"1.) Why did you get pregnant or pull down your pants in the first place then?"
Irrelevant at this point. THe postor can only deal with what to do in the future.
"2.) Was this planned or unplanned?"
Irrelevant as well. Either it was unplanned, or the situation is not as it was.
"3.) If you are going to keep one then why not the other one?"
THe postor already stated that she is not in a financial position to parent two children at this time, but wants to not relinquish both. Child care for two, health care for two, closthes, diapers for two is a difficult burden. This is her decision - she knows her financial situation - we do not.
There are many situations in which siblings are seperated. My daughter's biomom had five prior pregnancies before leaving our daughter at the orphanage. Whether she also relinquished the others or not, I will never know. But she made a choice either based on her inability to provide for more children, or whatever. I know another adoptive parent whose child needed to be adopted seperately from a younger sibling because of emotional/ developmental issues from their abandonment. THeir daughter could never learn to be a child, and be dependent if she remained in the caretaker role - she needed the opportunity to learn to be a child. They had RAD/PTSD and other issues to deal with that the child was suffering. My DH was raised seperately from his half sibs.
IT is not morally wrong to thoughfully examine what will result in the best interests of the children. If as biomom cannot provide for more than one child, they have the right to choose to not assume the responsibility for parenting more than one. That is her choice to make.
You need not be "guilted" into assuming more responsibilty than you can handle.
4.) Where is the father of these children? Or don't you even
know who the guy is or who the father is?
She likely has her own reasons for wishing to limit the BF involvement.
5.) Don't you think that the adoption agency is going to question your reasoning for wanting to keep one but give up the other?
There are situations in which a parent of one child relinquishes rights to another child when they are unable to financially handle the burden of more than one. Agencies are familiar with such situations. I am on six adoption web lists, and know of many situations in which siblings are sperated.
"6.) Where are the grandparents (if living)?? Why don't they help out?"
The postor knows the parents situation. Their health and capability. Not all of us have parents that are physically capable of helping out. My dad has been dead for a long time and my mom suffers from bouts of Menieres disease. And the postor may live in another place entirely. My sister is a post grad student out east. If she were pregnant, how would a parent help out? Also, they already raised a child or two. They are not responsible to become child caregivers, they did their "job". If they can help out, fine, but a choice to become a parent does not make one' own parents responsible to it again.
Speak with those who can provide emotional. spiritual support. IT will help you came to peace with whatever you decide to do. It would be naive to pretend that financial capability is an irrelevant concern in making parenting decisions.
If you wish to write off-list:
[email protected]. I have WI adoption attorney and agency names to provide if you wish to bounce the idea off of profesionals in this field.
