Child Counseling

My ex-husband and I have joint custody. I feel my son needs counseling but my ex won't agree with it and is against me making an appt. for our son to speak to a counselor. What can I do about this?

You chose an interesting nickname - Heaven - do you believe in that? Children are gifts from God to us, we are their guide and if somehow you feel you are at a loss as to how to guide your son then there is the almighty BIBLE - Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth - God is our guide trust in Him to guide you He will give you the strength and wisdom if you seek Him - a good book to read The Power of A Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian is a good resource to draw your courage and wisdom in helping your son and husband as well. This is just a loving advice and sensing your feeling from your words and seeking for advice - I hope I have helped - I too had to come to this realization as to where my strength comes from - Almighty God! God Bless!

I'm kind of confused....Even though you have joint custody that doesn't mean that you cannot make choices for your child. Why would he need to agree or give you permission to have your child seek a counseler...is this stated in the court papers? If not, I don't see any reason that you cannot take your child there...someone please correct me if I'm wrong. My husband and I have physical custody of his son, bio mom does have joint custody (which is SO common, and most do receive joint) and we make a lot of decisions regarding the child without asking her...in this case if the child needed counseling we wouldn't even consult her...wouldn't even cross our minds..

[This message has been edited by KimLong (edited April 14, 2000).]

are you very familiar with your custody agreement? joint custody does not mean your ex has the right to make any decision at all in your son's life. it is LEGAL custody that is the right to be a decision maker. if you have joint LEGAL custody, you can always petition the court if the two of you cannot reach a decision together, but if you have physical custody, and insurance cards, or the money to pay the bill, no counselor is going to ask for a permission form from the child's father. just take him, and your ex will have to petition the court to make the therapy STOP, but he would have to prove that is it in some way harming the child, which is impossible. so just do it.

joint custody for the purpose of visitation does not mean anything. LEGAL custody is the right to make decsions in a child's life, re education, medical concerns, religion, things like this. if you have joint LEGAL custody, then you have two options. petition the courts to have counseling for your child (which will take a while but you will get it) or if you have physical custody of the child, and insurance cards, or the money to pay for the counseling, just take him. no couselor is going to ask for a permission form from the father, and the only thing the father could do is petition the courts to stop counseling, and he would have to prove to a family court judge why counseling is hurting your child which is practically impossible. just do it.

Heaven,

If you feel your child would benefit from counseling and needs it, then you take the child. Parents are responsible to see the emotional needs of their child are met. If part of taking care of his emotional needs involves counseling, then so be it. You will be commended for it, I am sure. I think your ex would get laughed out of the court, b/c a divorce in itself would be enough reason for the kid to need therapy. The court, if anything, would wonder what there is to hide, if your ex is so adamant about the child not going for counseling. Good luck.