Dad's 2nd wife refuses to communicate

[rhiannon65]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

My father passed away last month and my sister & I are not getting any communication from his widow. (Our mother is deceased also.)

She (his wife) refuses to answer the phone and the one time she did pick up (must not have realized it was me), she hung up on me when I tried to ask her about Dad's things, if he had a will, etc.

She spent the entire wake & funeral bad mouthing everyone (me, my sister, my grandmother - dad's mom) to anyone who would listen, but then in the next breath talked about how her 'fighting days were over'. (I have no idea what she meant by that)

Anyway, we (my sister & I) know he had several pieces of artwork, animal mounts and firearms (he hunted quite a bit before he remarried) and his wife didn't care for that hobby so he put it all in storage. I pretty sure he didn't have a will (I have called the Cty clerks office where they lived and she hasn't filed anything either), but my sister & I are just looking for a little courtesy from her to be able to go through the things of his that she does't (or didn't) want before she tosses it or let's her friends take it. I think he even had reel-to-reel home movies of us kids, that no one would want but us.

Any suggestions? We don't even know if he had life insurance - she just refuses to speak to us.

Thanks!

 

[anteater]

...... - she just refuses to speak to us.

That is her right.

You can always go down to the county courthouse and file to open an intestate probate and apply to be the personal representative of the estate.

 

[rhiannon65]

yes, I know it's her right not to speak to us, but there are other issues that need to be addresses, like personal family photos and movies, as well as things she didn't like him having. Should my sister and I just sit by and let her toss this stuff or give it away to her friends to spite us?

Also, you mention going down to the county courthouse and file to open an intestate probate and apply to be the personal representative of the estate. What will that do? Will it allow my sister and I to get some of the personal items we want to hold on to?

Thank you for the additional help!

 

[anteater]

Also, you mention going down to the county courthouse and file to open an intestate probate and apply to be the personal representative of the estate. What will that do? Will it allow my sister and I to get some of the personal items we want to hold on to?

It will light a fire under stepmother to produce the will, if there is one, and/or object to your appointment as PR. And, if she doesn't, then you will have the legal authorization to inventory your father's assets for the estate. It will not give you and sister the right to "claim" and take certain items as your own. That is for the probate process to work out.

But, at least, it enables you to establish that those items exist. If you don't establish that they exist and stepmother tosses or gives them away, you would have a tough time arguing against a possible stepmother's contention that your father disposed of them before his death.