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could probation conditions affect child custody

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J

justvic

Guest
What is the name of your state? Tennessee

My boyfriend has been on probation for 5 years with 2 to go for statutory rape and sexual battery. We want to get engaged and get married, but I'm afraid it won't be allowed because I have a 10 year old son. Statutory rape seems to be lumped in with child molesters and everything else under the sex offender category and I'm worried there may be a probation condition preventing him from living with my son. He is going to ask his probation officer about it next month, but in the meantime I'm worrying myself to death. Is it possible that it could be a problem? Or are the probation conditions different for statutory rape?
 


calatty

Senior Member
Sexual battery is a form of rape, and statutory rape is having sex with an underage girl. If you want to marry a sex offender who likes little girls, that is your business, but for the sake of your son I hope Tennessee keeps him away from your home. What you should be worried to death about is why you feel you don't deserve better than a rapist. Oh, it must be because he was falsely accused, had a sad childhood, but through your love and caring has really turned his life around and changed, right? Yeah, right.
 
J

justvic

Guest
I guess it was stupid on my part to ask advise on the internet. You would think on a site like this, people would be a little less judgemental. As a matter of fact, he did have sex with the underage girl. He was an old man of 19 at the time and she was 17. They got caught by her father, who didn't want them together to begin with. It was claimed that he assaulted her because he said he saw bruises and his daughter would never do such a thing. The girl (who I am still acquainted with) even told her lawyers that she was willing. So before you jump to conclusions and judge people, maybe you should take a little more time and thought.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
justvic said:
What is the name of your state? Tennessee

My boyfriend has been on probation for 5 years with 2 to go for statutory rape and sexual battery. We want to get engaged and get married, but I'm afraid it won't be allowed because I have a 10 year old son. Statutory rape seems to be lumped in with child molesters and everything else under the sex offender category and I'm worried there may be a probation condition preventing him from living with my son. He is going to ask his probation officer about it next month, but in the meantime I'm worrying myself to death. Is it possible that it could be a problem? Or are the probation conditions different for statutory rape?

My response:

What's the story with your son's father?

IAAL
 

stephenk

Senior Member
so how did he come to be convicted of sexual battery if the girl said she was willing? The statutory rape is a given, since a minor cannot give legal consent no matter how much she said she wanted it.

The sexual battery had to have been supported by evidence and the girl's testimony, right?

so what does your son's father have to say about your boyfriend? he could raise a stink and try and get custody, if he really wants to.
 
J

justvic

Guest
He visits every other week and pays child support, but not much more. He knows everything if thats what you're wondering. We live in a small town where everyone knows everything, so he knows about my boyfriend. But he knew him then too. It was simply a matter of a parent getting upset that his daughter was having sex. But its still on his record, no matter what the case is. So my son's father has no problem at all with the relationship.
 
J

justvic

Guest
Oops, missed a post. The sexual battery came from bruises that her father said she had on her arms. She denied it. She did claim that they "got rough" but said there were never any marks. He didn't even spend a night in jail, but got 7 years probation.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
justvic said:
So my son's father has no problem at all with the relationship.

=====================================


My response:

. . . right now, you mean. He won't have a "problem with the relationship" until he gets a hankering to obtain custody of your son. That's when your personal judgments with the court are going to be weighed against the "best interests of the child."

Think three times before you place yourself, and your son, in legal jeopardy.

Word to the wise.

IAAL
 
J

justvic

Guest
Thats the sort of thing I was wondering about. If something like that could happen. I don't know if the circumstances make a difference or if simply the fact that he has the record and is on probation could be a problem. Thank you for your response.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
justvic said:
Thats the sort of thing I was wondering about.

MY RESPONSE: Well, after you're married to a rapist, you'll always be "wondering".



If something like that could happen. I don't know if the circumstances make a difference or if simply the fact that he has the record and is on probation could be a problem.

MY RESPONSE: Child custody cases come up when one of the parents gets remarried. In your situation, your ex, from a "statistical standpoint", and when he gets remarried, will make a "power grab" for custody of his son. This is usually prompted by the stepparent (the new wife). This happens all the time, and the court usually sides with the Petitioning parent. In other words, you'd be playing Russian Roulette with the security of your son.

