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FED UP MOM
Guest
I AM MARRIED, HAVE TWO CHILDREN FROM PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP. TO PUT IT PLAINLY, THEIR BIOLOGICAL FATHER IS THE POSTER CHILD FOR DEAD BEET DADS.HE DOES NOT PAY CHILD SUPPORT. HE QUITS HIS JOBS AS SOON AS THEY ATTATCH HIS WAGES, WHICH USUALLY TAKES FOREVER, BECAUSE HE DOESN'T TELL THEM HE'S WORKING. BUT THIS IS NOT REALLY WHAT BOTHERS ME. HE GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO IGNORE THE KIDS. FOR EXAMPLE, HE HASN'T SEEN THEM SINCE OCTOBER. AT CHRISTMAS, HE CHOSE NOT TO EVEN CALL THEM. HE JUST DOESN'T BOTHER WITH THEM. OCCASIONALLY (MAYBE TWICE A YEAR OR SO) HE'LL TAKE THEM FOR AN HOUR OR SO, MAKE ALL KINDS OF PROMISES, AND THEN GO AWAY (HE LIVES LESS THAN A MILE AWAY) THEY ARE VERY, VERY HURT BY THIS. IT IS EMOTIONALLY DRAINING FOR THEM. THEY CRY, WONDER WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM BECAUSE THEIR FATHER CAN'T EVEN CALL. HE'S AN ALCOHOLIC, HE HAS A VERY LONG CRIMINAL HISTROY INCLUDING DRUG POSSESSION. DESPITE ALL OF THIS, I HAVE BEEN OVERLY GENEROUS TO HIM, I OFFERED HIM SHARED CUSTODY, LEGAL CUSTODY, AND I (TRY TO) CONTACT HIM ANY TIME THERE IS A SCHOOL EVENT OR SOMETHING IMPORTANT GOING ON WITH THEM TO ASK IF HE WANTS TO BE PRESENT. MY HUSBAND HAS EVEN PICKED HIM UP AND TAKEN HIM TO THESE EVENTS. STILL, HE PLAYS WITH THEIR EMOTIONS. I USED TO FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER KEEP A CHILD FROM A PARENT, THAT A MOTHER'S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE FATHER IS COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO THE FATHER'S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHILD. (I STILL BELIEVE THAT PART) BUT NOW, I WONDER IF I SHOULD KEEP LETTING THE BOYS GET HURT LIKE THAT. SOME ONE TOLD ME ONCE THAT IF THERE IS NO PARENTAL CONTACT IN 6 MONTHS, THEIR RIGHTS COULD BE LEGALLY TERMINATED. I AM WONDERING IF THIS IS RIGHT IN OUR SITUATION. THE BOYS THINK THE WORLD OF THEIR FATHER. AND I DON'T WANT TO BE THE BAD GUY OR AN EXCUSE FOR HIM, FOR THAT MATTER. I JUST WANT TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR MY SONS. I JUST DON'T HAPPEN TO KNOW FOR SURE WHAT THAT IS.