Cybersex in Illinois-Grounds for Divorce?

Hubby is having online affairs & cybersex. Have hardcopy evidence. Can i get a divorce on the grounds of adultery? HELP!

X

[This message has been edited by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE (edited October 13, 2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by solitaire59:

Hubby is having online affairs & cybersex. Have hardcopy evidence. Can i get a divorce on the grounds of adultery? HELP!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm not sure what the legal aspects of cybersex would be. I would think that would fall under irreconsilable differences though! I am however disturbed by the other reply to your question. I think you will find a large majority of us women feel as if cybersex/internet porn is "cheating" & joining in is fine for some. But unfortunately even if you joined in occasionally, he'd probably be doing alone also. And, I'm quite sure we all know that when are men are "whacking off" to other women, we are FAR from their minds. In my opinion this creates HUGE distances in marriages, love & closeness in a relationship. I'm quite sure in the next several years we will see vast numbers of marriages & relationships destroyed by this, probably more than anyone can imagine because it is still largely "in the closet" and too embarrassing to talk about with others. But, I guarantee you that most women feel the same way as you about it and it will only get worse in the future. It is selfish, disrespectful and causes distance in most relationships. When will these men get it? I'm with you girl & there are millions more of us out there too!

X

[This message has been edited by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE (edited October 13, 2000).]

Yes, I have fantasized about others & it could possibly enhance by relationship & sex life WITH MY HUSBAND. That's my point if it's done WITH MY HUSBAND! Cybersex and porn is usually done ALONE. What kind of togetherness and bond does that maintain? You'd be surprised and many women would also be surprised if they have wondered why their husbands are not interested in sex with them. A lot of times it is due to their men expending all their sexual energy independently & without sharing with their spouses. I know there are a lot of instances where a wife or husband withholds their sexual energy from their spouse for "control" type reasons. But for some of us this is not true. I personally was ready, willing and able each & every time my husband came to me & even told him to wake me up in the middle of the night if he needed me. It made me feel NEEDED & LOVED.. I never would have turned him down, unless truly sick. It hurt me deeply that he needed this extra-curricular activity, in fact chose it many times instead of the REAL thing. It feels like CHEATING to a lot of us women, believe it or not & sometimes it is so painful that it affects every other aspect of the marriage. If a person knows it is that painful to their spouse & means that much to them & they are willing to do anything for their spouse in exchange for giving that up & if that spouse does not love & respect his partner enough to do that, then maybe the marriage is not really a partnership after all?

I agree with all you women that think it is ok for your man to have an on-line affair. It is damaging to a relationship. We have two computers in our home, I have mine and My husband has his. I do not contacyt anyone from the opposite sex that my husband doesn't know about. We have a great sex life but if he was chatting with another women and I found out about it and he kept doing it knowing that I didnt appreciate it, you would better believe I would leave him.. If your spouse is not enough for you then it's not worth it.

Ladies I am living proof of what you have been talking about. I fell in love with a man on the internet. Granted there are problems with the relationship between my husband and myself long before the internet. But now I have given up on him. My love for the internet man has taken over any feelings that were left for my husband. Real love can be found on the internet IAAL, eveyone does not have youre perspective of internet relationships.