need to know if i am the father

this is my problem, i had a relationship with this woman, she got pregnant first she told it was mine (she is still merried with a diferent person ) then her husband find out obout our relationship after about 3 yrs after the child or my kid i dont know is 3 1/2 years old now for all this time i was thinkin she was my kid, now she is saying the child is his, (may be because she doesnt want him to leave her, she told him it is his) and this is killing me not to be able to know, been in a doubt. i still talk to her on the phone and everytime we talk about this she gets upset like she doesnt want me to know, i think she is hiding the real thruth in her favor and i dont think its right. so was wondering if there is any way that i can make her test the little girl, do i have any legal right to know even she doesnt want it?. should i take her to court or what can i do?? please help me i am dieing to know and is affecting my life. please help???

I feel really sorry for you...I know that this has to be hard. I am not offering any legal advice however I think if you really want to know the truth you have many questions that you need to think about and answer within yourself. 1) If the child is yours...how will it affect the family life that she has come to know? 2) If she is yours...are you ready to take on ALL responsibility that comes with being a father. Such as child support,with does not just include financial obligations but more to do with emotional support and being there full-time not just when it's convinient for you. 3)How does finding out the truth affect all parties involved and can you deal and live with the repercussions that will affect everyone when the results of the paternity test are in.
I think you should think hard about all of this...and in the end follow your heart because I do think that you do have every right to know if that child is yours. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.

thank you for your comments i really apreciate it you replied thanx again hrtbrkr

[This message has been edited by mixer816 (edited April 21, 2000).]