Is this considered abuse?

What is the name of your state? i live in ca.
could someone tell me if it is considered abuse to show a 13 yr old pornography? i know of someone who has and am trying to first figure out the law before taking action. thank you

I suppose it depends on the type of pornography and the circumstances. Some fathers give their sons a Playboy magazine or a Penthouse magazine or a porn flick instead the 'talk'. A lot of people see nothing wrong with this.

So, like I said, it would depend on more than the words 'pornography' and '13 year-old'.

EC

i was told the pornography was a soft-core porn movie. the 13 yr old is a female. she said it consisted of group sex and threesomes. her mother decided to show her the movie after the child had come to her with questions about sex. the mom thought this was the best way to answer them. i myself find this to be an extremely bad decision on the mother's behalf. i believe this is teaching the child the wrong aspects of sex and am comeplety disgusted with that.

Well, I guess that taught the daughter about sex and to not ever ask mom a question about life!
Take comfort in that the child had probably already seen some of this stuff, especially if her parents or her friends' parents own televisions and cable or satellite!

While it may have been a poor decision, it's not abuse.

So when the daughter grows up and has a husband and 2 boyfriends and 6 kids all with different fathers............

But not abuse, either, HG.

HomeGuru So when the daughter grows up and has a husband and 2 boyfriends and 6 kids all with different fathers............

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From some of the stuff I've read on here and from some of the stuff I've seen while working with children in this community, quite a few people will consider it normal behavior. ugh

mind your own business

a 13 year old talking their parents is natural, and just because her mom came up with a way to expalin it that you dont approve of isnt wrong. its not like she hired a jigalo or said "you can watch me and daddy tonight" . if people would pay as much attention to their own kids as much as they pay attention to other peoples kids they would be better parents!!

Re: mind your own business

mykidare#1nmyis said:

its not like she hired a jigalo or said "you can watch me and daddy tonight" .

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I'm sorry but that's just too funny.

It is a VERY poor choice.

aren't we snippety?

This reply is to mykidare#1nmyis. I seem to have struck a chord with you. You have become a bit hostile. This child I am referring to is my stepdaughter. I am doing everything I can to make sure she has the best life possible. The life she has with her father and I is a stable and a loving one. The life she has with her mother and her mom's boyfriend is not stable at all. I am very proud of the way I take care and love her. I agree that it is natural and healthy for kids to be able to talk with their parents about sex. I want them to get the infomation from us rather than from a friend or something else. I know my husband and I both would have appreciated it if the mother would have called and asked first before showing her that kind of smut. Before this happened we all would communicate with each other if it concerned the children. The mom knows she did wrong and that is why she did not tell us what she did. My stepdaughter told us about it. Anyway we are all working together to get this issue figured out. I was only curious as to if this was abuse. Thank you to everyone for the information. As for you mykidare#1nmyis, I think maybe you need to think that even if she wasn't my stepdaughter, that at least I was trying to protect her from harm!

cncrnd_stpmom
The physical mechanisms of sexual intercourse are not the whole issue when you are talking about sex education. There's plenty of room for your husband and you to talk to her about safe sex, abstinence, moral behavior, consequences of unsafe sex, and immoral behavior.


jigalo is spelled gigolo; and just in case he's 'high dollar', "with her father and I" should be "with her father and me".

Sorry, I couldn't help myself...
EC

Sure says a lot about the lack values and morals of the parent. No wonder kids are so screwed up these days.

Even when the parent excersizes good judgement, kids have the media in their faces constantly.

to step mom

i can appreciate your concern for a step-daughter (i prefer the term bonus daughter) but that sounds like a break down in communication between her biological parent or maybe they just have different ways of parenting. my ex and myself have very different views on parenting but we still communicate with each other for our child sake. i personally wouldn't have liked it if/when my ex decides she wants to have the "talk" with our son but if she does and she does in a manner i disagree with i will have a 2nd talk with him on how i see it and how his mother and i are both right just different. unless she does something HARMFUL to him like pay for a hooker or something along those lines it will be a matter for us not the courts or public forums. and yes it did strike a cord in me when i see other people putting there nose where it did not belong. you did no specify that it was your bonus daughter so my apology on that issue but i still think it is something for all of the adults involved to talk about not people like me who did not in my earlier post or may not even now have all the facts. as long as you all have here best interest at heart and can keep your eye on that goal then things will get worked out.

by the way thanks for correcting my grammatical errors LOL