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rsbstl

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? MO

My father died in November 2007. He left no will. He was divorced from my mother for 15 years. She is remarried. There are three children, a brother in the West, a sister in Missouri and me in the East.

My father had a house that he purchased about 10 years ago. The mortgage is paid. He had some vacation property, a car, a boat, furniture, tools, machines and appliances, cash, bank accounts, a pension, personal items, etc. My sister is the most likely candidate to administer the estate. She was primary caregiver and had power of attorney over his healthcare issues. However, she gets very emotional – sad or angry – when I bring up estate issues.

I hate that I’m beginning to get concerned frustrated and angry with her, but I feel that there may be important issues that are not being addressed. I feel that my sister may be unable or unwilling to step up for this. At worst, I feel she is taking advantage of the consideration being shown her. I need do something so that I can stop thinking about it. We supported each other throughout my father’s illness and have always enjoyed a good relationship, which I want to continue.

She has moved from her rental home into my father’s house. His items have been moved to storage and his cash and valuables placed in her safety deposit box. She has been doing costly, but necessary repairs to the house. She has also begun cosmetic upgrades and is shopping for new furniture. She assumes all of these items will be paid for with estate funds.

I travelled to Missouri often during my father’s illness, so I do not have the time off to do so now, nor do I have the personal funds to hire an attorney. I would appreciate any advice or expertise about how to navigate this issue. What steps must be taken and when?

Thank you.What is the name of your state?
 


Dandy Don

Senior Member
Please stop being so naive--the good relationship is virtually over. Greed has brought out her selfishness. She's spending up part of YOUR inheritance and it's time for you to go into fighting mode to protect what is yours.

She may be sad because she is still grieving but she is truly going to be angry because her potential theft/manipulation/abuse of these assets is going to be discovered. The power of attorney she got may have covered aspects of health care but it is also almost certain that she got a power of attorney that enabled her to get access to his personal finances. She is supposed to keep an accounting of how she spent those monies for father's care and also keep receipts to prove that she has not kept any excess monies for herself, but it looks like she has abused that power.

Normally the will is filed/probate begun between 30-90 days after the death. She has had ample time to open up the estate. So you should give her written notice/certified letter that if she has not filed to open up probate within 3 days, that you are going to do so. Then check with the county courthouse probate court to see if she or her attorney has in fact filed anything to open up probate. If not, then contact 5-6 probate attorneys who practice in the same city where the death took place until you find one willing to represent your interest in this estate. Beg or borrow the money from a bank, credit union, or family member to pay the retainer if you have to.

If you know the company where your father was employed, you could be checking on the state of his pension yourself. Check online county records to see who has been paying the property taxes on the home which may give an indication as to whose name is showing as owner. What would the home be worth if sold? You can perhaps force a sale of the home if that is what you wish but you need to get probate started to begin the process.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])
 
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