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Step Parent Adoption

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H

horsinaround02

Guest
What is the name of your state? Colorado
I read most of the adoption postings, and I saw a few things on step parent adoption. My husband and I were married 4 years ago. I left a very abusive relationship with my 4 kids. He had 2 kids. 1 year after we were married, he adopted my 4, and I adopted his 2. The parents of each set had not paid any child support for ages. The 2 children's mother had not paid anything from the time that they were 2 months old and left her home with their father. They were 18 months old when they moved in, and 2 1/2 when I adopted them. She refused to hold, change, feed them. He moved out with them and moved to another state. She was served papers to come to the custody hearing and she didn't even show up. When we went to adopt each other kids, my ex had not paid child support for 18 months, and had fled the state for a felony fraud and theft warrant with his new wife and her son. We attempted to contact each parent. My husband's ex didn't respond, my ex couldn't be found even by social services who were trying to get child support out of him. So, we published in the paper and completed the adoption in November 1999.

1/2 year later my ex showed up at my son's school and attempted to remove one of them from the school. He was then informed of the adoption and he wrote to the court and said we had done it illegally because we had not attempted to contact him. His wife sent letter after letter to the judge. We had completed the adoptions ourselves, with help from legal aide. The judge had the nerve to say that we had posted the wrong thing in the newspaper, and that there was no evidence that we had attempted to have him served. That was a total lie, because we had printed in the newspaper what the court instructed us to, and provided proof that he could not be found with a letter from social services and a returned service for him that showed there was no forwarding address.

Anyhow, the judge told him that he could appeal it if he wanted to, but would have to prove that I had performed fraud, and he would have to prove that it was in the best interest of the children, and would have to pay all back child support which was over $24000 at that time. He never did anything. That was 2 years ago. Now, his current wife is divorcing him and trying to keep him away from her daughter with him, and he is claiming he is going to have our adoption over turned. Thank goodness the statute of limitations is over, because my kids don't need to go through that. He only comes around to terrorize me, or make me feel bad or scared. He doesn't care about them, has never sent cards, gifts, or made phone calls, even when he only lived 10 miles from us.

My husbands ex last week sent cards to us and his daughters saying she has done years of healing and wants to have a relationship with them, and how she is their mommy. That made me so angry. She has not seen, called, anything for over 5 years, almost 6 now. She has 5 kids, 4 are adopted, 1 is under guardianship with her mother. She has custody of none, and none have the same father except for the 2 that live with me who are twins. She has kidnapped all 3 of the other kids, and spent time in jail for that. Yet she thinks she can waltz back in and have a realtionship with them. She is a Wiccan, and practices witchcraft daily. She owes over $32000 in child support up to the time of the adoption. What a witch.

So this is my experience with adoption. I am so happy my kids have a great dad, and that I could give his daughters a great mother. But sometimes I just wish that the ex's would get a clue, or drop dead.
 


tigger22472

Senior Member
Did you show the girls the card from their "egg donor"? I know that sounds rough but come on!!! I would let BOTH ex's know that they are NO LONGER a part of that child's life and if they come to your house they are no different then any other stranger and you will get them for tresspassing or harrassment if they call or write anymore. Many people like my ex just like the idea to say they are a parent and as you said doesn't care about the children only at getting even and making your life as difficult as possible. I am at the point in which I'm looking into step-parent adoption for my children. I'm sending the father (who I KNOW the address of, he just acts like he doesn't get things and avoids CSE) the paper work to get a feel of what he'll do. I think he'll consent or at least NOT fight simply because as in your case he will be caught for the over 15,000 he owes in support. Stick to your guns hon!!! My kids have been kicked and treated like crap from their father and only until the last year realized that he has lied to them and the things he's done. I told my children a year and a half ago that the only way they would see him again is if a lawyer, a judge and an ARMY make me and then that's after I'm behind a cell. I wouldn't even let the children know anything of it yet.
 

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