Forced pregnancy

What is the name of your state? New Mexico

My sister was recently trapped into a pregnancy and I am having trouble finding information or support groups for her. The short story is that my sister and her boyfriend were having some problems. He is a very jealous, dominating individual and when my sister dumped him, he got really upset and was somehow able to woo her back.

Since then, he continued to ejaculate inside her despite my sister's clear objections. She had told him to stop doing that, but he was very clear about his intentions. He told her he wanted to have a child.

I dont know if she has grounds for any legal action, but I would like to find out any information I can about this happening to other people, and what they have or can do about it. In addition, I am particularly interested in finding some support groups to help my sister cope with this.

Ryderz said:

What is the name of your state? New Mexico

My sister was recently trapped into a pregnancy and I am having trouble finding information or support groups for her. The short story is that my sister and her boyfriend were having some problems. He is a very jealous, dominating individual and when my sister dumped him, he got really upset and was somehow able to woo her back.

Since then, he continued to ejaculate inside her despite my sister's clear objections. She had told him to stop doing that, but he was very clear about his intentions. He told her he wanted to have a child.

I dont know if she has grounds for any legal action, but I would like to find out any information I can about this happening to other people, and what they have or can do about it. In addition, I am particularly interested in finding some support groups to help my sister cope with this.

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**A: no comment.

Ryderz, as the sex was consensual your sister has no legal recourse. She and her partner are equally responsible for birth control, and if she didn't want to get pregnant she should have taken steps to protect herself.

Enjay,

Thanks for your reply. I agree with you that she shares the burden of responsibility in the instance as she should have insisted on him wearing a condom, or some other form of contraception. My disappointment lies in her more than anyone.

However, it isn't much different than intentionally breaking a condom or other means of sabatoge.

Nonetheless, as I stated previously, I am more interested in support groups than legal action. Hopefully someone will have some information.

Ryderz said:

Enjay,

Thanks for your reply. I agree with you that she shares the burden of responsibility in the instance as she should have insisted on him wearing a condom, or some other form of contraception. My disappointment lies in her more than anyone.

However, it isn't much different than intentionally breaking a condom or other means of sabatoge.

Nonetheless, as I stated previously, I am more interested in support groups than legal action. Hopefully someone will have some information.

Click to expand...

My response:

Ryderz, you're still not getting it. You keep talking about "his" responsibility to wear a condom. That wasn't HIS agenda. Remember, you're the one who said, "He told her he wanted to have a child."

So, why would you keep talking about using condoms or breaking a condom when he's the one who wants a child?

It was your sister's responsibility to use HER OWN type of birth control since having a child was HIS agenda. Your sister was one-half of this equation too, and all because she got swept up into the passion, doesn't relieve her of her own share of responsibility.

Remember too, there's always the last resort of abortion, if she really doesn't want to be pregnant or have a child. Since his agenda is to have a child, adoption is out of the equation. So, right now, your sister holds all the cards while she's pregnant, and abortion is her sole choice. She doesn't need his "permission" to abort.

Insofar as "support" is concerned, I don't know what kind of support she's looking for - - but, if you call your local hospital, they have all sorts of pamphlets for various types of support groups.

IAAL

Unless he has her locked up in the basement or chained to the bed, noone is forcing her to do anything. She is willingly taking him into her bed and into her body. The English language has a very tiny word that works well - no.

As a woman, she has significantly more options for birth control than he does - none of them require his consent. Many of them don't even require his knowledge.

At this point, she can have an abortion. Which is something I generally don't agree with, but there are situations when it may be the best course of action - like this one. I suspect, however, that she may be too far along for this to be a viable option.

You may consider suggesting to her that she seek counseling to figure out why she feels this is an appropriate way to be treated. But unless she is a minor and you are her guardian, she can do as she likes. Unfortunately, her lousy choices will now affect more than just herself.

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE,

I don't quite understand where the hostilty is coming from.

"Ryderz, you're still not getting it. You keep talking about "his" responsibility to wear a condom. That wasn't HIS agenda. Remember, you're the one who said, "He told her he wanted to have a child.""

I quite clearly understand that she made the choice to have sex with him and, as a result assumes the consequence of those actions. In fact if you actually read my second post, I stat quite clearly:

"I agree with you that she shares the burden of responsibility in the instance as she should have insisted on him wearing a condom, or some other form of contraception. My disappointment lies in her more than anyone."

Thank you for your response anyhow.

" dont know if she has grounds for any legal action, but I would like to find out any information I can about this happening to other people, and what they have or can do about it. In addition, I am particularly interested in finding some support groups to help my sister cope with this."

Here are the two questions you posted.

Your first question is strange. Legal action against the boyfriend for getting her pregnant? It's called a paternity action. She gets to ask for child support and custody and he gets to ask for visitation rights or custody or support if he gets custody.

There is no legal action to take to punish him for her getting pregnant.

Your second question is stranger. Support group for what - being pregnant? Being single and pregnant?

Are your questions issues she is bringing up or something you are doing on your own?

Ryderz

I think the hostility as you deem it comes from this one statement..

"I agree with you that she shares the burden of responsibility in the instance as she should have insisted on him wearing a condom, or some other form of contraception."

She didn't have to "insist" that he wear anything. As an adult, she could have easily went and got BCP's, Depo, the sponge, the new contraceptive patch, spermicidal foam, etc. SHE should have taken responsibility for contraception just as much as he should have. As stated before, HIS agenda was clear... he wants a child. HER agenda wasn't the same, and therefore SHE should have took precautions herself. Your quote up there implies that all her responsibility in this was "she should have insisted on him wearing a condom, or some other form of contraception." Again, if she saw that he wasn't going to take responsiblity and wear a condom since he stated he wanted a child, then she sould have taken the necessary steps to obtain contraception for herself. That was the "other form" of contrception. She didn't even have to make him aware of it, just do it.

As for what legal action your sister could take, stephenk and IAAL have covered those questions for you. Getting pregnant, or getting someone pregnant isn't a crime. Many people have unwanted or unplanned pregnancies, your sister isn't alone on that. If that's the type of support groups you are talking about then have her look in her local phone book and find out the names of the agencies in her area that counsel people in this situation. Best of luck to her.