step parent adoption in ct

What is the name of your state? connecticut
does my ex husband have to legally give up his parental rights of our 8 yr old son before my present husband can adopt? or can ex-husband just agree to adoption without there being 2 proceedures.

The biological father has to legally relinquish his parental rights. He can't merely agree to the adoption.

so that would be two seperate actions ? He says he will not initiate action however he will not fight it if i do. does it matter who initiates

Your husband has to file a petition to adopt with your consent. Shortly after the filing, your ex will be given the option to consent or contest the adoption.

Yes, the termination of parental rights and the adoption are two separate issues. In our stepparent adoption case, the final decision on both was taken care of in one court with one judge.