2nd Felony Drug Sales

What is the name of your state? New York is where I live but my 24 year old son lives in California. He called me tonight to ask for $2000.00 to bail him out of his second felony drug sales arrest. Please don't jump down my throat about making excuses for him. There is no excuse and I've heard every lie and BS story already from him about his situation and frankly I'm worn out from the tears and worrying about this one-yet I still love him.-I'm his mom. I have three other boys 17, 13, and 12 who despise drugs and whats it's done to our family. My oldest had a good, caring and sensitive heart, was bright but a bit lazy with a hilarious sense of humor. We all miss the person we used to know. But it's tearing me to shreds. Tell me please what will happen if he gets convicted a second time.

he will go to jail for a long time as this will be his second strike.

2nd Conviction

You didnt say how long? Are there any options for rehab? What could an attorney do? Is there a difference between court appointed attorneys and attorneys you pay for? Is there any possibilities he could make a deal with the DA to turn over people he knows that have larger amounts than his stupid game? I've heard about this but does this really happen? I want to know the honest truth on this subject as I'm trying to figure out some way to salvage this boys life with at least some advice. I know he has hit bottom. So now what? I will not bail him out.
I truly believe prison kills your brain and life almost as much as drugs. Although some time there helps to break the cycle of addiction Imprisonment is also a form of mental torture and tears down an already low self respect and low self esteem. (not to mention what it does to people who love you-but I'm mentioning it.

My response:

We understand he's your son, and that you love him. That's the way it should be. However, you also need to understand that, to us, he's just another druggie and a sponge on society. My vote is that he should waste away in prison. Our schools, our children, and the rest of society will be better off as long as he's behind bars - - and stays there.

IAAL

2nd

I believe that may be the only option for NOW. He will never learn otherwise and maybe this was a good thing. Thank you for answering my post. I know I will still keep seeking to help him overcome this (addiction) but I will not help him out of this. I realize he must help himself. It's just very very painful. Please pray for my courage to let him face his mistakes. I will remain hopeful that when this is over he may become a better person. Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep.-mom

here is what the problem is regarding the charges against him. In California drug addicts are offered drug treatment instead of prison. This is usually for first time offenders. How long ago was his first conviction? The fact that he was charged with drug sales may also keep him out of drug treatment. He may end up going to prison and also being required to undergo drug treatment.

Some prosecutors may consider reducing charges if the defendant has information on bigger dealers or drug suppliers.

DONT BAIL HIM OUT.........

Thats what his drug friends are for!!!!!!!!

Use the money on your non-drug using kids.

2nd

His first conviction was about 4 years ago. He was 20. He went to a place called Hobie House and was put on probation for several years. He did quite well there and I thought that he may turn his life around. He actually found some pride in the fact that they made him the cook and honestly sounded as though he was happier than he had been in a very long time. I saw some of the old loveable person actually come back.
But apparently this did not last. His wife left him for another man (she was also on drugs-even more than him) and he fell again. I flew him here last summer. I begged him to stay but he had already met someone. (wife #2). They are still together. And she called about a month ago to tell me he was messing up again. She is not a drug user. (At least she does not appear to be)
If this arrest forces him to get straight and forces him into treament this will be a good thing. I spoke to his Grandmother just now in CA and she says his court is tommorrow. I will visit this thread again then and let you know what has transpired. Thank you for hearing me-and being here.-mom

Update on Your Son

Dear BreakingHeart,

How are you doing? Did you find the help you needed? How did your son's hearing go? Did he get convicted? Did the judge send him to a diversion program instead of jail? Please let me know.

I hope the writer's son has had a lot of time in the slammer to think about his life and actions.

Having your child spend days in jail, frightened and alone, and you can't help because you've never been in this situation before. Survive - you have to - there is no choice, no room for your own feelings here - you do what you have to. You put yourself on hold again, do what you have to and wait until there's a free moment and then you cry and you fall apart. But you survive because you have no choice. You get your child out of jail and you just hold him and hug him and you both shake. Your worst nightmare may yet be and will be if he is sentenced to do time. If this happens again. Everything falls back on you again. Survive........ you survive because you have to. You do what you have to - whatever that is. And the bottom line remains the same: He is YOUR son and you love him - they don't !! And all of it 100% preventable !!!

2nd

Hi All- . Well this is what has transpired so far. They dropped his bail down to 10,000 when he went to court the next day. Of course we went through a series of him calling me and begging me to come up with a 1000 to post bail. I didn't. The very next night they let him out on his own OR. I don't understand all this but letting him back out to go back into that lifestyle was like dooming him to the third strike. Where he lives people come to the door and offer to "make him feel better...and forget his troubles...". So my x husband and I got together (he lives there) and put my son and his little family into a motel out of town where none of these people know where he is and we are awaiting the new court date of July 12th to find out exactly what they will do with him. We were told that the charges may be dropped due to a technicality. If they are then we will take this opportunity to fly him out here where I live and get him in rehab and help him to straighten out his life. He says he wants to. I informed him if he messes up out here even once I shall turn my back on him as if I never knew him. I pray every day that we will at least have this one chance before the enevitable end to this story if he stays there. I will visit here again after this second court date. Thank you all for your moral support. It means a great deal to me-I can't express how this has helped and it's not over yet-mom