She's being abused

Washington state

My best friend is 17 and living at home with her verbally, physically, and sexually abusive father. She has tried to talk to her mother about the abuse but her mom would rather pretend that her family is fine and make excuses (or lie) for her husband than protect her own kids. The worst sexual abuse so far happened only two days ago when my friend’s dad entered her room in the morning and proceeded to molest her with his finger (penetrating her under her underwear). Her father assumed she was asleep. My mom has offered to take my friend in to live with her. What can my friend do? The most important thing is getting her out of that house and out of that town (she lives sorta far away). Since she is already 17, can she just leave home? Her father is very controlling and does not want to let her leave. She is afraid that if she reports him, that no one will believe her because her dad is a very convincing speaker. What are her options?

she needs to contact the police.

needtoknowWa said:

Washington state

My best friend is 17 and living at home with her verbally, physically, and sexually abusive father. She has tried to talk to her mother about the abuse but her mom would rather pretend that her family is fine and make excuses (or lie) for her husband than protect her own kids. The worst sexual abuse so far happened only two days ago when my friend’s dad entered her room in the morning and proceeded to molest her with his finger (penetrating her under her underwear). Her father assumed she was asleep. My mom has offered to take my friend in to live with her. What can my friend do? The most important thing is getting her out of that house and out of that town (she lives sorta far away). Since she is already 17, can she just leave home? Her father is very controlling and does not want to let her leave. She is afraid that if she reports him, that no one will believe her because her dad is a very convincing speaker. What are her options?

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- she realy does need to tell the police. If she feels uncomfortable at this point in talking with the police, have your mom take her to child protective services and let her speak to them. They in turn will notify the police. Both agencies can get her out of the house and into a suitable environment.

Tyris

And if she still feels that the police won't do anything because her father is a 'smooth talker' tell her the next time this occurs to immediately drive to the emergency room of her local hospital, do not take a shower, do not attempt to clean herself in any way and do not pass go.

If the doctor finds evidence of penetration and/or sexual abuse such as bruising or tearing, he is obligated by law to report such.

Then it's out of her hands and between the doctor, the police and the father.

i REALLY don't think she should wait for a "next time". She needs to get out of that house and out of that town. My mom lives a few hundred miles away from her and i know from how much time i've spent with my friend that she would do really well in a healthy enviornment (needless to say, she isnt doing well emotionaly at home). The thing is, if she says somthing now, and there is not the evidence to prove it, her whole family will be against her and her dad will be even more mean to her. She would really like to avoid a legal process though. She has been through a similar process before and she doesnt want to re-live it. She just wants out. But what legal options does her dad have if she just up and left? Some one told me that kids who leave home after they turn 17 arnt even filed as runaways because of how old they are. Can she just leave? And if not, what would be the most simple way of escape?

If she simply leaves, she CAN be reported as a runaway and she CAN be picked up. Your Mother CAN be charged with harboring a runaway, and possibly other charges. It would be a very foolish move.

Unfortunately, the thing for her to do is what you've already rejected - go to the police, go to CPS, go to a doctor. At 17, they are likely to consider her testimony credible.

But running away would be a very stupid thing to do.

I havnt rejected those things. I'm just going with what she has told me. Ok, so... If she goes to the police or child protection or whatever, what will happen with her afterwards? Can she choose where she goes or will the state choose for her? What can she expect to happen?

I can't pretend to know laws, but I can tell you a little about my personal experience. I was in a similar situation when I was 15. My mother beat me alot. The last day that I lived with her I came home from being out with some friends for the day and she went crazy. I called a friend who picked me up, I went to the police station to inform them what had happened. (I had just left before and was reported as a run-away and got into some trouble for it.) They removed me from my home and allowed me to stay with my friends parents. But here is the catch, my friends parents had to have a home-study done through CPS. The judge listened to me as to what I wanted, but your mom would probably have to have a home study done at the very least for the courts to place her there. How much longer does she have until her 18th birthday.

I have to agree, the next time it happens go straight to the hospital or police. She may not want to have to go through it again, it is a hard thing to do, but she deserves to be safe and not have to worry about someone doing that to her. If I were her the next time he does that, I would scream my head off! It would give everyone in her house no choice but to see what is happening. I don't know, but it is a tough situation.