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Husband wants divorce before settlement finalized!

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PinkRose

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What is the name of your state?
I live in New York State. My husband and I have been married for 16 years. We have a 12 year old child. My husband moved out of our apartment just under a year ago, but still pays the bills. He didn't want me to work so I could raise our child & take care of the household. I have been both physically & verbally abused by him, more verbal than physical, but not our child. I am 44 & my husband is 69 and still working. He had several health problems in the past in which I took care of him. We haven't been intimate in the last 4 years. He's had a pending lawsuit which is about to be settled & wants to get a divorce before it's finalized so I don't receive any of that money. Am I entitled to any of it since I was married to him for 16 years? He also says that I am not entitled to alimony or spousal support and if I try to obtain this in court, he will quit his job & retire not to support me & our child. He only gets paid partially on the books. Can he get away with not supporting us? He also wants to take our child & myself off his insurance policies & remove us from his will, so in the event he passes away, we won't get anything. He wants to sign everything over to his 2 daughters from a previous marriage whom he doesn't hardly speak with at all. Will me & our child be able to contest his will if he should do this? One other thing, he wants joint custody over our child that he hardly sees now and lives right down the street from us. He has a past record and served time in jail years ago. Will he be granted joint custody? And being that he still pays the bills (which every chance he gets, he tells me he's going to stop so we get kicked out of the apartment) is he entitled to enter our home whenever he feels like it because he never gave me back the key? Any guidance on these issues would be quite helpful & very much appreciated. Thank you.
 


Don't believe a word he says..

The first rule in divorce is.. never get your legal rights information from your Ex. (!)

He is so full of cr*p I don't know where to begin. For one thing, he has NO right to enter your home just because he either has the key or pays any bills. If he won't stay out, filing a restraining order based on the fact that your fear for your safety, mental and verbal abuse plus lack of privacy will put him in check with the courts. Once you have the restraining order.. then you can call the cops and they'll drag him away for a fine or jail-time. Until then they'll just call it a 'domestic dispute' and ask him to leave for the moment.

Second, if the law suit was begun before the date of your official separation (as stated in your divorce filing), mutual property states (like California, check for NY) declare that all Debst AND Income are mutually owned prior to that date. Just because the judgment on the law-suit and award for compensation doesn't come till after the separation or divorce should not keep you from your half of the money.. especially if you declare it specifically in your upcoming Marital Settlement Agreement. (And if he doesn't pay, you can sue him in a hand's down judgment for Contempt of Court, put a lien/collection on his property/car until the judgment is paid.)

As for Alimony and Support.. you are entitled to BOTH. The court will determine how much, not IF. Even if he quits his job, they can garnish his social security payment, unemployment and even perform collection on his assets.

As for insurance.. the court will MANDATE that he provide medical insurance as part of his responsibilities to provide support, since he is the non-custodial parent.

Only with the Will can he decide where his own, personal, non-mutually owned property go. Anything you two owned before the separation date he has no right to exclude from your children or you, with a will or not, and these items will be divided up in your Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) as well during finalization of the divorce.

When you need information on your rights regarding all these things, get your information from a meeting with the Facilitator at your local County Clerk or Courthouse. There are websites online for your state which should also provide you with detailed info on your state's laws as they apply to divorce.. seek them out. But do NOT take anything that comes from his mouth as anything but further abuse to keep you ignorant of the information that he knows he is unable to fight against in court.
 

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