Executor & power of attorney

[sadlepenny]

What is the name of your state? VIRGINIA

I am the executor and PofA for a friend who is deathly ill, not many days left. I have caretaken for her for 5.5 months. During this time I begged family to come and help me take her to dr. appointments etc. they never did, NOW with her only weeks or days from dying they are coming around trying to get her to change me from being the executor of her estate, I gave up my job so that I could take care of her... She told them NO that she wanted me to remain in this position. I am afraid they will make her sign something when she is out of sorts. I have a copy of her will ... Wouldn't I have to sign something to make myself no longer the executor or can they cohort her into doing a signing when I am not there? Thank you.What is the name of your state?

 

[tranquility]

You are *not* the executor until the court appoints you as one. The family can contest the deceased wishes. If she signs something beforehand and she is still competent, you can be removed from being the executor as the court would never appoint a non-family member without a request by the deceased.

 

[sadlepenny]

You are *not* the executor until the court appoints you as one. The family can contest the deceased wishes. If she signs something beforehand and she is still competent, you can be removed from being the executor as the court would never appoint a non-family member without a request by the deceased.

I did go to the attorney's office and sign papers and they were notorized -- her stating that I am to be her executor when she passes, and she also gave me PofA at that time. She is not competent to sign papers now....If they can take this away, what's the point of me doing all that? When will the COURT appoint me executor? After she passes?
Thank you for your interest in this matter. Sadlepenny

 

[tranquility]

I don't know why you went through all that as the deceased only suggests. The court decides after death and when a person petitions to open probate.

 

[Dandy Don]

You are worrying needlessly. As long as you have the POA and the will, you are in the position of control.

Take the will to a probate attorney to evaluate how strong it is. If she is specifically disinheriting any relatives, she must state a specific reason as to why she is doing it. If she wants to disinherit them she may need to rewrite the will with certain specific language that the attorney can advise her about. Hopefully she is leaving something for the relatives even if it is a small bequest. There is nothing the other relatives can do.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])

 

[las365]

On what are you basing your contention that she is incompetent? Does she have dementia? If so, it would be wise to ask her physician to provide a medical opinion regarding her mental competency in case you wish to contest any changes that are made to the Will or POA.

Most POA's are revocable, I believe. So in theory, the family could get her to revoke the POA and perhaps name someone else. They could also get her to change her Will. It would be up to you, if you have standing, to dispute the changes.

Some clarification of the potential dispute would be helpful. Is the POA revocable? What are the bequests in the Will? Is she leaving everything to you? Being the Executor just means that you administrate and carry out the terms of the Will. If she is leaving her Estate to her family, what does it matter to you that you be the one to be the Executor?

 

[anteater]

...If she is specifically disinheriting any relatives, she must state a specific reason as to why she is doing it...

That is not the case.

 

[las365]

More questions for the OP:

What is your relationship to this person?
How did you become her caretaker?
How are you supporting yourself if you quit your job to care for her?

I, of course, am thinking of the other side of the coin that people often post about here: the predatory caretaker. Not accusing you of that! Just wondering what the entire story is...

 

[sadlepenny]

caretaker, etc...

Good close friends we are... She got sick... Her family felt it was "inconvenient" for them to come and help or to take her to her dr's appointments.
And there were many... more than just local driving too, her hospital of choice was 1.5 hours away....
Got a little gas money, but no one else could seem to make it there on the days she had to go, and I wasn't going to let her try and drive sick - - I am not there because I wanted anything....
I don't have a huge mortgage and I had a little savings, etc. I have actually worked a couple of days a month to get by.
The relatives now seem to have "time" to be interested in her "estate" -- maybe she has less than a month to live .... They came with an attorney and wanted to relieve me of my duties as Executor/PoA... she told them No and I have a witness. I am just afraid that they will hold her hand and make her sign when she is not in sorts... I would say she wouldn't remember signing it the next day, she goes in and out of compentency.
She has definately left them plenty of her estate, everyone gets something. Perhaps they are not happy a friend will get some of the estate? Believe me it's not millions, and her house has to be sold -- in this day and age, it could take a while...I need to make sure there is enough funds to pay the mortgage until it does sell also, another concern... Right now 20 houses in the same neighborhood have been sitting with For Sale signs for a few months.....
I am just trying to see if they can come in and make her sign something and I don't have any recourse from all these months of losing work and extra wear and mileage on my car and I end up with nothing. She made me executor because she knew I was honest and I was the only one helping her, she wanted me to get something. I did not go into this for anything, but now I have lost money, etc. and feel I should be compensated, as she decided that I should.
I do read all your posts and I am taking in all the information, I can't comment on each one at this time.

 

[las365]

Unfortunately I know from personal experience that a death in the family does not bring out the best in a lot of people. I'm not surprised to hear that her family has materialized to try to get their hands on her goods when they didn't have time to care for her when it would have meant a lot to her.

If the attorney who came to her home with the family members is ethical, he hopefully advised his clients to drop it after seeing her decline to sign alternative documents. Keep in mind that he is a potential witness if there is some future dispute over a newly signed Will or POA. You may want to speak to the attorney who drew up her Will and the POA and advise him or her of what is going on and ask if s/he has any advice for you to follow in order to try to protect your friend's interests.

It sounds like you have been a good and caring friend and would like to continue to protect your friend after she passes away. I wish you luck in dealing with her family; sadly, they are probably unlikely to give you any recognition or thanks.