How old does your son need to be to be an adult?
Isn't the age of majority in CA 18 as well? This probably sounds really harsh, but your son needs to get off his butt and figure it out himself! And you need to stop wiping it for him!
I am 27 now and got my first DWI at 19. I am a nice, sweet suburban girl raised by two hardworking non-alcoholic parents (they are still married after 29 years) in a upper-middle-class suburb of Minneapolis, MN. I was so nice to the officer that he did a book-and-release (I didn't even get fingerprinted or have to spend the night in jail- how nice). All I had to do was find a sober driver over 18 to pick me up. I called Mom and Dad.
After me crying for ten minutes and begging them to pick me up (they refused), they asked to speak to the officer. He was silent for a whole minute and then he put the phone down. He said to go ahead and use the phone to call an attorney or another ride (VERY nice of him), when I finally reached my boss and asked her to pick me up, he told me that my father only said, "We are not picking Andrea up tonight. It will do her good to have you throw her in jail for the night. Good night, sir." And hung up the phone.
I (now) readily admit I walked all over my parents and watched my siblings do the same thing I did- of course not to the extent I did, but still- and continue to do it now. Your son (let me guess: a fine young man, pretty bright, an athlete, was a cub scout, maybe made eagle, attends church semi-regularly (maybe) or at least is the kind of kid you look at and think, "Wow I was lucky! My son only borrowed the family car without permission once, or had a party while we were out of town or only had one day of detention in his whole school career, he could have turned out much worse (like being in a gang or a drug dealer or a raging alcoholic)!") is a fine young man and you need him to figure that one out.
Throwing an egg at night is the act of a very immature and irresponsible schoolboy (I know it wasn't your son that threw it, but encourage him to look at his friends... birds of a feather, etc. etc.). That little punk ought to be GLAD it hit a cop car- even an egg can cause a great deal of damage:
MY car was hit by an egg several years ago. Egg, when not removed immediately, will eat away the finish of a car (not really a problem for that car, as it was a POS A-B car). Also, you don't have any idea of what you're dealing with when you hurl an object at someone doing 50 miles an hour (especially if you're the stationary idiot). When my car was hit, I was not the driver, my boyfriend was. He was a 6'3" 260# steroid-popping, iron-pumping jerk who took a little boy's prank as a personal affront. The egg hit the hood of the car right between the wipers and sprayed egg over the whole windshield. I couldn't see, don't know if he could either, but he slammed on the brakes and whipped a U-turn on a divided highway and sped off the wrong direction on the road back to the last intersection and hit the guardrail to stop the car- while jumping out. I was trying to disentangle myself from the seatbelt when I saw him grab the back of a boy's shirt. The kid must have been about 12. My boyfriend hit that kid so hard I felt it 20 feet away. By the time I pulled him off that kid, the little boy had at least two black eyes and a broken nose. My boyfriend was a) lucky I was there to pull him off and b) really lucky the kid's parents didn't want to press charges as we were both adults.
My point was: that boy never thought about possible consequences- sure, he would know that he egged a car, maybe even thought someone would tell or the driver would somehow find out he did it and tell his parents- then what? Grounded from the TV? No video games? Just little stuff.
Instead, that little boy got pounded within an inch of his life (later telling me that was his first and only fight) and carrys a slightly out of line nose as a reminder of the things we don't think about before we do something really stupid.
Ask your son, what if that car wasn't a cop but a drunk, steroid or speed freak? And what if he had a gun or a knife or at least a serious disregard for another human's life? And what if he was a sicko that wanted to get even with him and his friends? I assure you that people like my ex-boyfriend do not care how long it takes them to get even, and they don't want a settled score- they have to one-up!
So I guess this is just a you-don't-want-to-end-up-like warning for all of you: I turned out to be a 23-year-old chronic drunk driver with a drug problem. My parents (those nice, sweet middle-class enablers) had their vehicle impounded, various fines to pay, to answer drunken phone calls and apologize for lots of crap I've done. Thank goodness for the grace of God (found Him thanks to my parents sticking with the "tough love" thing and making me be responsible for my own actions)!
You may want to try this before your son finds his way into a situation you cannot talk or buy him out of- don't allow his mouth to write a check his butt can't cash! Make him take responsibility for this situation and quit downplaying his part! Yeah, he was "just a passenger", along for the ride and the egg didn't come out of his hand last, but were you ever a teenager? Ask your husband what it was like when he was 18 or 19- if he was in a car and one stupid man had a really stupid idea, did his equally stupid friends egg him on? "Yeah, man, pee on the electric fence! Let's see what happens!" Or did they say, "Wow, you could electricute yourself. Maybe you shouldn't do that." As far as I'm concerned, your son is just as guilty as the boy that threw the egg and all of them are lucky that it hit a cop. Maybe they should count their blessings: they didn't kill anybody, they didn't get killed themselves and the judge might give them a $50 fine and a hundred hours of community service (I wish they literally slapped the wrist these days)- a very small way to learn a huge lesson if they take it to heart...
I still see that little boy from time to time- he married my sister. Every time I see his nose I feel so guilty about what happened, but he told me that day changed his life and has made him a very cautious man (good, because I know his wife will always be provided for) and in a weird way he is grateful that it happened.
At least that stupid prank had some redeeming effects! Hope your son's does, too. It will be hard, but remember when your boy learned to walk (and you wanted to wrap him in bubble wrap so he didn't get any boo-boos). Just like then, he had to get some bruises and you have to stand by and wait to kiss away the pain, same goes for now. He'll mess up, but do you want to end up carrying a full-grown man? If you don't teach him to walk, he'll break your back and your heart. Good luck!