"Your" circumstances are of no value to the court. The court is only interested in your son's "circumstances", and whether living with a convicted rapist is in the "best interests of the child". The court could very well change the custody order - - giving YOU visitation with your own son.



Thank you for your response.

MY RESPONSE: You're welcome. But, for your own sanity, and the sake of your son, and the situation you now share (custody), it might be a difficult thing to do, but your best move is to say "good-bye" to your fiancé. You can't afford to take a stacked, and calculated, risk with your son.

Think real hard about this.

IAAL
 

calatty

Senior Member
We are so judgmental because we have seen people like your lying boyfriend and the women who believe theire lies a thousand times. Check out the TN statutory rape statute:

"(a) Statutory rape is sexual penetration of a victim by the defendant or of the defendant by the victim when the victim is at least thirteen (13) but less than eighteen (18) years of age and the defendant is at least four (4) years older than the victim."

If he was 19 and she was 17, it wouldn't have been statutory rape. So he likes little girls and he is a liar.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
Calatty - -

Down girl, DOWN GIRL!!

(Grrrrrrrrr)

Get back, GET BACK!!!

(GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRufffGrowwwwwwl!!)

Down girl!!


I'm sorry. My attack dog, CalAtty, got out of the fence again. I'm putting a collar on her and chaining her up.

Look at those big canines!!

IAAL
 
H

HillaryfromNY

Guest
I bet this 17 year old "girl" is the town's slut that looks all used and old.
 
C

Crusaader

Guest
I have been watching this thread and have the following view to impart on all of you:

This woman came to this site to find advice on a very real problem in her life and did not deserve to have her integrity questioned by people with a cross to burn. Not all people who commit a sex offense are pedophiles or violent offenders. There are laws that exist to protect our children. However, if a 17 year old steps forward and tells the court that he/she committed a consensual act with the accused then that should be taken into consideration. The fact of the matter is that it IS taken into consideration. Everyday in courts of law around the country judges are using “victim” consent as a determining factor when it comes to sentencing guidelines.

How many of us can say that we were NOT having sex when we were 17? Some, I’m sure but most, I bet not. Statistics show, as does common sense, that 16 and 17 year olds are making the informed, calculated decision to have sex. For instance, check out this website: http://www.sxetc.org/. It is a website made by teens, for teens just as it states on the home page. These probable “victims” are not only making the decision to have sex, they are providing (and provided) with choice tidbits on how to have fun while doing it safe. Perhaps it is time for lawmakers to amend state laws that list 18 as the age of consent and bring it down to a more realistic age, like 16. If having consenting sex with a 17 year old was so damn bad, then how come not every state lists 18 as the age of consent?

My thoughts to calatty, and to all others with similar viewpoints, is this: Don’t pass judgment on others unless you have all the facts on that case. In considering my post I did make certain assumptions about justvic. One assumption is that she was telling the truth. When you think about it, how dangerous can this guy be if all he got was 7 years of probation? One would think that a truly dangerous criminal, one who viciously raped and battered a 17 year old girl, would get prison time. It would seem in this case, and in others I’ve seen, that either the prosecutor offered a plea and the offender took it to avoid prison or the defense offered a plea and the prosecutor accepted. Now, if this guy is really dangerous, that prosecutor should have his/her head examined. But people don’t think about all that do they? Nope, they tend to shoot first and ask questions later. Just like an old-fashioned vigilante party. How advanced we have become.

Now for justvic. Some places for you to start finding answers would be to check the sentence record. I would recommend going to the court where he was sentenced and obtain copies of the file. It is a matter of public record and the clerk can help you with that. There will most likely be a fee for copying. His sentence will outline all conditions of his probation. Do not rely on what his PO says, find out for yourself because more often than not the PO is overworked and underpaid. This is not a situation that makes it conducive for him/her to “help” the offenders that he/she views as the scum of the earth. Getting a copy of the case file will also put your mind at ease as to whether or not he is telling the truth, if that is a concern of yours. In my estimation, as long as he is not restricted from being around children in a living condition as a part of his sentence then it is perfectly legal for him to be there. There are other things you can do, but his case file would be a good place to start.

I hope you all have a good day! ;)
 

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