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help me please

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antoinette1017

Guest
What is the name of your state? new york
I have a 2 year old son that I have raised on my own since he was born. The biological father became very physically abusive very shortly after the baby was born, and I have not seen him since. He had never been financially supportive and I don't want his money. Last I heard of him he was involved in criminal and drug activity. I have no idea where to find him and my future husband who has raised my son would like to adopt him. How can we do that if he is no where to be found. Will the court allow this with out the biological father knowing. Considering everything he has done and the fact that he abandoned us. please help.
 


Seanscott

Member
If paternity has been established, you can ask the court to terminate his parental rights due to abandonment. Every effort will be made to find him, but if he puts up a fight to stop the adoption, he doesn't have much of a chance at all.

If your husband files a petition to adopt (with your consent), that will start the ball rolling on finding the biodad.
 
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antoinette1017

Guest
thanks seanscott help again

seanscott thank you for replying. so what your saying is if the bio dad puts up a fight then stop the adoption proceedings? i am afraid that the courts will not relinquish his paternity rights. that scares me to death. i am currently going to court for legal custody and the judge told mw I have to find him in order to continue my case. i honestly have tried and i can't. don't they take into consideration that he abandoned my son? will i get custody if he can't be found?
 

Seanscott

Member
Sorry, I didn't make myself clear.

If biodad puts up a fight, continue on with the adoption proceedings.

The termination of parental rights laws were put into effect exactly for a situation like yours. With no contact, no visitation, and no support from biodad for 2 years, you have an almost sure win for the adoption.

I've learned a lot about the stepparent adoption process, but I don't know much about custody issues. If biodad wants visitation and/or custody, he will have to explain to the judge why he hasn't been around for 2 years, and why he should get a chance now.

Remember this -- The court will do whatever is in the child's best interest.

Laws vary from state to state, but I cannot believe the adoption would not be approved because you can't find biodad. It may take a while longer, but the best interest of the child is with you & his stepdad.

I'd be willing to bet the rent money that biodad would never answer any court papers if he is found.

Good luck.
 

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