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estranged dad returns in the nick of time...

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alaorphan

Junior Member
undefinedWhat is the name of your state? Alabama

my mom passed away in february 2004, and my dad had been estranged for 10 years prior. he returned within a year of her death. she bought the house (paid in full @ once) with her own funds acquired during his gone time. i am not positive she didn't have some sort of will around somewhere. dad has had ample time to find and destroy, knowing it was quite possible she would have made exceptions to his remarrying or letting another woman live there. he has been a cheat for most of their marriage. mom only wished for dad to come home and stay faithful.

i also wish to mention that mom never did put dad’s name on the deed. i know this is fact because he has been hounding me to hand over my right to my share, and to talk to my younger brother about doing the same (in his behalf, because my younger brother is very angry at the way he ran off and left mom for another woman - and now really doesn’t wish to speak to him) it might also be good to add that the house they shared together went into for-closure shortly after my dad’s taking off. mom couldn’t afford to keep the house payments up. she only wished for dad to come home...

he has brought a woman in within 4-6 months after her death. he and his girlfriend are over the road truck drivers, and do not "really" live in the house at all, but she has a daughter that "comes in" and feeds the dogs. they come into town for a few days maybe one a month. i understand that dad is entitled to up to half, but if he marries, that will bring this woman into the mix who will then be entitled to his half at his death. why should we have to share with outsiders? and if dad dies, and SHE remarries...

they drive for fed-ex, and are special delivery drivers. i’m sure they are amassing great assets in their own right. they should have no trouble getting a place of their own instead of living in a house where my mom spent all those painful years alone without the benefit of dad. can you sense some bitterness? probably. i am sure that if my dad were to pass, she will not graciously share anything with us that they acquired together. we have already experienced the dirty deeds that people try and get by with when someone dies. we were in a similar situation when my grandmother died in ’87.

i really don’t think any of kids really expect her to share anyway, although it would be nice for us to be included since dad will surely put his name on everything they acquire together. she has a daughter from a previous marriage. i figure she will get everything that comes along after the settling of mom’s property. and it will probably be far more worth anything that mom’s modest estate would be worth.

i only wish mom would have taken the time to handle her affairs properly. too late for that now.

i’m afraid that our hands are tied here, but we don’t really want to have to include dad in this, since he made the conscience decision to leave mom, and mom was forced to make her way alone, and secured property in her own right, without any help from him. especially when she lived in the house all those years without him, and he only came around at the end of her life.

are we just gonna have to always split moms property halfway with total strangers? this seems unreal! is there anything we can do? i guess going ahead and making a sale is the best for all of us, but i don’t want to move TOO quickly? i can already feel it coming to pass that this woman will not treat us fairly, and why should she. i understand how things like this change people who are related by blood, so i can imagine how dirty it can get when an outsider is brought into the mix. we are not talking about a large estate here! mom bought an (88 model ?) mobile home on an acre of land. she told me she paid 30 grand for it, and i guess it appreciated some, but i doubt that much. and i also doubt she had very much in her bank accounts either... which no one can look at OR touch because they were also in her name alone.

the house is only gonna get more run down with time. i need a solution for my brothers and i’s best interest.

ALSO! there are 3 of us kids. my older brother and i were born to her first husband who died when he was 22 (in 1969), and our younger brother is our current dad’s child. and he is now 30 years old.

dad even told me that when they moved mom back up to intensive care (for which she would never recover) that he wanted to ask out the nurse who gave him that information.

he was such a cad! poor mom. it seems evident that she married for love only.

sorry for the length, i thought all of it could be revelent.
 


Dandy Don

Senior Member
You need to be consulting with a local probate attorney to figure out your best options, or post your question on www.lawguru.com, since an Alabama probate attorney is not likely to be reading this message board.

How much will the home sell for?

Surviving spouse is entitled to the first $50,000 in estate value.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])
 

alaorphan

Junior Member
Dandy Don said:
You need to be consulting with a local probate attorney to figure out your best options, or post your question on www.lawguru.com, since an Alabama probate attorney is not likely to be reading this message board.

How much will the home sell for?

Surviving spouse is entitled to the first $50,000 in estate value.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])
~ ~ ~

thanks for the response dandy don. :)

i have contacted the probate court, and made sure nothing was filed. and what steps would have to be taken. i wonder... could my dad have already started this process without us? because my brother mentioned something about him (dad) being able to actually get into the account, and drain it.

i don't think the property will be worth much more than say, $60 grand. maybe more.. since real estate rarely seems to depreciate.

my sister in law had a most feasable idea...

if dad wants ourr shares so badly, why not name out price, and just let him BUY our shares out from under us.

i (re)spoke to a probate attny in alabama who put it as simply as this..

like the fram oil filter commercial you see on tv... the mechanic is holding the filter saying, you can either pay me now, or pay me later.. and i think we all know what THAT means.

i aksed dad a few weeks ago if he would be willing to "sign a paper" to insure to us that we will never be left out or have to split anything with any future wife he may have, and he said he would.. i had no idea what kind of form, i was only looking to see what kind of response i would get.

can you offer any ideas of a "form" that we can put together? the probate lawyer in alabama said there were a few options, but it would cost us more to get this information (and have him file it, i suppose) than the property sounds like it would be worth.

i am a little angry with mom, not so much that she didn;t take care of things, but more so that she left us in a position to have to deal with dad in this way.. rubbing this in OUR faces when our main concern has always been the grief of her loss.

and thank you for the link you offered. i will surely check into it.
 

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