EX stop adoption?

What is the name of your state? Michigan

I signed paperwork to be on my child's birth certificate 8 yrs ago and have come to find out that the paperwork used was not for that situation ( an open birth cert). The child is not biologically mine. Yes I knew this. Since then, the woman is my ex and now I want to adopt my child and be on her birth certificate but she (the ex) says no. Can she do this, I'm sure she can raise a stink, but would the judge over ride her objection based on the fact that I have been in the child's life since 3 months of age (child 10 now) and I am recognized in the divorce papers as their father that supplies insurance and the necessities since I have been in her life.

I feel in principle this would be the right thing to have done.
The ex feels I will benefit somehow monetarily. She is a real piece of work.

My lawyer scoffed at this stateing that since I'm recognized in the divorce paperwork as the father, or equity father, that is good enough.

Can my daughter be adopted by someone else since?
Can she still use my last name?
Can I still have her on my insurance?

j g

what does your attorney say?

I have not consulted my attorney on this. 250 an hour is not pocket change to me. I figured I would see what I could see on the forum circuit.

j g

If the facts are as you state and you were named as her father in the divorce paperwork and that hasn't been rescinded, you don't need to adopt this child. She is already legally your child.

Hope this helps allay some of your fears.

Your daughter can now only be adopted by someone else if the state moves successfully to terminate your parental rights or if you voluntarily consent to an adoption by someone else.

Yes, you can carry her on your insurance.

Yes, she can use your last name.

Much obliged Mrs. Philpot

I'm trying to remember if you answered me about the ex collecting SS fraudulently in the past. All your answers quelled my mind. I have spoken to my daughter about this dilemma and it dosen't matter paperwork or not, I'm still dad. I am also making sure that the ex can not collect SS on my middle child since she also is entitled to her bio's death SS that I feel the ex will try to collect. This will not enable the ex to collect SS from dead bio since I am the respective father won't it even though I am not on the birth certificate. It would not be matter of the child collecting but the mother collects and would not use it for the furture benefit of the child. She already suckles off the oldest who is collecting SS (fraudulently by the mother) but unaware of it.

j g

I know that the Social Security Administration has a really good website. I'll bet you can find answers your questions there.

Thank you ever so much.

I have been to the SS site and yes it is full of information. I used it to investigate the fraudulant collecting on the first child. It takes time to research each case but that's the fun, trying to match up past case histories to answer my question. Do you know of an attorney here in Michigan that you would recommend for this type of question? You can e-mail me at any time.

j g

No. I sure don't know any attorneys in your state.

However, you can consult attorneypages.com to find an attorney in your area.

You can also call your county's bar association to find an attorney.

Best of luck to you with your case.

Thank you ever so much for your time.

j g

I just have a couple of questions. You say the child wasn't yours, was paternity ever established to disprove that? If it was then married or not, if the courts have the papers stating you aren't bio dad then that is what they can go by.

My next question you weren't originally on the birth certificate were you? Because you said the child is 10 now and 8 years ago you signed to have your name put on there. Were you married to mom when the child was born?


*Edit* okay I have one more question! Who is on the birth certificate and was the child given YOUR name at birth?

1. I know for a fact due to lack of relations with her that the child is not mine.
2. Not on original B.C.
3. I was not married to the woman or in her direct life at the time of conception or birth.
4. Nobody is in the daddy section and she was given the mother's maiden last name.
5. Come to think of it, we just applied my last name to her around the age of two. The only paperwork changing her name was the paperwork to put me on the b.c. which we found to be useless to us.

j g

John Galt said:

1. I know for a fact due to lack of relations with her that the child is not mine.
2. Not on original B.C.
3. I was not married to the woman or in her direct life at the time of conception or birth.
4. Nobody is in the daddy section and she was given the mother's maiden last name.
5. Come to think of it, we just applied my last name to her around the age of two. The only paperwork changing her name was the paperwork to put me on the b.c. which we found to be useless to us.

j g

Click to expand...

Then NO you aren't considered the father, I am not certain how you got put on the divorce papers with all of this in play. Did you ever sign an acknowledgement of paternity? If you weren't married to mom when the child was born then you weren't considered dad according to the state.
She can easily have someone else adopt this child. If your name was never put on the birth certificate then you have no grounds. I am sorry.

I don't know if you would be allowed to adopt the child as your own...it seems not, but you never know.

Are you disagreeing then with dorenephilpot's answers?

I have been in this child's life since 3 months of age(she is now 10 ), the court can not just let anyone else take over. That goes totally against the "best interest of the child" that the courts stand on. The ex acknowledges me as the father and I do not contest that. I am in the divorce paperwork as the father therefore it shows I have an established relationship both mental and parental.

I will however check deeper into this and hope mrs philpot is continuing to read this.

Anybody else with help? Remember, I am in Michigan.

j g

John Galt said:

Are you disagreeing then with dorenephilpot's answers?

I have been in this child's life since 3 months of age(she is now 10 ), the court can not just let anyone else take over. That goes totally against the "best interest of the child" that the courts stand on. The ex acknowledges me as the father and I do not contest that. I am in the divorce paperwork as the father therefore it shows I have an established relationship both mental and parental.

I will however check deeper into this and hope mrs philpot is continuing to read this.

Anybody else with help? Remember, I am in Michigan.

j g

Click to expand...

If your ex isn't denying you are the father and you aren't denying it (even though you really aren't) then you can try to file an intent to claim paternity, but I honestly have NO CLUE how it would work since you really aren't the father.

Is there any paperwork custody/child support wise? I don't normally say stuff like this but I would just file for the name change and to put your name on the birth certificate under the assumption that you are dad. Play dumb if you have to and see how it pans out. Sounds like really stupid advice I am sure but let me tell you this much, if you take her to court and get your name on the birth certificate she can still come in married some day and ask the courts to do a DNA test on you to prove you aren't dad and to let her new man adopt. Also she could never do this, you just never know.

The courts are suppose to have the best interest of the child at hand. I will tell you that i know of a case where a couple of men were told and treated like dad and come to find out they weren't and they filed for visitation...but I have never heard of anyone adopting under these circumstances.


No, I am not saying dorenephilpot is wrong. I wouldn't even go there. However, maybe she didn't notice that there was a difference in the dates you signed the paperwork and the age of the child, I don't know. But I do know that just because there are divorce papers with you as dad, doesn't mean you are dad legally.

It is a definite NO that she can not use your name legally on documents anyway. Her mom can use that name as an everyday thing, but when it comes to enrollment in school and such it has to be the same name her ssn is listed under.

Happy new year John

This is definitely not my area. You stated that you signed a paperwork to be on the B/C, but it was not used for that. What was it used for???

Since you are named as the father in the divorce/custody paperwork, you are indeed the legal father of this child.

I thought you already did adopt the child. If so:

Go here:

http://www.michiganlegislature.org/mileg.asp?page=chapterIndex

Type “adoption” into the search area

Go to Chapter X – Michigan Adoption code – read it all, but particularly read the sections below, regarding getting records of the adoption.


710.67

710.68

If not, it sounds like you have one heck of a mess on your hands, one that I will try to help you with but I'm not even a novice in this area. Once again, YIKES!! She's really putting you through the ringer, and likely crying to her friends about her poor, pitiful status in life. She really is a piece of work.