Adoption Basics

What is the name of your state? MN

Okay, after a lot of thought into whether I want to have more children, I have decided in the future, after I am finished with school, that I would like more. However, I would like to adopt from another country, even continent.

Can anyone give me a general idea of what I will need to go through? This is a long term plan, and I will not act on it for four- six years, but I wanted to know...

Thanks!
God's Blessings!

I would encourage anyone who wants to expand their family to consider adoption, especially orphanage adoption. Bulgaria has about 20,000 kids that need homes and families. Our daughter is part Romani (Gypsy). Many of the kids in BG orphanages are Romani, as they are in very bad shape financially and live in real poverty.

Progams vary from nation to nation. And somewhat from agency to agency. Read up A LOT on the culture and environment one can expect to have infuenced their child's background or situation.

Some countries are mostly private adoptions (which I shied away from so as to be certain that mine would not be a "black market" adoption. THe alternative will generally be an orphanage adoption (or a child that is living with a foster family). Institutional living DOES impact development, so it is best to read and be familiar with the challenges that PI kids bring- yet not scared off

Here is how our process worked.

Chose agency after research and determining the country we were interested in (Bulgaria). Why Bulgaria? The country wants you to meet the child up front at the beginning of the process, so they are comfortable that you have seen the child and truly want them. Also, BG has a much lower incidence of FAS/FAE than some more northern former Soviet states, and the kids arte better cared for than orphanages in some other nations. Other positice was that travel time was limited, so we could save time off to use when our daughter came home. She was 25 months when she became ours, and only a few weeks old when she was left at the orphanage.

What was needed varies depending upon the state of residence. We had to meet BOTH the state and BGs adoption requirements.

Dossier included:

Letter from is explaining why we wanted to adopt and why from Bulgaria.
Home study
FBI fingerprint check
criminal background check.
Financial statement to show financial capability.
5 letters reference from non-relatives who had known us at least five years. 3 from relatives.
A safety inspected home for our child, with her own room, over a room to share with a sibling.
A criminal background check of anyone else who would have resided with us.
Continued employment letters.
agency fees, legal & translation fees.
travel expenses.
2 prior years tax returns.
An approved I600 visa from INS for our daughter to enter the US once the adoption was complete.


State of WI approval.
Single woman CAN adopt from places like BG, Russia and China, if all else is ok.

What the heck? Where did the "being on welfare" come from??? All single women with kids aren't on welfare!
Steph

Sproutlaw, I am active on many adoption weblists- especially for parents of Post-Institutionalized kids. MANY of the parents adopted as singles. I was starting to pursue single parent adoption (as my son from my late husband was entering college soon) when my current husband and I got together. We had known each other 5 years when we started dating. I would have adopted with him (as we married) or without him (if we had not). Fortunately, he was cool with the idea, as his ex had done all in her power to destroy his relationship with his kids, now grown and he had always wanted to get to BE a dad. We know a large group of adoptive parents who are raising a second round of kids, past age 40 or 50, and really enjoying it.

These single parents not only get no CS from anyone, they paid out significant legal, etc fees to get their kids home. One of my friends has adopted 7 kids, as a single mom, and is a schoolteacher. Her kids are both domestic and international adoptees. I have other friends that have just OK jobs, but they all are doing fine raising their kids without CS and without welfare.

I know single adoptive parents with domestic (mostly from foster) adoptions. Also from China, Kazahzstan, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Korea, Viet Nam, Haiti, Guatamala, Peru, Mexico, Romania, and a number of other places. I know some others who have only adopted kids from disruptions (not for the faint of heart)- their kids are from all over, but the adoptions done here.

sroutlaw said:

What the heck? Where did the "being on welfare" come from??? All single women with kids aren't on welfare!
Steph

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CaliGali has a problem with the OP. Just ignore it.

Well, actually it's neither, CBG. But the fact is, you have a hair up your butt for DC and your following her around isn't productive for anyone.

Besides, I thought you were leaving our hallowed halls - how many times have you stated that emphatically? You have no more credibility than she does, babe.

Thank you next wife for you assistance.

