child support from unwed father

I have never been married and I have a one year old son. My son and I both live in Maryland. I informed the child's father when I became pregnant. He ackowledged that he was the father and then demanded that I get an abortion. I declined and we have not spoken since. The father now lives in California. (We were firends for at least 10 years before this occured.)

How would I go about obtaining child support? Can you please list the steps I would need to take in order to obtain child support?

Do I risk having the father challenge me for visitation and even custody? I do not want my child traveling to California to visit the father. Would a court ever give custody to a father in a situation like this? What else should I consider before contacting the father again? Am I digging up a can of worms? Or are the potential child support payments worth the effort?

Thanks,
KC

kc
my son is nine years old and has never seen his father. his father saw him the day after he was born. i was 19 when my son was born and had planned to give him up for adoption but the father would not sign the adoption papers saying he wanted to help take care of him, however we never saw him again. he is now marries with two children and one on the way. he says he now wants to sign over his parental rights (after 9 years of leaving the responsibility to me)
my advise to you is get something in writting from him (a letter etc) saying he is the father. in my research that would be helpful later. if you ask for child support or not you might want to get a paternity test that at least would help. it's harder to get back (past) child support without a court order for it without the paternity test. which, along with his admitting he's the father, would help with getting child support along the way.
if you ask for child support you do run the risk of the father wanting visitation. yes, they (court) could send your child to california. however, he being so far away it would probably be for several weeks during the summer and every other holiday. you have to decide it would be better for your child to have his father in his life. it's hard being a single mother, i know. my son was five years old when i met my husband who loves my son as if he were his own. my husband has a 12 year old whom my son sees as his brother. my son calls my husband "daddy". for me everything worked out. i have to decide now if to have his real father sign over rights or make him face his responsibilities. good luck with whatever you decide. remember to do whatever is in your child's best interest.
if you do try for child support us the child support enforcement agency in your town. its cheap (if not free) and they have the resources to do the job well.

rac

A child needs BOTH parents EMOTIONALLY and FINANCIALLY. It really concerns me when I read posts like this where the custodial parent is ONLY concerned about the money. Children need BOTH parents in their lives! You should be equally, if not more concerned about your child's father being involved in your child's life. Don't you want what's best for your child? What's best for them is having two parents that love them and raise them together in a happy, healthy and secure environment, even if the parents don't live together. Although I agree that BOTH parents have financial responsibility to their children, money does not ensure happiness, healthiness or security. So maybe the father of your child doesn't want a relationship with his child, but you should be doing EVERYTHING you can to encourage one.

[This message has been edited by tgabriel (edited April 16, 2000).]

I just had to respond because of the other responces!! Yes, a child needs both parents, but sometimes that is not possible. I am going through the same thing with the father of my child with the difference being he is pursuing visitations (he is in VA and we are in MI). Chances are, this guy will not even put something in writting about being the child's father nor will he sign paternity papers without a test proving he is the father (which tend to be expensive and would be your responsibility to pay for if you are wanting to get it done). If this man wanted you to get an abortion then he doesn't care much. In my opinion, the money is not worth having him in your child's life!! It's probable better that the child not know it's father than to think for all it's life that the father didn't want to see or have contact with it.