Legal seperation or divorce??

What is the name of your state? oklahoma

ok....first I never thought I would be asking these kind of questions. My Husband of 6 years has left me and our three children. he says he wants to be debt free and then we can be together again. however, he has left me and the girls with my parents and he is now with his. finances have been an issue since we married. I have worked off and on. we finally agreed that my place was at home with the girls 12, 4 & 2. he know says we wouldn't be in this situation if I had continued to work. so i again got a job last week and am now working full time again. i had found us a house and had put a deposite down on it. he said if i move to it he wasn't coming home, but if i stayed w/my family he would come home. so i got my deposite back as he wished. he now says he is not comeing back out here either, because he can't handle it here. i found out today he has taken his name off of our joint acts and has changed his pin numbers on his acts. in questioning this he just gets angry and says he doesn't want a divorce. well then what's going on. he just says he want's to be debt free. I am dealing w/everything else on my own and he wont tell the girls anything....he says he will pay me$75.oo a week. I just don't know what to do...any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Ranee said:

What is the name of your state? oklahoma

ok....first I never thought I would be asking these kind of questions. My Husband of 6 years has left me and our three children. he says he wants to be debt free and then we can be together again. however, he has left me and the girls with my parents and he is now with his. finances have been an issue since we married. I have worked off and on. we finally agreed that my place was at home with the girls 12, 4 & 2. he know says we wouldn't be in this situation if I had continued to work. so i again got a job last week and am now working full time again. i had found us a house and had put a deposite down on it. he said if i move to it he wasn't coming home, but if i stayed w/my family he would come home. so i got my deposite back as he wished. he now says he is not comeing back out here either, because he can't handle it here. i found out today he has taken his name off of our joint acts and has changed his pin numbers on his acts. in questioning this he just gets angry and says he doesn't want a divorce. well then what's going on. he just says he want's to be debt free. I am dealing w/everything else on my own and he wont tell the girls anything....he says he will pay me$75.oo a week. I just don't know what to do...any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Click to expand...

I think you know the answer. Now, whether you do it is an entirely different thing. But given enough time for him to get things like he wants them, he will do it for you.

Hi. It sounds like to me he is playing a mind game on you. You go out and find a job and get a house, and he doesn't want to come home. Has he ever heard of debt consolidation??? He can be debt free and still be with his family... just a thought.

How clever some men are. You have three children and yourself and he will give you $75.00 per week? WOW lucky you!! Your husband is avoiding divorce because he knows the court will order him to pay child support and possibly maintenance for you. Oklahoma will issue a temporary order for him to make payments for the above, prior to the final divorce and I would be willing to bet he knows it. Depending on his income he could be ordered to pay about $300 per week just in child support. Also, any funds in bank accounts belong to both of you. He could be ordered to pay you back for what he took. I am not an attorney and the above is not legal advice. Just common sense. I think you can delete the word "debt" from his reason for leaving you and 3 children and get the point of what he wants.

legal seperation

Thank you for your reply. I have consulted an attorney and now have to come up w/the retainer fee. I can't believe this is happening to my family. How could he be so selfish. He has let his parents dictate his life and this is so wrong. Any advise on how I can really get him by the b---s. He isn't even following thru on the $75.00 per week. Since I started my job on feb.5, i received my first pay check. unfortunatly, it was in the middle of the pay period when i started & it is only for 3 days totalling $98.00. How in the hell can my husband expect me to take care of the girls and myself on that?? 2 more weeks until I get paid again and he has left me with all the bills in my name to take care of as well.

You can go immediately to the court and ask for a temporary order for support. Of course you have to have the proper forms. Call your local clerk of court for some free help on what forms they have that can help you. They will NOT give you legal advice, so dont ask. Did you check out any paralegals in your area? If you dont have the money to take care of your children, how in the world will you get together a retainer?

Hi, Im sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds as if your husband is saying anything to buy time. He is setting himself up elsewhere. File against him for child support fast. You can go to womens resourses for help. As time goes by you will be very angry with this man for treating you and your children so bad. What he has done is a cowards way out. Be strong for you kids and make a statement, you will be a mother lion and get from him what he owes morally and legally. You may not see it now, but you are better off without this type of man.

Thanks for the advice. This doen't seem real to me. Like a horrible nightmare that i am going to wake up from. he hasn't contacted us in over 2 weeks now. how does he sleep at night. I can not turn my feelingsd off like that. thanks again for all the info. I'll check into it.