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Divorce, Adultery, and custody

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chickenman

Guest
What is the name of your state? Indiana
I found out that my wife was having an internet affair with two other married men. She had an actual physical affair with someone 5 years ago. I have copies of all the letters. I want her to leave, and I want to get a divorce. She says she'll never leave without our five children, ages 10-17. I do not want to part with them, and do not feel she should be able to do what she did, and still get custody, child support, etc. Do I have any options?I really do not want to remain married to her, but I do not want to lose my children, and since the state of Indiana is a "no-fault" state, what chance to I have of winning?
 


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grandpabri

Guest
Your getting the children depends on a number of factors, none of which is her having affairs.

Affairs are not a factor in themselves, but you might get some traction if you can show that she is always gone and you are providing all or most of the care for the children. This takes good documentation.

I was able to do it, but it is hard. Good Luck
 
D

dorenephilpot

Guest
In Indiana, in a new divorce, in order to get custody, you just have to prove that you're slightly better than her as a parent.

You do not have to prove her unfit. If you went for a modification of custody years down that road, THAT'S when the unfit standard comes into play.

Adultery doesn't matter in the eyes of the court -- unless she was neglecting the kids to spend time w/her paramours OR she was doing the horizontal mambo with them in front of the kids.

Dads have as good a chance of winning custody as moms do in Indiana.

Usually the parties come to some kind of agreement on custody being with mom. But when dads fight for custody, there's usually a very good reason and they stand a very good chance of winning.

Something you should know: A custody fight is expensive and heart-wrenching for everyone. Do some soul-searching and be sure that you're doing it for the right reasons (the best interests of the children), not for revenge because you want to hurt your unfaithful wife.

Hope this helps.
 
C

chickenman

Guest
Adultery, child custody

Dorene,
Thank you so much for the advice. I live in Parke County, IN. which is about 70 due straight west of Indy.
I have been so frustrated trying to decide what to do. I wanted to work things out, and I've tried to be understanding with her. However, she continues to "see" these other people, and when confronted, she tells me "If I don't like it, then I need to make a decision, cause I'm doing the best I can". I'm a Christian husband, and I know I've forgiven her beyond what most husbands would, but I'm at the end of my limits.
Of late, my only reason for staying in this marriage was due to the fear I'd not be able to win custody of our 5 children. She has been a good mom, but she is unstable in her thinking, and even less so in her financial decisions. She recently wrote 57 checks without registering them, (all bounced), and since 5/6, we've been accessed over $2000.00 in OD fees alone!
We were separated 5 years ago, and while we were she was seeing someone then too. They may not have been doing the "horizontal mambo" in front of our kids, but they did everything else. The kids were telling me everything that went on in their house.
If we get a divorce, I don't believe it's in their best interest to watch their mom enter in to another loose relationship, make emotion based decisions concerning their welfare, and take what little money I would be able to send her and blow it on frivolous
items that have little benefit to them. As mad as I am at her for what she's done to our family, I sincerely believe the kids would be better off with me.
If you have time to respond, I would greatly appreciate your help and/or advice.
Please email me at [email protected]
 

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