not sure if I can do anything

From Michigan here.

My mom had a stroke two and a half years ago when she was 54.
My father needed someone to take care of her so I told him I would do it, because he couldn't afford a nursing home. So I didn't go to college like I was planing to. We made an agreement that he would pay me for my services, I took a short course in nursing care so I would know what to do and I have been taking care of her ever sence.
Because of it being hard on my daughter to have to wake up at 4 in the morning to go to my parents house with me, and because after working 14 hours a day I didnt have the energy to do any house work at my own house, I moved my mom to my house to make things easier on us all. It also helped my dad because he didnt have to wake up in the middle of the night to take care of my mom.
But the problem is my dad dose not pay me enough. He was layed off for a while and I received no money at all for about 5 months and this is about the 4th time this has happened sence I have worked for him. My husband works but it is no where near the ammount we need to live off of. My dad is in debt to me about 12,000 dollars. And he keeps stalling to pay me. He pays me a weekly wage right now because he is working, but it is only 200 and sometimes it is nothing. I dont want to be greedy I know he has bills to and I am working for him to help my mom and him out, but I cant even keep my utility bills paid and sometimes we eat romen noodles for dinner because we cant afford food. He owns two houses and has the money to get a loan for my sisters car ( who dosen't help with my mom at all). But he says he can't pay me. My mom has a trust fund and he asked them to pay me what he ows me but they wouldn't do it. They said they would only pay for things in the present. So my dad asked them to pay me 400 a week but they also refused to do this saying it had to be financial distress or a medical emergency. My dad said he was going to contest this but that was a month ago. If he were to contest it I know that they would pay, But he is more worried about his bills and his taxes than getting me the money that he is soposed to pay. And in the past month my car broke down and is now gone, my husband lost his job, our bills were allready backed up and now we have shutoff notices and for somereason my dad dosent seem to care. I have taked to him but he stalls to get anything done. I dont want to take him to court but this is just too much. I am only 21, I have a daughter and one on the way, I am going to college in august( three years late) And I am so broke I cant buy a lightbulb. I have helped them out isnt it time they returned the favor?
Is there anything I can do? Sorry this is so long.

You know, I've been struggling with this post for the last 1/2 an hour - I wasn't going to post, but after re-reading yours, I just have to make a couple of comments.

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation - and even sorrier for your mother because she was (and is) young to have to have a full time caregiver ... BUT ... and a big BUT here ...

Your statement of: "I have helped them out isnt it time they returned the favor?" is really bothering the crap outta me. This is your mother - let's not even put your father into the equation - who gave birth to you, kept food on the table and a roof over your head ... now when she is incapacitated you're looking upon the situation as doing them a "favor."

If your mother has a trust, why not move her back in with your father ... which is where I'm sure she'd rather be ... and have disbursements from the trust pay for a private duty nurse? You can go back to work and get your families head above water and your mother will probably be in a much better situation as well - because I can bet she's probably thinking of herself as a huge burden. (Not the way I would like to live out my golden years for sure.)

And you say your father is in debt to you for around $12K? I'm sure if he totalled up all the money it took HIM to raise YOU, you would actually be the one owing HIM.

C'mon now Holly - Here's a young girl struggling to keep her family together. I don't think her own family should fall apart because she "owes" her mom.

She has done quite a bit for both her parents and has got nothing in return, even though her father can afford to help her.

Dad owes Mom a helluva lot more than the daughter does.

Apparently Dad doesn't care, he's content to let this young daughter take on the whole load.

I don't know what can be done, but if Dad didn't help out with the costs of caring for HIS WIFE, I'd sue his @ss!

I'd be proud to have a daughter like this girl.

I only wish I could help her with some good advice. Obviously you can't.

Actually, I did give her some advice - moving her mom back in with her father and having the trust pay for private duty nursing.

But there are some holes and verbage in the story that just don't sit well with me. $12K in debt for 2 1/2 years - so that would mean that their agreement was for $400 a week and he's paid nothing. Or maybe like she says, he's been laid off for 4 months - for the 5th time - that would make it 20 months he hasn't been able to pay. At $400 per week that would bring the total debt to: $8K.

And she's planning to attend school in August - who will be taking care of her mother then?

Granted, I was a bit harsh - so point taken. But methinks there's more to the story than it appears.

Thank you, "Broke & Stuck" for being a kind-hearted person to help with your mother's care. However, they are taking advantage of you and it is time for it to stop.

Please post this message on the FAMILY LAW section of FREEADVICE.COM to see if an attorney experienced in family law can advise you. What your mother needs is a caregiver (and she also needs to live elsewhere) and you need to speak with someone in your city (a nurse, or home health care agency, or social services agency, etc.) to find out how she can hire a caregiver and what local hospices or living facilities would be available to take her in.

My heart goes out to you--there is no way in the world that you and your husband should be experiencing financial difficulties if your parents had kept up their end of the original agreement. Do you have any idea of how much money is in your mother's trust fund? Is it really true that the trustees refused to compensate you or is that just what your father told you? You need to look at the original trust document to see what type of expenses are allowed. You need to inform your mother that there is no where on earth where they will let you live for free. You should have been allowed to be paid the same rate as home health caregivers in your area get, since you are doing the same job (and you need to find out what that local rate is) and it is odd that the trustees refused your request for payment--but you didn't make an official request, you just asked your father to do it, and that is not the same thing. You need to submit an official bill (for the monies owed to you) to the trust.

At the very least, get a signed statement from your father that verifies the amount of money he owes you so that if he dies unexpectedly, you can collect all or a portion of that money from his estate.

If you tell your mother you are planning to return to college, then it is certain she will need to make other arrangements. Be firm in standing up for your rights so they won't continue to take advantage of you.

Congratulations on having the determination to pursue your college education!

DANDY DON

Thank you for your responses.
And just to let Holly know the reason my dad owes me 12 and not 8 like the math would seem to add up too is because I took a pay cut because he said he couldnt afford the ammount he owes me. Also I was working 14 to 16 hour days so It was more than 400 a week. And the reason the trust wont pay is because all the money is in stocks and bonds. The bank that holds the trust uses the money for there own investments and are not exactly rushing to give up the money. In order for them to pay me they would have to sell off some of the stocks. Also they wont pay because according to them this is not a medical emergency. This is a 2 year old thing so they are reluctant to pay. And they wont pay a nurse or a nursing home to care for my mom either. My mom was in one for the first month after her stroke and my dad had to pay out of his own pocket and that was way more than he pays me. Also my mom dose not want to live with my dad at his house. She feels more comfortable over here, she likes being in my daughters life and she loves my dog so she dosent want to move. Also my dad isnt a neat freak and his house is so disorganized that he has tools and car crap in the damn kitchen.
And sence she is my mom and I love her I am not going to put her somewhere she dosent want to be.
You have to understand I am stuck I love my parents but I am 21 and I have a family of my own I need to be able to do what is best for my family without ripping apart my relationship with my parents. And even though my parent took care of my for 16 years and paid for everything and did what parents do I still see what I am doing as a favor to them because I really dont have to do this I could be like my sister and just let them deal with it by themselves. I could tell my dad he has to retire and take care of mom but that would just make things harder on them.
So thanks for the advice I wish I could totaly explaine everything but I would have to wright a book. Oh and yes I have seen the letters from the trust fund so I know my dad isnt lieing about trying to get the money, he is just taking his sweet@ss time in doing it.And he isnt going about it in the right way either but he wont listen to me or anyone else so i dont know what to do.
Thanks