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Cluster-B sibling manipulating senile father

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Scapegoat

Junior Member
(California)

Was wondering your thoughts about narcissists in families and inheritance.

My older sibling has been coveting inheritance since it belonged to our grandparents. Even my cousins noticed, 30 years ago, and gave him the nickname "Mr. Inheritance." Now that I am learning more and more about what narcissists are capable of, I am highly suspicious he will attempt to manipulate our senile father regarding such matters.

In fact, I am informed that older sibling recently moved from another state to the town next to father's house. Our half-sis, will not reply to any of my messages about senile father's state of mind and the aggressive and abusive (and illegal) acts he's done recently. He stole and hocked a $5000 business inventory item from me for no reason (this is when I discovered he was senile 6 years ago, must be far worse by now), after he agreed to keep it in his garage for a few months until I could get there from from overseas. My family and I get there before the holiday, I was in the process of taking it off his hand when I was informed it was gone. The excuse given was, "uh, we gave that money gift last year". So that justifies theft and sabotage of my business deal, apparently. Obviously, senile father is scapegoating me, for some reason.

There is a lot more incoherent communication from senile father when I attempted to discuss his abhorrent and destructive misbehavior. A bunch of lies and nonsense, but I believe the REAL reason he stole my merchandise, is to "punish" me for not being able to come for thanksgiving, and having to postpone our visit to end of year. I live overseas, and though it was our full intention to try and visit for Thxgvg, business just wouldnt allow it.

I have done nothing wrong -- just trying to do business, take care of my family and, quite normally, thought my father might have an interest in my success. Apparently not since he is not living in reality.

Knowing my narcissist sibling, I do suspect his covetousness will lead him to attempt to manipulate the situation FULLY. He has gone on smear campaigns in the family before - against me. He has been pathologically envious and has "had it in" for me since childhood. He would physically abuse me, daily, often 3 times a day in early childhood. He is cluster-B, all the way.

OK, so what would you do if you were in my shoes? Do you have any experience or education about the legal stuff relating to narcissists in families? Should I get a lawyer and private investigator at the ready?

At least I have been gathering evidence of the incoherent and self-contradicting communications of senile father that demonstrate some serious psychosis and senility... in his own writing. I have evidence of his theft of my business inventory, etc. Will any of that hold in court?

I hadn't thought about this as a possible danger before.... but seems clear and present now that I am learning more about cluster-B types. I am advised by some sites to find a lawyer who is educated on cluster-B's. I would appreciate any advice you have on that.

Thanks.
 


Dandy Don

Senior Member
This message board is intended for legal questions only; your focus on the psychological issues can not really be dealt with here.

Did you file a police report regarding the theft? Aren't you willing to forgive his actions in this particular instance, perhaps to rightfully show mercy to him and avoid the prospect of an embarrasing (to him) court proceeding?

Has your father given power of attorney to someone to handle his finances/pay his bills?

If you are concerned about his mental competency, then you should be finding out from a family law attorney how you can attempt to have his competency evaluated and/or whether it would be worthwhile for you to ask the court for a conservatorship to have someone appointed to handle his financial affairs.

His competency is going to be a very serious matter whenever his will is probated.
 

Scapegoat

Junior Member
Thanks for your reply.

This message board is intended for legal questions only; your focus on the psychological issues can not really be dealt with here.
I do have legal questions above.
The psychological issues are a factor for consideration.

Did you file a police report regarding the theft? Aren't you willing to forgive his actions in this particular instance, perhaps to rightfully show mercy to him and avoid the prospect of an embarrasing (to him) court proceeding?
I mentioned that was 6 years ago. I think the statute of limitations is up.
No I didnt press charges, as I surmised his elevator wasnt going to the top.

Has your father given power of attorney to someone to handle his finances/pay his bills?
Not sure. But I doubt it, as he displays serious control issues.

If you are concerned about his mental competency, then you should be finding out from a family law attorney how you can attempt to have his competency evaluated and/or whether it would be worthwhile for you to ask the court for a conservatorship to have someone appointed to handle his financial affairs.
Thanks for the advice. Yes, I am concerned... for him and others.
He has hurt others, including a 9-y/o boy (emotionally) - his grandson, my nephew.

His competency is going to be a very serious matter whenever his will is probated.
Indeed.... hence my legal questions as related psychological issues and the difficulties in proving in court. Looking for advise on how to prepare or obtain court recognized evidence of either competency, or in the case of narcissistic sibling, manipulation and foul play. Thank you.
 

Dandy Don

Senior Member
Compiling the file is not a do-it-yourself project. That is information that doctors will supply and that your attorney will accumulate and request.
 

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