Trying to help a friend get clean.

[sunshinee48]

What is the name of your state? PA
I have gotten to know someone who has had 2 past DUI's and was on house arrest when I met him. He is currently in jail for a parole violation but decided to volunteer for rehab in there after getting to know me. I have been writing to him regularily. He has finished his program and wants to change his life around. I care about him enough to want to help him all I can. He is in a different county then where I live. I am offering him a place to stay, will become his partner in AA and give him an alcohol and drug free lifestyle. What are the chances of the probation office allowing him to live in a different county and transfering the parole? He is being released on Nov 26th but has been told no stipulations of his release other than the letter from the judge of early release of one month and that he must continue Alcohol and Drug meetings. He has been assigned a parole officer but even the letter from him did not say anything about him staying in the county and he just got that letter yesterday. He only has 10 days til his release. I have done research on him and he is a good man, who took some wrong paths. He deserves the chance to fix his life and really truly wants to. He is going to call the parole office tomorrow because the PO has him reporting to him 2 days before his release (Duh!) and will tell him then of our hopes. My brother is a police officer which will help the situation. This guy wants this life bad now. What more can I do to help him? He has limited access to phones in there.

 

[calatty]

The prisons are full of good men who took wrong paths. You are naive if you think all he needs is you to turn his life around. The best thing you can do to help him is let him get himself together and then be there for him when he is done. Otherwise you are in for a lot of heartache.

 

[sunshinee48]

I appreciate your honesty with me calatty, but I beg to differ with you. Yes there are men who are good that has taken a wrong path, and did you ever think that maybe these men took these paths because no one believed in them or taught them to believe in themselves? That's why they have AA and NA to help these men change their lives. Why bother having any programs at all if they were all gonna fail at it. I am not a young girl and neither is he. We are both 48 years old. I have talked to enough people that know this man to know that he IS a good man who became alcoholic over a failed marriage and an aborted baby that he wanted to have. He never got into any trouble with the law until he was 40 years old. I have gotten the answer to my question here on my own, but I'm glad you took the time to respond. Have you ever read the story on June and Johnny Cash. You should. If we all walked away from those who have problems and threw them in the gutter and didn't support them, then we might not have half of the role models we do now. The world is not made of perfect people. I am not naive at all. Researching opens up the mind and the heart to new possibilities for everyone.

 

[calatty]

All I can say is, been there, done that. I have been working with the criminal justice system for 20 years and have seen countless women get burned, all thinking their case/man was different and an exception to the rule. I hope you are right. Good luck.

 

[sunshinee48]

I appreciate what you are saying especially with you working in the field for so long. I am going at this with the idea that I have nothing to lose except some embarassment if it doesn't work out. I have to ask you this since you have been doing this for 20 years. Have you ever seen a case that turned out good? Well, I hope I am one of those few. I have never been one to categorize people. I try to give everyone a fair chance. He will NOT get any money from me, nor my home. He has absolutely no history of violence and in fact he would give anything to anyone if it would make them happy before himself. I can understand your attitude because of what you seen and I appreciate your forwarnings. Thanx!