Girlfriend and Married Man

Thanks to everyone that responded to this post. It made me feel a lot better to know that someone has gone or is going through the same thing.

[This message has been edited by Elaine Mack (edited April 24, 2000).]

From my experience, there is nothing the wife can do to you. You have not done anything except beleive your man. I think I would "lay down the law" myself in your home. Your live in needs to file for divorce NOW or move out of your life. What is the hold-up? He can't prevent the wife from calling him, but he can do the right thing and get divorced, instead of dragging it out. The longer he waits, the uglier the situation may get, and the harder it is on everyone involved. He can't have his cake and eat it too, which some try to do. It is unfair to you and the wife. Give him the choice and mean what you say. Sit back and see what happens!

My advice: RUN!! Run as fast as you can, as far as you can away from this man. If he wanted to be divorced, he WOULD already be divorced. He is playing you! I was in the exact same situation, except the guy wasn't married, it was an ex-girlfriend (or so I thought) that "wouldn't leave him alone", was "trying to hang on to him". That's what he said. I was with him ALL the time and when she would call he put on a good act of telling her to stop calling him and to stop bothering him. I went out with him for almost a year before I figured out he was living a double life. The ex was never an ex and the ex thought I was just his lab partner and that we studied alot. Wished we had, I would have had better grades. Instead I ended up feeling like the biggest idiot!

Whether she can sue you depends on what state you're in. If they were already living in separate states when you met, she doesn't have a case. HOWEVER, this guy is NOT going to divorce his wife and marry you. He's not going to stop taking the wife's calls. Unless you can live with that, walk away, cry for a week, and do the single thing for a few months.

Ciao,
Tracey

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This is not legal advice and you are not my client. Double check everything with your own attorney and your state's laws.

Well, Elaine, it could very well be that it's as the other posts here have said, that your man won't get divorced if he hasn't already. I don't know your personal situation, but I will tell you a bit of mine. I met my husband in 1988, when we worked together. He was married when I first met him and I was only 16 yrs old, working in the summer with my dad. I began working there full time at 18 years old. My husband's ex had left him for another man, and he wanted to take me out (when I was 18). I said ok. We dated (not seriously) for about 6 months. Then we began getting serious. It was then that his ex realized that he was moving on with his life, and that's when she decided that their marriage was worth saving. At that point, I told my husband point blank, if you want to take her back and work it out, don't let me stop you. He told me he didn't want to work anything out with her, their marriage was over and he wanted to be with me. It took 3 years, for the divorce to be finalized. We have been together for 9 years, married 5, and have 2 children and one on the way. So, like I said, maybe you can have a game-player on your hands, or maybe you just have a man who is truly a victim of circumstance...only you will truly be able to tell. I don't believe she can pursue you legally...I am not sure if she can pursue him legally though.