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Unmarried- Custody Dispute...

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Pony1

Guest
I'm an unmarried father. For the first 6 years of my son's life, his mother and I had nothing legal worked out. We agreed on Child support and visitation arrangements. We were always very flexible and supportive of each other. About a year ago, I moved my girlfriend to my home state. She has since then become my fiance. As soon as she arrived my son's mom cut my time with him down to less than 10 hours a week. He was no longer allowed to stay the night at my house or associate with my family if she was there. There was plenty of tension and fighting. We tried to negotiate a parenting plan but we couldn't agree. All I asked for was Joint Legal Custody (I'm letting her have sole physical custody) and regular visitation, having him about 20% of the time. She's unwilling to switch off Christmas mornings and she doesn't want to give me extended times over Spring Breaks or summers. She and her family actually want to make our son choose between us every Christmas, deciding who he wants to stay with! She's put him in the middle a lot. She's made him feel like he had to choose a lot. I feel a legal structured agreement would keep him out of the middle. His therapist, who he's been talking to recently because of all this, agrees with me strongly. I've since talked to a lawyer and his mother has been served. I live in a state where joint legal custody is very very common and what I asked for went along with the state's guidelines for Joint custody. I'm waiting for her response to the petition. Has anyone out there been through anything similar? Dealing with an ex who can't let her child get close to the current girlfriend/fiance? (My son has developed an excellent relationship with my fiance, by the way. At first it was weird because it was obvious that he knew how his mom felt about her. His mom would put him in the middle a lot and use him as a bargaining chip, unfortunately. She even tried to convince everyone that my fiance was emotionally abusive to him but that went out the window, everyone knows the truth now.) Do you think I have a good case? What have you done, or what would you do, in my situation? All your help is appreciated. Thanks.

Daniel
 


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armydad

Guest
i thing a father willing to be a good father, a supportive father should not be kept from his child. my son's father has not seen him in nine years, (his choice). i don't have any legal advice to give, however i would like to say that children are sensitive. your ex should not use your child as a tool to get back at you. the best thing for you to do is not argue with her. bite your lip, go outside and scream, but do not argue in front of the child and never bad mouth the child's mother to the child. no matter what she does as hard as that might be it would only hurt you and your child in the long run. good luck.
 

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