Dad remarried - do my sister & I stand a chance of getting fair treatment?

[rhiannon65]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Illinois

My father remarried about 20 years ago and my sister & I never had a great relationship with his new wife. Anyway, dad passed away recently and his wife is having her sister in law (her brother's wife) and her girlfriends help with all the arrangements, leaving out my sister & I, though we asked to help.

Since there was so much animosity from her (she was only 15 years older than my sister and I, and had her own 6 year old, she may have been threatened by us?), I am hoping that she will make sure things are taken care of correctly.

I am not getting a 'warm fuzzy' so far. For example:
I called his union hall this morning to see about his pension/insurance (in an effort to help, since I know it would be going to his wife, just his SS) and I was told "all that information was given to your aunt last week". Funny, I have two aunts. One is over 75 and living in a nursing home, and the other wasn't called until Saturday - the union hall is closed on the weekends...does that mean my dad's wife is having her SIL or girlfriends posing as someone else to gain info? I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she was just overwhelmed, but I really don't like the idea of her having her relatives and friends passing themselves off as someone else.

example 2
I contacted his insurance companies (he worked construction and had a substantial amount of life insurance so that my mom and us kids would be okay for a while if something would have happened to him), but was told that his wife submitted instructions that they were not to speak to anyone else about his policies - essentially the information was frozen.

Now, don't get me wrong, if he had anything to leave us, it would be a surprise (he lived life to the fullest), but if he left anything to my sister & I (or our kids), I would like to see it distributed and not hidden or squandered. His wife hasn't worked in a year due to surgery, so it is in her best interest as well to see it taken care of in a timely manner. I don't want to have any arguments, or family drama.

If he left a will, it would have to be filed, right? What if she didn't know he had one (unlikely, but you never know)? Can she NOT file it? What if he doesn't have a will at all?

Her (my dad's wife) daughter had a child and allegedly either she or she and my dad attempted to gain custody of the child - if he (my dad) is listed as his guardian is the child considered an heir?

I know this is a lot to ask. Thanks

 

[rhiannon65]

bump - can any help/guide me, please?

I just got home from the wake and my dad's wife made a big production about how she 'was doing this for Mary (my grandmother) and THEM (meaning my sister and I). She was even mad that my sister called me.

She spent the majority of the afternoon telling her friends and her family that I had no right to be there, dad wouldn't have wanted all of this (then why did she spend 800 on flowers?), telling my grandmother how good he (and she) were to her and just generally trash talking my sister & I. I can handle it. She has always been hostile toward me, but my sister is rather emotional and let's it get to her.

His wife will 'make an appearance' at the luncheon (which she didn't want to have, my grandmother insisted and ended up paying for). I'd love to give her a piece of my mind but I don't want to jeopardize the fact that gram has some of her things at their house and she needs to get them (my saying something to dad's wife would cause her refuse anything to gram).

Any suggestions....

Thanks

 

[lwpat]

If you are listed as a beneficiary on any insurance they will have to contact you. If he left a will his wife can either file it or destroy it, usually depending on what is in her best interests.

There is little you can do except track the probate file. If she does not open one within a reasonable time then you have to decide if you want to file as executor. She will contest and the court will side with her.

 

[rhiannon65]

If he died without a will (or she destroys the one he might have had), do my sister & I have any recourse at all? He has several pieces of artwork that she (his wife) detested and would not let him hang in the house (they were in storage for years) and a few other wildlife related items (he was a hunter) that she made him store.

Can she give these things to her brothers and friends, or should they go to us (if they were dad's and she doesn't want them)? I'm pretty sure dad didn't have much money, and that's really not what we are looking for, sentimental items, things that we remember from our childhood and things that dad said we could have when he got them...that's really all we are interested in.

Also, my gram (dad's mom) was living with them when dad passed. We're afraid his wife will not let her get her things (her house was sold recently and she was living with dad and his wife until last week). Dad and his wife took things from her house of value (presumably so in the event of a break in, there would be nothing to take), and we want to make sure gram gets these things back as well. Since they are hers, she can legally get them, right?

Thanks again

 

[Dandy Don]

You are jumping the gun--the will is normally filed within 30 days after the death. Check at the county courthouse to see if it has been filed or if anyone has been named administrator/executor.

If there is no will, then you would be entitled to a portion of the estate.

Right now, you don't know the exact details about the estate assets, and it looks like much of it passes outside of probate (such as the insurance policies). So unless there are other assets besides the pension money (if it didn't name a specific beneficiary), then it looks like you won't get much of anything unless you were named as a beneficiary in the will.

All you can do right now is to give the administrator/executor your names and addresses in case they need to contact you about this estate.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])