911 pro se

What is the name of your state? new jersey

i make 33grand have two kids in daycare. haven't rec'd any child support. entered pro se. am terrified. can't handle the pressures of this, my kids being assaulted, work, living check to check, etc. doc is suggesting i get on antidepressant. anyone know how i can at least get legal advice/coaching free if not a pro bono lawyer? legal services and aid told me i make too much. is it too late to get a lawyer at this point? is there a way to keep the bills separate if we both agree, or will the judge decide regardless? can i contact his attorney (he gets one because he claims he's unemployed, so he qualifies for legal services)? Thank you.

Do you have an order for child support? If the ex is unemployed and is receiving unemployment checks, a portion of the check should be coming to you, if you have an income deduction order. If the ex is unemployed and is not paying anything, take him back to court for comtempt. A judge worth anything will give him a time limit in which to find employment. Even still judges order child support to be paid based on what the father was or could be making and they can either get a job, or sit in jail. Good luck.
Not legal advice, life advice.

Since you are acting as your own attorney, yes you can contact his. What I would suggest is you start making some calls to lawyers and see if you can get a free/low cost initial consultation - have a list of the important questions you have, and use your time on the phone and/or in the office as productively as possible. I found that a lot of attorney's were willing to talk to me on the phone.

The most important thing to do if you're representing yourself is to *STAY CALM*. Don't get emotional, don't get overwrought. Dress conservatively (as though you were going to a funeral, is the way I usually describe it), don't use a lot of make up, don't wear anything but the barest of jewelry. Have your points written down so that you don't forget anything. If you have a support order, it's more likely than not that a judge would uphold it for any arrears that your ex has accrued, although he might modify it due to the employment status. Make sure you ask that current W2's and/or tax returns be filed yearly so you can stay on top of his income.

Good luck - stay calm and you'll do fine.

thanks

Thank you both for the excellent advice. There is an order of support, and he is contesting it, arguing that he was forced to resign from his job because of allegations of sexually assaulting our children. hence, no unemployment and no support. dyfs has substantiated the allegations, by the way. they recommend no visitation, no contact until he admits what he did and gets help. he denies the allegations and is still seeking visitation and custody. the prosecuters dropped this case like a hot potato. i think it might be because he's friendly with several politicians and he has family on the police force and in the state department of worker's compensation. he violated the restraining order on several occasions and even spent a week in custody and admitted to one of the violations. All he got was a slap on the wrist--a $200 fine. i really think the courts might be helping him out. this has dragged out since last june. the judges keep getting switched. his lawyer told the judge that since he is a social worker, it will now be hard for him to find a job. there is a probation hearing coming up, because i asked for child support to be enforced. a best interest report is finally in the process of being completed.

Realistically - your ex's career as a social worker is in the crapper. So his attorney may have a good case for a reduction of child support. You have a good case against custody to him or unsupervised visitation.

And you need to change your handle. As long as you think of yourself as a timidtillie, you will BE a timidtillie. Get something with more bite to it.

thanks again, momma tiger. i appreciate the support!