domestic violence

What is the name of your state? Nevada.
Can I press charges against my ex-husband for assault & battery after we've been divorced for a year? I have event numbers and a TPO, but he was never arrested or prosecuted. I am currently undergoing reconstructive surgery on my jaw and needed a bone graft from 2 years of physical abuse.

It depends on the statue of limitations in your municipality. The date of your divorce isn't pertinent - it's the date when the assault took place.

You can most certainly file a complaint with the police and/or talk to the district attorney's office and see if you can press charges and whether they will prosecute. It certainly sounds as though you have ample physical evidence of his abuse. (And good for you for getting this person out of your life - it can't have been easy.) You may also want to speak to an attorney about filing a civil suit. That's a different matter entirely than pursing criminal charges (you can do both, by the way.) Good luck.

laborcopii said:

What is the name of your state? Nevada.
Can I press charges against my ex-husband for assault & battery after we've been divorced for a year? I have event numbers and a TPO, but he was never arrested or prosecuted. I am currently undergoing reconstructive surgery on my jaw and needed a bone graft from 2 years of physical abuse.

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No. You should had pressed charges once he assaulted you, but you didn't do that yet. It is too late for you to press charges on your ex husband.

Combat

CombatTN88 said:

No. You should had pressed charges once he assaulted you, but you didn't do that yet. It is too late for you to press charges on your ex husband. You are so whore.

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Where in the hell do you have the right to call anyone such a awful name ????? did you ever stop to think that maybe the OP was scared to press charges at the time for fear of further being abused. I have lived the life of being the victim of such abuse and unless you have also. you have no right to say such comments to somebody who has. do you know what it's like to be beating so badly by someone who is suppose to love you. I do my ex beat me so bad that over a period of 6 years he broke my nose twice, put me in the hospiital when i was pregnent with both of our girls. threw me out of a moving car, kicked me so hard that he ruptured my bowel, tried to shoot me, staped me, and the list goes on. so you are way out of line here and have no clue as you never do about what your talking about. Kathie

Re: Combat

knorris72142 said:

Where in the hell do you have the right to call anyone such a awful name ????? did you ever stop to think that maybe the OP was scared to press charges at the time for fear of further being abused. I have lived the life of being the victim of such abuse and unless you have also. you have no right to say such comments to somebody who has. do you know what it's like to be beating so badly by someone who is suppose to love you. I do my ex beat me so bad that over a period of 6 years he broke my nose twice, put me in the hospiital when i was pregnent with both of our girls. threw me out of a moving car, kicked me so hard that he ruptured my bowel, tried to shoot me, staped me, and the list goes on. so you are way out of line here and have no clue as you never do about what your talking about. Kathie

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I have seen many young women married quickly to men especially in their enlisted military years. I had seen how many enlisted men beat up their wives. I am symanthlity for you. I just hated for women being blinded to men. I would take a revenge on those abusers whom touched a woman.

Re: Re: Combat

CombatTN88 said:

I have seen many young women married quickly to men especially in their enlisted military years. I had seen how many enlisted men beat up their wives. I am symanthlity for you. I just hated for women being blinded to men. I would take a revenge on those abusers whom touched a woman.

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maybe I misunderstood what you were saying and I see now that part of you replie was edited. I don't see what the point was in calling her something so awful. I grew up in a military family [ air force brat ] and I agree there are alot of enlisted men and men everywhere that abuse their spouse's. I also have a good male freind that is physically abused by his wife but wont do anything about it because he's worried about what people would say. I'm not trying to be rude so please do not take it that way. I just couldn't believe what I was reading. Kathie

Nevada.
Thank you for your reply Beth3. You are the first one to say something kind to me since 1999.
What kind of civil suit? Lawyers suggest the criminal case would be too expensive and devastating on my children.

laborcopii

laborcopii said:

Nevada.
Thank you for your reply Beth3. You are the first one to say something kind to me since 1999.
What kind of civil suit? Lawyers suggest the criminal case would be too expensive and devastating on my children.

