Should I allow visitation?

My daughter is 1 yr old. Her father has seen her once and hasn't called since I asked him if he planned to support her many months ago. His parents saw her once, sent a Christmas card, and that's it. I ran into them today. They asked when a good weekend would be to bring her birthday gifts. I haven't sued for support because that would give him visitation and I don't want her to suffer through an in and out type of father. I will probably sue him in the future if he will not give up his rights to her. My question is should I deny his parents ( and even him) visitation or will that come back to haunt me? Keep in mind that they only surface every 6 months are so, and never call to check on her. Any other advice on how to handle the situation is welcome.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by uagirl2000:
My daughter is 1 yr old. Her father has seen her once and hasn't called since I asked him if he planned to support her many months ago. His parents saw her once, sent a Christmas card, and that's it. I ran into them today. They asked when a good weekend would be to bring her birthday gifts. I haven't sued for support because that would give him visitation and I don't want her to suffer through an in and out type of father. I will probably sue him in the future if he will not give up his rights to her. My question is should I deny his parents ( and even him) visitation or will that come back to haunt me? Keep in mind that they only surface every 6 months are so, and never call to check on her. Any other advice on how to handle the situation is welcome.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My response:

First, child support and visitation are two, distinct matters, and exercising a right of visitation has NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on whether a parent has paid child support.

Second, it would behoove you to nurture a relationship with your child's grandparents; encouraging them to spend time. A child needs such nurturing and love. Seeing a child should never be held "hostage" in order to obtain something else. Your child will eventually thank you. Think of the child's well-being for a change, and not your own. I realize that child rearing doesn't come with an instruction manual, but common sense should prevail no matter what YOUR feelings might be about the father or his parents.

IAAL

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[This message has been edited by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE (edited April 24, 2000).]

I know exactly how you feel...my daughter is now 12 yrs old, and her father's side of her family has seen her a whole 5 times. It is important, however for a child to know where they come from...and a child can never have too many people in their lives that love them. It's hard to watch people go in and out of their lives, but it is part of life.

i spoke to an attorney last week. child support and visitation are two seperate matters, just because you have one, doesn't mean you automatically get the other. as for as child support. if you do not have a court ordered child support agreement you will not be able to receive back support. my son is nine years old and we never has a legal agreement. the father has not seen nor done anything for our son in nine years. my husband pays 180.00 a month to his ex wife for child support because that is what they agreed upon and both or trust worthy.. we know that is much less that if it were court ordered. i used that figure as a base x nine years. my ex. would owe aroung $20,000 if i could get it. that would buy a lot of clothes, food, medical needs, and extra sports he wanted to play. also, a parent will not be allowed to sign over parental rights unless their is someone to adopt him say if you got married to someone else. under normal situations that is the only way. the reason is the courts want to make sure that the state would not have to support your child (with things like medicaid, and so forth)
good luck