Who choses daughter's stone

[kathyms3150]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania
In February my 19 year old daughter died in an accident. Her father and I are divorced. He's been full of hate since divorce and won't even talk to me. He's also a compulsive liar, confirmed by a doctor. About a week after her funeral he called me crying, asking me to meet him and sign a paper otherwise the funeral wouldn't get paid for. I read the paper but didn't understand it, mainly because I was in such a state of grief. It didn't say anything about him being made executor, at least not to my understanding. Turns out it made him executor of our daughter's estate, she didn't have a will. Looking back I shouldn't have signed it without having a lawyer look at it. I feel though that I signed it under duress because I'd just lost Kate, and he "tricked" me into signing it. Anyway, the deed to her cemetery plot was made out as me being the owner of the plot. I didn't pay for it though, the estate did. He's now giving me a hard time getting a grave stone for her. He doesn't like the one I chose for her. Since I own the plot, don't I have the right to put whatever stone I want there? The owner of the cemetery says that I do. I have a lawyer but he isn't sure because he's never dealt with this issue before. Everyone keeps telling me to just have the stone I want put there since I own the plot. Mainly what worries me is that the estate paid for the plot, even though the deed says I own it. I don't know what to do. Sorry this is so long. Kathy

 

[Mass_Shyster]

Mainly what worries me is that the estate paid for the plot, even though the deed says I own it.

If the deed says you own it, then you own it.

 

[kathyms3150]

I think since the deed says I own it I can put the stone I want on her grave. I don't mean to sound paranoid, but my ex will do anything he can to hurt me. If there's the slightest chance I'm wrong and he takes me court and I have to remove the stone, well, I don't want to see him gloat over it. Thanks.

 

[nextwife]

I think since the deed says I own it I can put the stone I want on her grave. I don't mean to sound paranoid, but my ex will do anything he can to hurt me. If there's the slightest chance I'm wrong and he takes me court and I have to remove the stone, well, I don't want to see him gloat over it. Thanks.

Why don't you and he try to meet at the monument company and select a stone together? One picks the writing, and the other the stone style, or some other compromise? Place the order together, so you know what is being selectyed.

 

[kathyms3150]

My ex won't even talk to me let alone meet me at the stone place. Like I said, if I didn't accept his choice of cemeteries my daughter wouldn't have been buried until it was settled in court. A few months before her accident she moved in with him because it was close to where she was working. After the accident he wouldn't let me come to his house to look through her things, yet he let her friends come and take whatever they wanted. When he chose the cemetery he told me that I could choose whatever stone that I wanted, but of course he'd lie and say that he didn't say that. (That was one of the few times he had to talk to me). He also tried to screw me out of half of the insurance money, not that money means anything compared to my daughter. There's absolutely no compromise with him. He's pure evil!