Is it legally considered adultry??

What is the name of your state? Arizona

My husband has online affairs...i dont have proof that he has ever been physical with any of these women...but i do have much proof of what goes on online with them...he tells them he is single...has signed up for dating websites looking for casual sexual encounters and stuff like that...Im tired of it and want a divorce...but i know he wont go quietly into the nite...and im just wondering...if the law yet sees internet cheating as adultry???

cryket said:

What is the name of your state? Arizona

My husband has online affairs...i dont have proof that he has ever been physical with any of these women...but i do have much proof of what goes on online with them...he tells them he is single...has signed up for dating websites looking for casual sexual encounters and stuff like that...Im tired of it and want a divorce...but i know he wont go quietly into the nite...and im just wondering...if the law yet sees internet cheating as adultry???

Click to expand...

My response:

Simple answer - -

No, and undoubtedly never will. Otherwise, we could call looking at magazines, adult movies, going to "strip clubs", etc., as "adultery" too. Now, if you want to even take this a step further, we could call mental fantasies "adultery" too.

In summary, his dealings in the fantasy world of the Internet, and a dime, still won't get you anywhere insofar as "grounds" are concerned.

IAAL

File for divorce on the grounds of mental cruelty, if fault is required in Arizona. If no fault required, what the H*** are you waiting for?

if you want to play a trick on him, respond to one of his personal ads and lead him along to meet you at a bar. then when he is there serve him with the divorce papers. dont forget to pour his drink over his head.

My response:

Arizona, like California, is a "pure" no-fault dissolution of marriage State. So, our writer doesn't needs "grounds" like mental cruelty.

What she needs, however, is to get her own computer with lots of nude men, and chat room, sites.

IAAL

hhhmm i like the idea about the bar thing....only...well...im not willing to wait that long..lol...

as for a no fault divorce...isnt that that both parties agree the marriage is over or non fixable...cause he seems to think that is not the case....when he gets caught at least...he wants to fight to make things beter...for about 2 mos...then goes back and does this all again....

and also i have kids...so im not sure how that will work either....its all so confusing...and i have no clue what half this legal mumbo jumbo is....

but thanks for the replies....

You need to consult with a divorce attorney.

play the trick.

I know someone who also had this problem. she started talking to her husband under a new I.D and he fell for it. and when she confronted him with the proof [ printed e-mails ect..] he left very quick. Kathie

no fault divorce means either party can file for divorce and end the marriage. You dont need your hubby to agree to the divorce, you just do it.

Since kids are involved (are they his?) you definitely need to consult with a divorce attorney.

OR, just get rid of the computer.

Why should i have to give up the computer...for a habit and other things that he refuses to change....our marriage should be worth more to him...then an online fling...plus...like i said...i dont have proof...but i do think there is physical relations going offline with these women...as a few of them live just blocks from us...so getting rid of the puter wont stop that....

empathize!!

Illinois. I know kind of what your going through. Sometime last year, we got a computer. One day I go on line and all of these pop ups come up. Live web-cams, ect,ect. Anyway, I kicked my husband out for a length of time. I also have children, 3. I was promised it would never happen again, we even went to a counsler. Well it happened a second and third time. He is at his mothers now and the only thing he is concerned with is his van. Both the second and third time it happened he lied to me about it. The first time shame on him, the second and third time shame on me, right. But this is my second marriage and I wanted so bad to make it work. Some of you may have seen me post regarding me ex already. Talk about a double whammy!! He hasn't had affairs yet but he put alot of effort in deleting the sites he was looking at before I came home, so who knows how long it would have been before he put a lot of effort into meeting one of these ladies. However, the deceipt is on the same level. Hang in there!!

forgot

I forgot to mention this, check with the state law, however if you still have the hard drive to the computer, you can get dates and times he has been chatting with these ladies, and if any of the dates and times were when your children were around, you can claim child abuse or child endangerment, something like those should apply. Especially if there was sexual content in the chatting. Just something to help sort out thoughts or idea's. All the legal talk can be confusing I know.

Well....this for me is about time #5...online at least....the first two times...he played his little games...were with women in the flesh...which is why after all these years...im not sure i believe him anymore....when he swears there was nothing between them...cause he swore to me over and over now...this would never happen again...and yet...it has...over and over...yes i know...as you said...first time shame on him...second...shame on me...and the third fourth and fifth...

as for the child issue...i know he doesnt do it with the kids around...cause he waits till im in bed to get on and do the dirty stuff....i only know about it through tricks and programs i have on the computer...that let me know who hes chatting with and stuff like that...even one...that gives me every word of his private converstations....but even with that...i think he may have figured that one out...and is deleting them before i get to them...

i dont want to hurt him...i dont want to use the kids...i just want out...and im learning in arizona...that if there is kids involved..its just not that easy...specially if one person contests the divorce...they will make us seek counseling...(even though we have tried) take parenting classes and stuff like that...and thats stuff i just cant stick around for...cause it just gives him more time to sucker me into staying again...and i wont sit around and be bullied again....

ok...so i think im done now..lol...but anyhow..thanks for the advice...im checking out my states laws as much as i can...but its all still very confusing....thanks again....cryket

He lies, cheats, possibly puts you at risk for STDs, yet you love him and dont want to hurt him! Just because he nice every now and then doesnt negate the emotional separation and possibly physical risk he directs at you.

Grow up!!!!!!! Why should he change? You havent done anything to make him change. Whining and moaning about how he breaks promises but you still stay with him tells us that you really dont want anything to change.

Go to an attorney, file for divorce and custody of the kids. Let him contest it. You know sometimes the right things to do are difficult to accomplish. Just because it wont be easy doesnt mean you raise your kids in a sham marriage with a guy you dont respect or love (I doubt you love him, but it sounds nice to say you do)

Well even if it was harsh...i do understand what you are saying....yes...i HAVE stayed with him...hoping...that he would change...but i also do realize he wont...but....things like this are not free...they are not cheap and they are not easy...and if you arent CAREFULL...you can get screwed in the long run...and im just trying to make sure that doesnt happen to me...there are things that i need...in order to leave...money....a place to stay...and a way to raise my kids till i can get on my own two feet....all of which i cant do in this state...with no support or family...

and no...your right...i dont love him...at least not the way i did when i married him...i will ALWAYS love him in a small way...because i did once...and he is the father of my two beautiful kids who i will never regret having with him....but so many people make leaving sound like its just something you do....in my case....its not just ME i have to think about its them too...so i think making sure this is easy as possible for them....as well as for me...isnt being childish....its being an adult....and thinking about others...AS WELL as myself...

but like i said...thanks for the advice....