children's rights

My ex-son-in-law has remarried, and we have been in constant turmoil since. The new wife is terribly vindictive against my daughter. She does erratic things like calling my daughter's employer, calling any friends she finds out about, not mailing child support, mailing child support to my grandson instead of his mother, calling any man my daughter dates and trying to establish a "friendly" relationship etc.etc. We do not know her motives unless they are jealousy or eventually wanting custody of my grandson to break ties between my daughter and ex- son-in-law. She torments my grandson when he is at her home by telling him outrageous lies about his mom;forcing him to watch movies where the mother dies etc. etc. He cries, vomits and breaks out wtih mouth sores when he has to go. When my daugter didn't make him go, they filed contempt of court and won. They have a good lawyer and more money than my daughter. We have recommendations from my grandson's counselor which the judge would not even read. I am trying to help, but it is like watching my money go down the drain. The ex is very passive, but the new wife is very smart. My grandson is 11. What can we do? How long before my grandson can have his wishes respected?

[This message has been edited by Kaye (edited April 15, 2000).]