TX- How to avoid community debt without divorce?

What is the name of your state? TX
My DH is irresponsible with credit cards. I am not. His profligate spending caused us to be bankrupt in 1990, and my hard work has brought us back to prosperity. But now that our credit is great, he's at it again, despite the fact that we really can afford all we need and most of what we want - but he always wants more....hunting property, deer blinds, guns, campers....

I don't want a divorce but have to find a way to protect myself and our three kids from his problem. Our credit is on the line again since he's maxed out on his cards - that he got without my knowledge or consent... I'm now responsible for these debts. How can I stop people from giving him credit based on MY income? He could never have these huge credit lines (10K) based on his own income. Someone please save my marriage and tell me how to stop him!

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consult with a family law attorney. Texas may allow you to file for legal separation thereby eliminating community debt from the date the separation is filed.

you should also make sure you and he do not own anything jointly.

stephenk said:

consult with a family law attorney. Texas may allow you to file for legal separation thereby eliminating community debt from the date the separation is filed.

you should also make sure you and he do not own anything jointly.

Click to expand...

Nope, Texas doesn't have a legal separation, per se. You are either married, in the process of divorce or divorced.

Your DH is dragging you down the road to disaster-again. I do not know how it is you are not angry, furious, in fact, with his irresponsible behavior. It is very difficult to protect yourself and your children from someone with this deep need to buy everything in sight. Obviously, he has never heard of delayed gratification or living beneath his means.
If counseling does not help then you had better divorce him and just live together.

Well, yes, I am angry and furious and all those things. However, I am also well aware that although he's the one that's dragging us down (again), I'm the one that didn't divorce him ten years ago, after the SECOND time he did this kind of stuff.

The scorpion begged the turtle for a ride across the river. The turtle said "Nay, for you will sting me..." The scorpion declared "I would not sting you while my life depends on your swimming." So the turtle, a reasonable sort, agreed to ferry the scorpion across. Halfway across, the scorpion began to sting and sting and sting. Dying, the turtle cried "Why are you doing this? We shall both drown and die!" The scorpion replied "You knew I was a scorpion when you took me on."

I knew he was what he is - and while I'm not responsible for his screw-ups, I am responsible for my own decision to stay with him. No sense in crying over it. Our three children, my 3 stepdaughters and 5 grandkids all figured into the choice, and it was the right one for them at the time.

"No sense in crying over it".
Just sit back, relax and wait for the sting.

Here is one thing you can do to try to prevent this in the future.

Write all three CRA's (Credit Reporting Agencies) and ask them to put a "Fraud Alert" on your credit file (both single and joint). That way the creditors will contact you before they issue any credit in your names. This is not a fool-proof method since he could simply confirm on contact, but you would at least have the opportunity to stop the ones where you are contacted.

Heck, you might even just give the CRA's your work or cell number, that YOU can easier control for the confirmation of application number.

When the creditors calls you to confirm the credit application, just deny it.

Thank you, JETX, for a constructive answer. I think the fact that I'm asking for a strategy should make it obvious that I am no longer relaxing and waiting for the sting. We did do counseling the last time, and it clearly helped as we've made it quite a while. However, it "wore off", I guess, and since other areas of our marriage are fine and it's just this one area of contention, well, it seems silly to toss out the baby with the bathwater. You know, lots of families have it worse. Some people can't resist alcohol or cocaine, some men belittle and insult their wives and children (and vice versa), some cheat on them. Mine just can't keep a credit card cool. It'd be nice if he were a grown-up about it, and yes, it would be even nicer if I were married to someone with a good income and responsible money management habits - but that's not who I married. Again, no sense in blaming him, he didn't "change." I stood up and said "I do." My choice. All I'm asking is a way to reconcile that choice with my desire to have some fiscal stability.