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moving to another state before divorce

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marjaj

Guest
What is the name of your state? Virginia
I desperately need out of my marriage. I know you have to have grounds for divorce in VA, but you can also do a separation agreement. During a marriage can you go to your spouse and inform him that you are moving without first having a separation agreement? I mean just tell him that you are not happy here and that you and the kids will be moving to another area, not even specifying divorce. If not, can I move out of state with my two children from this marriage during the separation? Or, can I move before the separation agreement is made? I don't want to have abandonment issues. Someone told me that even if you abandon your husband that the only thing that would be affected by that is spousal support. I find that hard to believe and feel that a judge would not look favorably upon a spouse who abandoned her spouse and that might affect child custody, etc. Please define mental cruelty. I have heard that it almost has to be to the point of physical cruelty and that it is very hard to prove.
 


kat1963

Senior Member
You are going to need an expensive pit bull attorney with experience in move-aways for this. First off, if you leave you husband will go right down the court house & file an emergency ex parte order for custody & child support. IF you can't be found, it will make it's way thru the courts until Federal charges are filed against you. In VA, the grounds for divorce has nothing to do with child custody. Your chances of moving away are good, the judge isn't going to make you stay...your chances of taking the children if your husband decides to fight are getting slimmer everyday.
If you file for seperation then leave (without the court order allowing you to do so) he can file a TRO to stop you from taking the children. (you have to give a 30 day WRITTEN notification to your husband AND to the courts, failure to do so is a sure fire way to be held in contempt & lose custody).
Call the VA State Bar Association, most give free or low cost consults...be specific with your needs.
KAT
 
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marjaj

Guest
Thanks so much for your reply, you've been very helpful. I had no idea I could contact the VA State Bar for help. I've been given some bad advice from an attorney here and it has left me quite confused, hopefully they will be able to answer some of my questions.
 

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