hilbillyboy1982
Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Virginia
My father who is 90 years old is living in a private assisted living environment in Norfolk, VA. I am his only living son, and his only living sister lives in Crewe ,VA. I received the following e-mail from his caretaker regarding POA/Living Will/Advanced Directives. My question is what happens to my fathers estate if he continues to refuse to appoint a POA or set up an advanced directive indicating his wishes and he becomes incapacitated and dies? Should i encourage his caregiver to have his mental status evaluated by a Veterans Administration Doctor? He indicated to his caregiver that he wants the State of Virginia to make arrangements for him, but I am unsure of what would happen when his health declines to the point were he can no longer make decisions for himself. He is a combat disabled WW II Veteran and I live in omaha, NE and I am not at all familiar with Virginia Estate/Probate Law. Below is the section of my fathers caregivers e-mail that might help yopu to answer my questions.
Caregivers E-Mail to me:
"the hospital gave him an Advance Directive primer. I tried my best to talk to him about it but he chewed me out for doing that. Can you talk to Bobby (his sister) about that? I told him I have both a will and an Advanced Directive set up for myself but he blocks me everytime I bring it up or even approach this subject with him. Also, I attempted to approach the idea of him choosing a POA just in case something happens to him and he can no longer make decisions for himself. He blocked that out too. I have tried to explain to your father that i can not make these decisions for him either.
When you call him, maybe you can discuss these things with him. Tell him that he can choose his sister Bobby as his POA. Maybe you can discuss that with Bobby too when ou speak to her next time. Or maybe a non-profit organization like Catholic Charities would be an option. When your Dad first lived with us a Social Services representative recommended them and even brought a lady from the agency out to speak to your father about this. Your dad was very sociable with her but he refused to use their services. He said that he would rather the state of Virginia take care of or decide for him in any eventuality. He asked me if I wanted to be his POA- knowing fully well that I have refused and will always refuse because I know how complicated and involved it would be. For some reason, he does not seem to want you to be his POA when you are the only logical choice there is. Please help me with this!"
My father who is 90 years old is living in a private assisted living environment in Norfolk, VA. I am his only living son, and his only living sister lives in Crewe ,VA. I received the following e-mail from his caretaker regarding POA/Living Will/Advanced Directives. My question is what happens to my fathers estate if he continues to refuse to appoint a POA or set up an advanced directive indicating his wishes and he becomes incapacitated and dies? Should i encourage his caregiver to have his mental status evaluated by a Veterans Administration Doctor? He indicated to his caregiver that he wants the State of Virginia to make arrangements for him, but I am unsure of what would happen when his health declines to the point were he can no longer make decisions for himself. He is a combat disabled WW II Veteran and I live in omaha, NE and I am not at all familiar with Virginia Estate/Probate Law. Below is the section of my fathers caregivers e-mail that might help yopu to answer my questions.
Caregivers E-Mail to me:
"the hospital gave him an Advance Directive primer. I tried my best to talk to him about it but he chewed me out for doing that. Can you talk to Bobby (his sister) about that? I told him I have both a will and an Advanced Directive set up for myself but he blocks me everytime I bring it up or even approach this subject with him. Also, I attempted to approach the idea of him choosing a POA just in case something happens to him and he can no longer make decisions for himself. He blocked that out too. I have tried to explain to your father that i can not make these decisions for him either.
When you call him, maybe you can discuss these things with him. Tell him that he can choose his sister Bobby as his POA. Maybe you can discuss that with Bobby too when ou speak to her next time. Or maybe a non-profit organization like Catholic Charities would be an option. When your Dad first lived with us a Social Services representative recommended them and even brought a lady from the agency out to speak to your father about this. Your dad was very sociable with her but he refused to use their services. He said that he would rather the state of Virginia take care of or decide for him in any eventuality. He asked me if I wanted to be his POA- knowing fully well that I have refused and will always refuse because I know how complicated and involved it would be. For some reason, he does not seem to want you to be his POA when you are the only logical choice there is. Please help me with this!"