feel for you
I feel for you and know exactly how you feel. My hubby was the same way. He had his own business and was getting and spending money without my knowledge or consent. He was racking up charges on credit cards and overdrafting checking accounts like it was nothing. Eventually we did have to file bankrupcy. Fortunately, we stayed married but we had to come to a major understanding. First, I went and got my own back account and closed all joint accounts we had. Second, I sent certified letters to all my credit card companies (they were cards in my name only) stating that hubby was no longer authorized to use them. Next, I purchased a vehicle in my name only. Finally, I made a deal with him that I would refinance the house to pay off the rest of the debts he had incurred if he would sign the house over to me. I also began filing taxes seperately since he started his business. Now we have no debts or accounts jointly at all. I also managed to get the monthly debt of our living expenses down so that I could manage it all on my income alone. That way, I do not need to have his income for support. I know that does not sound like a very romantic way to live but I have to say, it has saved our marriage. It also opened hubbies eyes to how his spending had affected our marriage. After I took away his sources of getting money (credit cards and my work check) he had no way to spend it and now is acutally becoming quite frugal with money. It took a few years and a lot of planning but I found it to be well worth the effort. Good luck.
