can i stop this adoption?? please help!!

What is the name of your state? tn. i recently received papers stating that my ex-in-laws have filed a petition to adopt my children. they said that i abandoned them and did not contact them for at least 4 months and this is so untrue. they would not let me see them. they have custody of them right now, and there has never been a problem with visitation, they came anytime they wanted to and usually stayed as long as they wanted. i think the problem is that i recently divorced(not from their father) and my ex-husband told me he would do everything in his power to make sure i never say my children again. in fact, he had my ex-father-inlaw in court with him for our divorce. ex-husband hated him while we were married!! can they do this? the childrens father has already consented to this adoption because it is his parents. i lost my job while going thru the divorce because i missed too many days in court and my grandmother passed away at the same time. i have no money for another lawyer as i just paid out almost $2000 for the divorce and i don't have a job now. what can i do to stop this. i will never give my children up and i am desperate right now for a little hope. i probably left out info that someone will need to give advise, so just ask and i will try to explain anything you need to know. please, please someone i need some advise!!!!!!

You have an uphill battle here -- the courts tend to want to put the kids where they're better off.

First, ask yourself honestly: What is my motivation here?

1. Do you truly think the kids are better off with you, financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually? If so, fight the adoption. To do this, you must file some paperwork with the court to oppose the adoption.

If you are SINCERE about getting your child back and are willing to do what it takes to get them back, you must, must, must get your s--- together and keep it together.

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, get a job, suitable housing and become the responsible adult that you needed to be all along in order to raise your children.

Get yourself to your state's legal aid service and get a lawyer. This is not a fight that you can win by yourself, most likely.

If you are unable or unwilling to do these things or you believe that there are 4 billion reasons that you simply cannot or will not do this, then your children are probably better off with your relatives, anyway.

2. If you are instead motivated primarily by your opposition to someone else adopting your kids because of what that says about you as a parent and as a person, then let them go.

You really need to do some honest soul-searching here.

Sorry if I hurt your feelings in any way with this advice, but these are really your only two options here.

Best of luck to you!

First of all, no you did not hurt my feelings, i appreciate your advise, and secondly my motivation is strictly in the sincerest consideration for my children. emotionaly, physically, spiritually they are better off with me,i'm their mother.financially, right now they are better off with my ex-in-laws(not my relatives). i am looking for a job and i am eligible for unemployment until i can find work. my children are with my ex-in-laws right now because it is in the best interest for them, right now, but that doesn't mean i should lose parental rights and never be allowed to see my children again. i pay child support and i am there whenever they need me. i've always spent quality time with them, took them on vacation in the summer and tried in every way to show them the love and support they need. my youngest son actually wants to come and live with me right now.i admit i have been irresponsible in the past, but i have got my sh-t somewhat together and am trying very hard to get it the rest of the way together. you said i had to file some kind of paperwork with the court, what do i file and how do i get it to file it? can i at least file this paperwork on my own until i can get representation?words do not hurt me anymore so any advise or comments are welcome.

call legal aid and get an appointment they should be able to help you. How many children do you have? How did the ex inlaws get custody to begin with you? These are all things that are going to come up so you need to not only have the right words but be able to show how things have changed. Are they still letting you see the kids?

thanks, have you ever heard of small town politics? our city was actually featured in soldier of fortune magazine because of the corruption in our town. my ex-inlaws got custody of my children because my ex-husbands grandfather was one of the judges in our town!!!!! his aunt is still the county trustee, and my ex-father-in law was on the school board. i am not a criminal,i've never been convicted of anything, or never been in any trouble, other than a few late payments on child support(only when laid-off from work). my ex-husband(the people that have my children, their son) would beat the sh*t out of me all the time. he has broke my ribs, my nose at least 3 times, and so many bruises i couldn't begin to count, held a gun to my head and threatened to shoot, then took the butt of the gun and hit me with it. when he told me he was going to kill me and i saw death in his eyes, i had no choice but to leave. inever left my children alone with him and i always took them if things escalated and i had to go. my kids were never in the worst parts and i take full responsibility for allowing them to be in any part of it, thus they aren't with me, but i never allowed any harm to come to them(other than emotionally)and i regret that everyday. i just don't think i should never be allowed to see them ever again, because of my stupidity for staying in an abusive relationship. i'm not around it any more and i'm doing "almost " the best i can. i know i could probably do better. i am working on that as well. thanks for your response.