Like I have said, I would like to after I finish college in Accounting, that's in four years, and after I get my self stablized financially. I am financially stable right now. I have a great job, and I run a business out of home as well. SO things are rolling out fine. I paid cash for my tuition for college. Who would of thought!?
I am very grateul for your input on the information.
If I have any more questions, I will direct them towards you Next wife.
Are you on Flame Wars? I cannot remember.

Thanks again!

Calibaygirl said:

Look , if you feel the need to be involved in EVERY person's posts here, so be it, mind your own business.

The one thing I will not do is tolerate her posting the post she did, she has a pretty good mouth on her, I do not think she needs your skirt .

Mind YOUR business and do not reply to me.

I was gone untill her.

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Sorry sweets - public board and all. I'll reply as I like.

Calibaygirl said:

I'm sure this forum would think very differently of me had they read it.

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Don't count on it. I'm not fond of either of you, so it likely wouldn't make a hell of a lot of difference to my opinion.

"Are you on Flame Wars? I cannot remember."

Is that like Star WArs? Shall I bring my light-saber?

As to timing, I would wait a few years after college, to save up fees, maybe buy a little place to live first. Get your career established. That way, you will have health insurance, accumulated leave, a good start on a 401K, life insurance and disability insurance,etc. I had 12 years in with my company, and they were very understanding and accomidating. Having your employer's backing really helps.

As a future accountant, don't forget the adoption tax credit.

Please feel free to write with any questions. I realize these are for "someday", and that these programs are in constant flux, but I never know who else you may end up talking to who might consider adoption. Frankly, I do NOT understand why woman spend tens of thousands on often unsuccessful IVF, for example, and only end up heartbroken when it fails. Instead they can become a family with an already born kid and be very happy. My daughter is a joy- she is so full of life and get's such a kick out of everyday things because she literally had NOTHING that was hers alone until after age 2. She gets such a thrill about little things. She's a real bundle of drive and enthusiasm. There's so many kids just like her. My genes are no better than anyone elses- why must my child have my genes to be loved and cherished? She is our daughter- she even has my husband's silly sense of humor. There are MORE than enough kids ALREADY in the world that need love and families, Why make more when I can have one of them become family with us?

Next wife...Flame Wars is that site the LMSP and I think MoGal started.

Anyways.
I have plans to purchase my home this fall. I have been renting for two years, and I am sick of paying for something that quite frankly, will never be mine.
I have found a lovely three plus bedroom home with two bathrooms and a double attactched garage. It has a lovely back yard, that I will soon build a three foot fence around. I have a wonderful little dog. My children both want another little baby in the house. Ever since my best friend had her's a little while ago, my children have been going nuts!

I believe it was after I watched the 20/20 on Angelina Jolie that made me really start to take it seriously. She had adopted a wonderful little boy from Aisia.
I want to love a little child who has been abaondoned. I think it is great for what a lot of people do for children with out homes.

I think what you have done is great too, Nextwife.
Once again, I thank you for all of your helpful information.

Good luck. Buying a home is one of the best things most people do for themselves (as long as they keep it affordable). Real estate is unlike any other investment- the appreciation is yours regardless of whether you actually invested 5% or 50%.

WE consider ourselves the lucky ones. We are very blessed and fortunate to have her here.

Funny the perspectives one has about things. I'm glad the Angelina Jolie adoption was inspirational for you. I remember my friends in the Asian adoption community who had been in limbo (Cambodia, right?) with their adoptions being SO ticked off that she "moved to the front of the line" so to speak. THey felt she took advantage of her celebrity to get a referral way before people who had already been in the process.

Best wishes.

Next wife-
Yes, I agree, she did abuse her "star power" so to speak.
A lot of celebrities have been doing so.
Yes, it is a great idea to purchase a home. It is a great deal, and a great home. I have to wait, the owners do not want to move out until October 1, 2003, and closing is on September 30. It will be in the midst of my two jobs and school. So I hope I can get it done all right away. I probably will not actually move in until October 3 or 4th, that is a weekend, and my kids will be with their father.

I do again, thank you for all of your assistance.

God's Blessings!