivers told me that all the doctors came in to look at his ankle that they said would never heal and they were all amazed. My father has also had problems with his lower eyelashes growing back into his eyeballs, which was very painful and he almost never opened his eyes. I got an ophthalmologist who said he could take care of him without a hospital stay. He underwent surgery and he's recovered.
I know that it's extremely uncomfortable for my father to sit in his wheelchair all day. I found a lazy boy chair with a power lift, and it reclines. Normally $1800.00, I got it for $538.00. He loves the chair, he doesn't go to bed anymore, he sleeps in it. I also got him a toilet seat lifter, which I got for half price. My father says it's one of the best things he's ever had. I also got him a shower chair which has arms and a bar that goes across the front so that he can hold on and not fall out.
I left him and moved back home on Sunday, August 3. He picked a fight and said all kinds of horrible things and yelled about the house and me changing the locks. He said I was sleazy. I was angry, but most of all I was hurt. After everything I've done for him. His couch is not comfortable to sleep on, I've missed my son and all my pets, my dog is on valium for separation anxiety, my boyfriend and I have had no time together, my work has suffered. I have never complained to him, and I have never said anything about all the things I have done for him and I didn't remind him on Sunday. I'm not a saint, but I'm a decent human being.
While my mother was in rehab after surgery, I often sat with her all night long to take care of her. The rehab is located in the same place where they reside. The rehab experience was abominable. At that time I wrote a letter that I intended to give to the CEO of the place. My boyfriend gave my letter to a trial lawyer to see if my father had a case for getting his money back so that he could move. The lawyer said yes, but that what he really had a case for and should do was sue for wrongful death. Nobody asked me to write that letter. I did it on my own out of frustration to try to get wrongs righted so that my parents wouldn't continue to suffer.
I have been setting things up for my father so that I am no longer needed. His caregivers know how to take care of him, and they can create a schedule among the three of them so that he's never alone.
Is there anything I can do to protect my son and myself and keep the house without major problems? I don't think I should have to prove to anyone that I'm a worthy daughter. I'm not selfish, I'm not trying to do my father out of something. I promised my mother I would take care of him. I feel that I've fulfilled that promise to the best of my abilities and beyond. I don't think I should have to fight for the house, and I don't want to, but I feel like my back's up against the wall and I don't know what else to do. I feel like I need to defend what I have been given and earned and cared for. Thank you very much for any help you can give me.
