My grandma has Power of Attorney and won't give me my dad's contact info

[missmydad]

Sacramento, California, U.S.A.

My dad has schizophrenia and was placed in a home in the Sacramento area, California. I haven't seen him in 35 years.

A year ago I began communicating with his mom (who is 90 years old) and my aunt but they have denied each of my requests to contact my dad. I told them I don't want any money from him I just want an opportunity to get to know him. They hold power of attorney over him and have told me point blank they don't want me to contact him. I was told by my aunt (his sister) that he is happy in the home they placed him in, that he is taking his medication and his condition is considered stable, and she said he thinks about me every day.

I'm also not sure what my rights are as his daughter.

I'm trying to I find out which home he is in. I know his full legal name and his social security number and have my birth certificate and he is still legally married to my mother.

My questions are:

1. How can I find out which facility he is in?

2. Do I have legal rights to contact him? And if so in what ways may I contact him. Can I write him a letter? Can I call him? May I visit him?

3. If I mail a letter to all of the mental illness facilities in the area addressed to my dad, if he lives at one of them will they deliver the letter to him?

4. Do I need to file a legal proceeding to gain access to my dad since they have power of attorney and don't want me to be in contact with him?

5. Can a private investigator retrieve information I cannot in locating my dad?

6. Even though they have been separated for 35 years my mother is still legally married to my dad – what are her rights to contact him?

What I want:

• To contact my dad
• To avoid a lengthy legal battle with my grandmother
• To minimize/avoid hefty legal/lawyer fees
• To minimize/avoid private investigation fees

I just want to get to know my dad and I don't know how to go about it. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

 

[AdjunctFL]

First, as a premise, a Power of Attorney means nothing in this situation. All it does is give them the opportunity to act on Dad’s behalf, usually in financial matters. If they were appointed his guardian, the situation would be different.

1. How can I find out which facility he is in?

It may take some effort on your part, because they don’t have to tell you. If you have any idea where the location is, you could begin just by calling.

2. Do I have legal rights to contact him? And if so in what ways may I contact him. Can I write him a letter? Can I call him? May I visit him?

Based solely on the facts in your post, there is no reason why you can’t contact him in any manner you want.

3. If I mail a letter to all of the mental illness facilities in the area addressed to my dad, if he lives at one of them will they deliver the letter to him?

There is no way to answer that, as it depends on what someone else would do. Most likely they would but, if Dad is not able to understand the letter, you may never know.

4. Do I need to file a legal proceeding to gain access to my dad since they have power of attorney and don't want me to be in contact with him?

You haven’t been denied access to your Dad, you just can’t find him. If you show up at the door to the facility and they won’t let you in, then you were denied access and could consider a legal proceeding.

5. Can a private investigator retrieve information I cannot in locating my dad?

Who knows? I’m sure they will suggest that they can but to do so, they will charge you a fee, which may or may not result in them finding him.

6. Even though they have been separated for 35 years my mother is still legally married to my dad – what are her rights to contact him?

Mom has the same rights as yours.

 

[Dandy Don]

A private investigator would be a good place to start your search. Since you have his SSN, that is enough for the PI to obtain an address history. See if that is fruitful. If not, then ask the PI if he would consider doing surveillance on the aunt for a few days to see if she visits her brother and thereby inadvertently gives a clue as to his whereabouts.

 

[Zigner]

If they were appointed his guardian, the situation would be different.

Just a point of clarification. In California, the term is conservator. Minors get guardian's, adults get conservators.

 

[Proserpina]

It may take some effort on your part, because they don’t have to tell you. If you have any idea where the location is, you could begin just by calling.

Wouldn't the staff be bound by privacy issues by indicating that Dad is there?

 

[LdiJ]

Wouldn't the staff be bound by privacy issues by indicating that Dad is there?

If I was going to do it. I wouldn't call and ask if he was there. I would call and state that I needed to speak to one of their patients, Joe Smith (or whatever his name is) and let them tell me that I have made a mistake and that he is not a patient there. If they answer in any other way than he is not a patient here, then there is a chance that he is.

 

[AdjunctFL]

Wouldn't the staff be bound by privacy issues by indicating that Dad is there?

Perhaps, but when I call a hospital and ask for John Doe's room, I usually get through. I probably wouldn't have any success if his/her account was somehow flagged for no visitors.

 

[Proserpina]

Perhaps, but when I call a hospital and ask for John Doe's room, I usually get through. I probably wouldn't have any success if his/her account was somehow flagged for no visitors.

If permission is granted to be listed in the "directory", that's fair enough.

 

[Proserpina]

If I was going to do it. I wouldn't call and ask if he was there. I would call and state that I needed to speak to one of their patients, Joe Smith (or whatever his name is) and let them tell me that I have made a mistake and that he is not a patient there. If they answer in any other way than he is not a patient here, then there is a chance that he is.

That's interesting.

 

[Silverplum]

That's interesting.

Sneaky! Smart!

(Scary Ld! )