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Sorry I didn't have an answer for you. I was so shocked by combats reply that I saw red and completly forgot what your question was. I hope you do still have a chance to make your ex pay for what he has done to you. as you can read in my reply I have lived through it myself. sorry I can't be of anymore help. Best of luck and I hope you have a happy future. Kathie

laborcopii, you will really need to speak to an attorney about that. I expect you can sue for actual damages (medical expenses) as well as pain and suffering and possibly other damages as well.

Might I suggest you contact your area's Domestic Violence crisis and counseling center? All larger cities and most counties have one and if yours doesn't, a neighboring one very likely will. Not only can they provide the support you and your children need (both practical as well as emotional support and counseling), they can also provide you with a list of attornies who have expertise assisting victims of DV. Many of those attornies work will provide help on a sliding fee scale and will be much more knowledgeable on DV laws and legal precedents than a general practice attorney.

Good luck and best wishes to you and your family.

Post-War Syndrome

Nevada.
Combat:
Your posted reply to my question was censored. But, I saw the "whore" comment when it was quoted by knorris.
The good thing about people like you is NOTHING. Keep your "short-comings" to yourself.

P.S. Combat

Nevada.
P.S. Combat
I knew this man for over 30 years. We were married during his entire 22-year USAF military career. I learned this lesson as a dependent wife...
Once men retire from the military (the war), they no longer fear the government choke-hold on their discipline or conduct; and ususally die, or lose their mind. They are use to giving orders, and cannot survive as a civilian... that's why you can set your watch by the time they start referring to themselves as veterans. It also doesn't help if you retire during a mid-life crisis either. Regardless-- now I am the P.O.W. Wake up and smell the Napalm.

Re: Post-War Syndrome

laborcopii said:

Nevada.
Combat:
Your posted reply to my question was censored. But, I saw the "whore" comment when it was quoted by knorris.
The good thing about people like you is NOTHING. Keep your "short-comings" to yourself.

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laborcopii
I'm sorry that you had to read that in my reply after it had been edited. Kathie

KathieB

Nevada.
KathieB:
I've never been one to "kill the messenger." I always try to consider the source. Thanks for the wake-up call... Good luck with your situation as well.

. I learned this lesson as a dependent wife...

Laborcopii:

That comment is at the ROOT of abuse, the vast majority of women are dependant on the man.

The femininsts will not do a study on how many 2 full time income families there is serious abuse becuse it will show that when a woman has the MONEY to leave she will.

When women CHOOSE to give up their jobs, or give up their seperate bank/ checking credit cards becuase they are irresponsible with money, and then have more kids then they can afford, it increases exponentially the chances of abuse.

Michael - it appears your intentions are good but your information is a little short on facts and appears to blame the victims.

Most abused women don't CHOOSE to give up their jobs - they're forced to do so by their abuser. And yes, while having the financial resources to leave an abusive relationship makes it easier, it's only one issue. Abusers so isolate their partners and undermine their self-esteem, victims of DV usually end up feeling that they deserve the emotional and/or physical abuse they're receiving. Abusers are skillful at making their victims feel the abuse is the victim's fault and that they're isolated from family and friends and thus have no support system.

The vast majority of women are not dependent upon men, any more than men are dependent upon women. In most relationships, it's a mutual decision to be together. As far as your statement about women giving up separate bank accounts because they're irresponsible with money, I don't even know where to begin. I can tell you that there's no way an abuser would allow his victim to have her own source of money - he wants her entirely dependent upon him.

And lastly, just so this doesn't seem one-sided, unfortunately there are a good number of men who are abused physically and emotionally by their wives or partners - most of which goes unreported.

In case you're wondering about my credentials to speak to this topic, I served on the Board or Directors for my community's domestic violence crisis and counseling center for eight years.