TOP 10 Things To Do When Posting On FreeAdvice

TOP 10 Things To Do When Posting On FreeAdvice - -

NUMBER 10: Posting to numerous forums causes us Contributors to commit suicide!

NUMBER 9: We start laughing when you post your "criminal question" on the "Family law" forum.

NUMBER 8: When posting to the forums, clothing is optional.

NUMBER 7: Even though FreeAdvice has simple-to-follow rules that any 2nd grader could understand and follow, see how many rules you can violate.

NUMBER 6: Whenever your post discusses some sort of sexual behavior, it causes IAAL and VeronicaGia to "act it out."

NUMBER 5: See how many spelling and grammar errors you can make in one sentence.

NUMBER 4: "I finally get here, and you're telling me FreeAdvice is closed?!"

NUMBER 3: Please write your post as long as you can. The Contributors like to sleep.

NUMBER 2: "Paragraphs? What the hell are paragraphs?"

AND NOW, the NUMBER ONE Thing To Do When Posting On FreeAdvice - -

Despite the fact that there are over 300,000 questions and responses, you firmly believe that your question has never been asked before, and you adamantly refuse to use the "Search" function!


IAAL

Some more offerings:
"If you don't agree with the response, even a correct one, call the responder names and ask for 'real help'!!"

"When the facts clearly point that you were at fault, omit them from your post.. that way you get a response you like"

"When in doubt, shout!"

"Never, ever get anything in writing... asking for it will only insult the other person."

My own personal favorites

"Make absolutely sure that the "Caps Lock" button is LOCKED, because those little regular letters don't really get the point across."

"Shout just a little bit louder, there's some folks in Antarctica that couldn't quite make out what you said."

"When you attack a poster or their information on the forums and they reply back in an intelligent manner to your rantings, your next response should "always" begin with the words, "Yeah, well...."

"Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent."

"When IAAL reams you a new one, you have to accuse him of not being an attorney before you can go into your rant."

"Make sure that you throw in the all-knowing phrase of "You all must have no life, because you're on these forums" at least once in any ranting thread."

"Check you own life before you worry about anyone else. After all, it is "you" that's here asking for help from "us"."

one more...

When asking for advice, always spell it with an S.

example: I really need some good advise.

Never include your State name.
Post questions for legal advice from Canada, Mexico, UK or anywhere else but the US except NY and NJ.
Expect prompt and the courtesy of legal advice to get around the system when you have been arrested for criminal activity such DUI, drugs, property damage, theft, abuse, fraud, tax evasion etc.
Always post questions pertaining to dealings with ebay, ponzi schemes, erase your credit legally, homeworkers needed/work from home and make millions, hitting a car parked illegally etc.
We especially like posts to questions like, " the 14 year old girl said yes to sex and her parents knew, so my friend said that this would not be statutory rape. Plus that we did it anyway about 4 times at her house and she wanted it"
And especially post Landlord/Tenant questions without first reviewing your written lease and the applicable L/T laws.
Direct all questions pertaining to mobile homes to IAAL, except if you are in CA, but always call them trailers.
If you get kicked off the website, just re-register under a different user name saying that you are maxim2, the clone of the evil twin happyroach the forum troll.
Never, ever read user profiles so that you can assume the contributor is not an attorney and if the contributor is really not an attorney, you can assume that he/she is one.
Redundant posts welcome on the Real Estate Law board on topics of easements, joint tenancy, adverse possession and quit claim deeds. When posting about deeds, always use the term "quick claim deed" for a quicker response.
Always use the term noone, for no one, especially on the Family Law forum.
Never use speel cheque.
Always consider IAAL, HomeGuru, JETX et. al. the worst senior contributors on this website.
Feel free to use the anything goes scenario by posting tax questions in the real estate law forum and child support questions in the small claims forum.
If you do not know what forum to post in, just post in the litigation forum and say that you are an illegal alien.
Get mad when the contributor advises you to hire an attorney.
Wait 8 months after an accident and recovering from your injuries to post "do I need an attorney?"
Look for very old posts and reply to them to get a fast response from JETX.

DAMN, I was doing just fine till I saw your last one.....

R+R+ROTFLMAO

Oops ... all caps. Sorry. Translation = Rolling and rolling and rolling on the floor laughing my a$$ off. Thanks for the laugh everyone!

How about the same person posting 3 different questions in 3 different threads, when they can all be asked in one???

and what the heck is a paragraph?? or a period...???

And how about the one who complains because the CRA's haven't corrected their records to show his Chapter 7 bankruptcy four months ago and that is affecting is score so he can't get a mortgage!!
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?threadid=128050

"NUMBER 6: Whenever your post discusses some sort of sexual behavior, it causes IAAL and VeronicaGia to "act it out."

sex

sex

sex

sex

sex

"NUMBER 5: See how many spelling and grammar errors you can make in one sentence."

i wuz havin sex wiff my boifrend and sumbudy naimed IAAL caut us............duz this meen we haf ta git mareed or sumptin.....whose the fater ov mi babee.....can i severe hiz prenatal rites....plz hlp

My response:

All of you guys are funny!

I was waiting for Veronica to respond before I commented on everyone's posts to this thread. Let's hope, Veronica, there are many more sexual posts! "My man makes me feel soooo good."

Ain't ALL of the above the truth?

IAAL

It is all absolutely the truth

That's why I took a few days off from reading and responding to posts. I was starting to get a little nasty, and not in the good nasty way you prefer. So if I've been a little b*tchy, sorry. I still don't know how you keep your sanity hearing all these stories both here and at work. My patience would have run out before I could take the bar exam!

"My boyfriend makes me feel so good, but not my husband, so should I dump one of them? Oh, and I think I'm pregnant with my ex-brother-in-laws child!"

Another good post everyone will love!

Does anyone have any advice for the little lady? I bet her man makes her feel so good, even when he's in prison!

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=128135

GildedWillow
Junior Member

Registered: Jan 2003
Location:
Posts: 8
can i get a paternity test for father in prison?
What is the name of your state? oh

i am in the process of a divorce and have just given birth to a beautiful baby girl who is not my husbands. while in the hospital i was informed that the husbands name had to be on the birth certificat because we were still legally married. the problem is my daughters father has been sent to prison and in order to get any visitation with him it has to be immediate family. when i went to get her birth certificate the lady there informed me that if i had had a divorce decree and had my boyfriend signed a paternity affidavite his name could have been on her cerificate. i tried to do this today and she told me that she had told me wronge and that since the hard copy had been sent to the state her father would now have to take a patenity test before getting it changed. can i still have the test done and if so how do i get this started?? please help he hasn't been able to have any contact with her and it is tearing us both up. i can't imagine not even being able to take her to see him.

Lol

Ohio.

Just wanted to let you know that I have been reading this board on and off for a few years now and you guys crack me up!

Awsome site and awsome group of people running it.

Ok, lil miss (now a guest, hmmm), got my pet peeve, advice vs. advise. There's also finance when fiance is meant, statuary, statchutary, etc for statutory. I'm sure there's more but I'm blank now. Ohh, oh, I Know When Kids Come On Here To Post A Question And Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word.

Keep up the good work all.

Oh and IAAL, I have found my 17yo son to be in possession of some porn CD's from the Internet (including Paris!). Is there someone I can sue? Assume the position Veronica.