Please help me and my child get out

I am in rhode island, been married for 4 years together for almost 10 years.... I am in a marrige with a controlling husband, and I need out and no one will help me. I am not allowed friends so i have none my family is all deceased. I have a 9 year old daughter... I have had several jobs and everyone he has either made me quit or quit for me because he says it interfers with his schedual. I am smart and able to work. He is constantly degrading me a saying awful things about me and to my daughter. I am not allowed to even food shop anymore and I am left with sometimes 10 dollars for the week. My daughter vocalized last yr in school she was scared of her father and how he always yelled at me and even her at times. he is always vocalizing how much he hates woman. He has told me infront of my daughter, if you think you are getting my kid make it good because Ill take you on the street and shoot you with a gun. He is constantly threatening me with stuff. He always says how much he hates me and woman in general infront of my daughter. If we go out me and my daughter we rush home and get scared because we know we are going to get an attitude.I hate him so much. He threatens all the time I will lose my daughter and that would kill me ... We have two houses free and clear both were pre marital both in just his name..........House insurance is in both our names......any lawyer that i talk to says I get NOTHING at all. No Lawyer will help me because I am not employeed. I called the Bar association as well for a volunteer lawyer and was told id have to get a restraining order ONLY if he hits me and go live in a shelter which i refuse to do because i have no family or friends here to get out. Also legal aid is a 5 yr waiting list and I cant wait that long. The only friends I have live out of state in Pennsylvania where i could start a new life and get a great job. I am so so desperate because i have spend all week on the phone with lawyers who have all turned their backs on me and i have pleaded and i have cried and i had a few hang up on me. I am so desperate I am ready to take my child and go to PA and leave this state. My home life is so so bad and I am so so unhappy. Where do I stand what can I do... WHy cant I get help, this is why some woman just take off now i know first hand I am so ready. please please help me....and my daughter. I dont want her growing up thinking this is right that mom sleeps upstairs and dad sleeps downstairs in the den and it is right with all this verbal abuse... Please help us I am so desperate and ready to run

move quietly and swiftly

A friend of mine went to stay at a battered womens shelter with her two kids. they do not tell your husband where you are so you are safe once youre there. They helped her over time to get a car, a place to live and a job. If your husband has threatened you then you can get a restraining order. The shelter she stayed at was in a diifferent town from her x. If you are considering pennsilvania see if they have some shelters in a town where you are considering. You might feel more protected in a shelter than with a friend or relative. The shelters are also resourcefull on getting you the financial help to get you on your feet. As far as not getting anything after a divorce well, if it is true then at least you have your sanity and can live a life without so much negativity. You never know what the possabilities for your life are if you stay in a supressed situation.

Get away now !!

I have lived through your situation and you must leave while you can. I left my ex and took my three children to a shelter and it was the smartest move I ever made. plus it was tha safest I had felt in years and the people at the shelter were so helpful. they helped me with everything I had feared. finding a job and safe child care and getting back on my own. they even helped me with getting through court to get a divorce and custody of my children. I found a whole list of shelters but all refered back to these two numbers as 24 hr emergency contact. so I am sure if you call they can help you locate one that you would be able to get to. Rhode Island coalition against Domestic Violence 24 hr hot line
1-800-494-8100. or Safelink 1-877-785-2020 this number can help you relocate away from your area and is sometimes the safer thing to do.you should have a plan as to when you could safely take your child and leave without your spouse walking in in the middle of you trying to leave. If you don't get help from these numbers let me know and I'll e-mail you these others from the way I read the list you could make contact through this 800 number. good luck and be safe. Kathie
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