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karlyn

Guest
What is the name of your state? Maryland


I have been married 20 yrs. 2 daughters, 14 & 16. My husband & i just do not get along!!~ I've told him I want a divorce a # of times during the past 14 yrs..... He threatened me with a custody battle (never used this as a threat myself) I did NOT want our girls caught in the middle so i stayed in the marriage....
I intercepted an e-mail a week ago from a woman to my husband - they knew each other 29 yrs. ago and she looked him up.... Seems he's been e-mailing her back and unloading all our personal problems to her. The e-mail she sent was highly suggestive since she asked him if they could keep their "horney" hands off eachother if they got together....

I was so angry - I confronted husbd. and asked him to move out to his mom's(she lives 2 mi's away) I didn't know what I did might not be legal. He did not have a sexual encounter with "old girlfriend" that I am aware however, he was contemplating it. I can't handle the idea of living together while we go through divorce procedings. We just met with a mediator today.

Haven't spoken to an attorney yet due to finances. I don't want to keep kids away from husband - I just don't want to live with him!! I just finished 8 mo's of chemo- type therapy for a newly diagnosed illness - I'm not sure yet how my future health will be affected. I work part-time and plan to stay employed! I want to stay in our jointly owned home with daughters until divorce procedings are final.

*I want to do what is LEAST destructive ffor my kids and LEAST draining on our finances.....

Need some advice.
 


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dianneph

Guest
I'm not a lawyer. THis is not legal advice, just observations. I have had a similar experience. Who told you that intercepting his e-mail was illegal? Was it on a computer that the two of you share at home? Do you ever use the computer for your own personal use? Was it on his work computer, if so - how did you have his password? If he gave you the password, forget it, he gave you access.

Talk to a lawyer. You can get a free consultation so that you can ask your questions and not be bothered by things that make no difference. Don't take your husbands or anyone elses word on what they say will happen or not happen. You need sound legal advice to know what is likely in your situation. Good Luck
 
K

karlyn

Guest
reply dianeph

His e-mail was not locked with a password and it was on our home computer.
What I wasn't sure was legal was making him leave the house.... I really wasn't aware at the time that I couldn't make him move out! but he is respecting my wishes and staying at his mom's....
We did have a 1st meeting with a divorce mediator and I have an appt. with an attorney the day after tomarrow....;)

Thanks for emailing me back!
 
D

dianneph

Guest
Oh, I see...sorry I thought you were referring to accessing his email.

As far as it being legal or illegal, I guess that's beside the point if he left voluntarily...it's not like you could have forced him if he insisted on staying. If he left of his own accord, even if you "kicked him out" so to speak...then how could it be illegal that he left?

That's one of the twisted areas in these kinds of situations. You can have a family where there's all kinds of abuse going on, verbal, emotional...very disturbing environment, but unless it becomes physical and you call the police and have the abuser arrested, you can almost never have the abuser evicted. If there's no abuse, on discontent, there's not much you can do to remove the other person from the house without a court order. So ask your attorney or mediator about this... because he could come back and refuse to leave.

I had a temporary protective order against my ex after he attacked me and was evicted from our home. This was after months of threats, nudging me when walking past me, even grabbing me by the shoulders, etc and horrendous verbal abuse, but until he actually physically attacked me, I could not make him leave the house. The TPO was only set originally for 6 months, and the divorce proceedings were moving like a slug...my (then) attorney advised me to "wait" to seek a permanent protective order, even though my ex by then had been arrested twice for stalking me and violation of the TPO! Attorney said "it's not time yet to seek a permanent order"...BS! That was five months into the TPO, and if I had followed his advice and let the TPO period end without doing anything the ex could have moved back into the house!! I went to court pro se and requested the PPO, his attorney showed up and said very surprisingly that they did not oppose the PPO, so even though the Judge and I were stunned at that - I got the PPO. I probably would have anyway which is why they didn't fight it, because of the arrests and pending criminal trial... but if I had "waited" like my atty (who I let go - obviously) had advised, I know the ex would have come back and that would have been disastrous.

Sorry, just wanted to expound on that topic. If he is not threatening you in any way, you may need to get some kind of temporary agreement ordered in which he agrees to stay separated....like I said, ask your legal advisor what should be done on that front.
 
K

karlyn

Guest
hi dianeph

Thanks! Wow, sorry you were in such a horrible situation!! No my sig, other is not physically threatening me, etc. The tought of him expecting to sleep in our bedroom during legal proceedings however is just too much to expect..... We really don't have a spare room he can use so since his mom lives so close by & has 2 spare bedrooms, I felt this would be for the best....
I'll talk to the lawyer about all this!!!

I hope your own situation is better... there is new light at the end of the tunnel for you, the relationship you had can leave wounds but I believe you WILL heal! Hang in there!:(
 

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