Maybe you wouldn’t be so worked up if you had troubled to get your facts straight.
For instance the proceeds of a life insurance policy insuring the life of the deceased that are payable to other than the decedent’s estate ARE NOT subject to an Iowa inheritance tax!
(Iowa does not consider such proceeds as part of the gross estate for any purpose. See Iowa Code Inheritance Tax Chapter 450. And I rather suspect it may be the same for the 401K inasmuch as it was paid to you outside of probate.)
Secondly, the fees for the attorney for the personal representative ARE NOT based upon a percentage of the gross or net estate. No such fees can be paid until approved by the court and shown to be reasonable in amount and based on actual services rendered. *
If you are so inconvenienced by Iowa’s inheritance tax laws, perhaps you can air your grievances with the Iowa legislature or state tax collector.
You mention "odd"? This is odd:
Millions of people have and are losing their jobs, their homes, their cars, their savings, living on money set aside for their children’s education, etc., etc., and then there are those that whimper over being charged a small percentage tax on money that is literally dropped in their lap.
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[*] Iowa Code Section 633.198 Attorney fee.
“There shall also be allowed and taxed as part of the costs of administration of estates as an attorney's fee for the personal representative's attorney, SUCH REASONABLE FEE AS MAY BE DETERMINED BY THE COURT, FOR SERVICES RENDERED, but not in excess of the schedule of fees herein provided for personal representatives.” *(Emphasis added)
Iowa Code Section 633.197 Compensation. (Fiduciary)
“Personal representatives shall be allowed such reasonable fees as may be determined by the court for services rendered, but not in excess of the following commissions upon the gross assets of the estate listed in the probate inventory, which shall be received as full compensation for all ordinary services:
For the first one thousand dollars, six percent;
For the overplus (sic) between one and five thousand dollars, four percent;
For purposes of this section, the gross assets of the estate shall not include life insurance proceeds, unless payable to the decedent's estate.”