stepparent adoption in california

What is the name of your state? California.

I have filed to adopt my 3 stepchildren. Their biological mother has not paid any support for over 4 years. She aslo has not seen them since January 1999. The last contact was a letter to my husband and me aasking about the kids (June 2001). We have filed the forms for abandonment (Free from Custody and control). The biological mother has been aware of me trying to adopt since October of this year. Our court date is January 24, 2003. On December 2nd of this year, she called the house trying to talk to the kids. She has continued to call every weekend approximately 5 to 6 times each day ( saturday and sunday). She wrote them a letter that we received yesterday, promising to re enter their lives.

Do we legally have to let her talk to them?

Personally, I would not allow her ANY contact until she goes to court and forces you to do so. It's obvious what her plan is. She intends to tell the judge "I've tried to visit & call, but they have shut me out of my children's lives".

She knows the odds are heavily against her if she fights the adoptions. She had her chance to be a good parent and she blew it.

Don't do anything to help her. Tell her to talk to your attorney and leave you alone. Tell her she may be up for contempt & jail time for unpaid support. Her hopes are fading - FAST.

Thanks for your input.

She continues to call every weekend. The kids are not here this weekend so that should keep her from calling 5 or 6 more times.

Today we received a child support check for 184 dollars that states the county received it December 2, 2002. (she owes approx. 34,000 dollars in back support) So I guess she is free from jail time at this point.

We plan on taking the check with us to the citation hearing.

Could this stop the abandment hearings? Or could the judge deny us? The calls, letters and money was all sent AFTER the petitions were filed and she has known for almost 2 months that we were going to file for adoption.

I haven't been able to find any information regarding contact being made after petitions have been filed and we still have a month and a half till the citation hearing.
Help!!!!!

The judge will do whatever is in the children's best interests.

She will have to explain her actions - past & recent. She cannot justify not having called or visited in 2 1/2 years. How is she going to explain her recent behavior? Her actions show that she never thought about the children until you filed for adoption.

I believe the abandonment hearing will continue as planned. You filed because she had not visited or supported them for 2 1/2 years. That is a fact and cannot be changed.

It's impossible to predict what a judge will decide. He may give her another chance, he may give you everything you want. His decision may be somewhere in between.

In Indiana (California is probably different), when a bio-parent is notified that a petition to adopt has been filed, the bio-parent has 30 days to answer the petition. If she had a time limit in California, and did not file within that time, she may be out of the ballgame anyway.

When she calls, tell her she has to get a court order to communicate with the children. Tell her to quit calling your home and bothering YOUR family.

Do you have an attorney?

Good luck

No we don't have an attorney at this point. We didn't think that we would need one. We are actually raising 8 children and the cost of an attorney would kill us. We are still paying off the last attorney we had for some of the other children we have custody of.


All the paperwork is filed and I know that it is up to the judge.

We also need to wait and see what the recommendation of social services is. Apparently there are some CPS (child protective services) cases against her in her past in regards to the children. In fact we have had CPS caseworkers tell us not to ever leave the children with her. So maybe this will open those files and we might finally be able to know what she did to the kids.

I have been told that the judge puts a lot of his decision on the recommendations of the Social Services recommendation.

We should be having our homestudy in the next few weeks...unless it is held off because of the holidays.

Thanks for your input.