Abuse?

What is the name of your state? Michigan

Is it considered abuse if your husband doesn't hit you? We have been arguing for a very long time and it is jut getting worse with each one. It has gotten to the point that if I don't give him sex when he wants it and what kind he yells at me and tells me to get out and that he will take my kids away from me so that I will never see them again. I know I have a choice whether or not I have sex with anyone but he makes it so I am scared to say no. I am scared of what he will do if I leave. As an example yesterday while we were fighting he picked up our coffee table (large one) and threw it back down and 2 of the children were present and got very scared. I don't know what to do or even what I can do about this. Any advice will be appreciated.

There is "emotional" and "verbal" abuse -- not just physical abuse. More importantly emotional and verbal abuse very frequently escalate into physical violence.

I now have a huge hole in my living room wall. I also have doors that have holes in them. I am afraid of what he will do when he finds out I plan to leave. Can he just up and take the kids without my being able to do anything about it? He said he wouldn't let me have them even if the court gave me custody.

Because of the possible threat of violence you may want to start gathering information on women/children's shelters in your area -- they can give you safe haven and put you in touch with attornies that can help you with your divorce/custody case. Are there any witnesses (besides yourself and the children) to his violent/angry actions? The fact that he has such an anger problem (ie holes in walls, etc) needs to be evaluated to judge the possibility of danger posed to the chidren so that the court can decide accordingly as far as his parenting time and any restrictions that need to be in place for the children's safety.......

missmom3 said:

I now have a huge hole in my living room wall. I also have doors that have holes in them. I am afraid of what he will do when he finds out I plan to leave. Can he just up and take the kids without my being able to do anything about it? He said he wouldn't let me have them even if the court gave me custody.

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I don't want to sound harsh...but one day you may have holes in your body if this keeps up. You are afraid to leave because your afraid of what he would do. Yet, your staying and taking his abuse...not to mention the trauma the children must be going through. If he gets violent again.....call the police.

Discuss this with someone at a domestic violence clinic.

You didn't say where you live in MI

This is long, but hopefully you can find somewhere to go with this list:

Michigan Domestic Violence Shelters:



Michigan Coalition Against Domestic Violence P.O. Box 16009 Lansing MI 48901 (517)484-2924


Call Some Concerned, Inc. 227 North Winter St., Suite 215 Adrian MI 49221 Business #: 517-263-6739 Hotline/Crisis: 517-263-6737


Catherine Cobb Safe House and Domestic Violence Program 213 Toledo St. Adrian MI 49221 Business #: 517-264-5733 Hotline/Crisis: 517-265-6776


Shelter, Inc. P.O. Box 797 Alpena MI 49707 Business #: 517-356-6265 Hotline/Crisis: 517-356-9650


Domestic Violence Project, Inc. P.O. Box 7052 Ann Arbor MI 48107 Business #: 313-973-0242 Hotline/Crisis: 313-995-5444


Battle Creek Area Organization Safe Place Against Domestic Violence Box 199 Battle Creek MI 49016 Business #: 616-965-6093 Hotline/Crisis: 616-965-7233


Bay County Women's Center P.O. Box 1458 Bay City MI 48706 Business #: 517-686-4551 Hotline/Crisis: 517-686-4551 Toll Free #: (800)834-2098


Safe Shelter, Inc. 275 Pipestone Benton Harbor MI 49022 Business #: 616-925-2280 Hotline/Crisis: 616-983-4275 Toll Free #: (800)310-5454


Women's Information Service Inc. P.O. Box 1074 Big Rapids MI 49307 Business #: 616-796-6692 Hotline/Crisis: 616-796-6600 Toll Free #: (800)374-WISE


Cadillac Area O.A.S.I.S. P.O. Box 955 Cadillac MI 49601 Business #: 616-775-7299 Hotline/Crisis: 616-775-7233


Barbara Kettle Gundlach Shelter Home for A.W. P.O. Box 8 Calumet MI 49913 Business #: 906-337-5632 Hotline/Crisis: 906-337-5623


Thumb Area Assault Crisis Center 429 Montague Avenue Caro MI 48723 Business #: 517-673-4121 Toll Free #: (800)292-3666


Branch County Coalition Against Domestic Violence P.O. Box 72 Coldwater MI 49036 Business #: 517-278-7432


Women's Justice Center/My Sister's Place Box 13500 Detroit MI 48213 Business #: 313-921-3902 Hotline/Crisis: 313-921-3900


YWCA Interim House P.O. Box 21904 Detroit MI 48221 Business #: 313-961-9220 Hotline/Crisis: 313-861-5300


Delta County Alliance Against Violence & Abuse, Inc. 1401 North 26th Street Escanaba MI 49829 Business #: 906-789-9207 Hotline/Crisis: 906-786-9387


YWCA of Greater Flint Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault Service 310 E. Third St. Flint MI 48502 Business #: 810-238-7621 Hotline/Crisis: 810-238-7233


YWCA Domestic Crisis Center 25 Sheldon Blvd., S.E. Grand Rapids MI 49503 Business #: 616-459-4652 Hotline/Crisis: 616-774-3535


River House Shelter P.O. Box 661 Grayling MI 49738 Business #: 517-348-3169 Hotline/Crisis: 517-348-8972


Domestic Harmony P.O. Box 231 Hillsdale MI 49242 Business #: 517-439-1454 Hotline/Crisis: 517-439-1454


304 Garden Avenue Holland MI 49424 Business #: 616-392-2829 Toll Free #: (800)851-4054


Livingston Area Council Against Spouse Abuse P.O. Box 72 Howell MI 48844 Business #: 517-548-1350 Hotline/Crisis: 313-227-7100


Eight Cap Inc. Ionia/Monhalm Domestic Violence Pro. P.O. Box 93 Ionia MI 48846 Business #: 616-527-3351 Hotline/Crisis: 616-527-5252


The Caring House, Inc. 508 Stanton Street Iron Mountain MI 49801 Business #: 906-774-1337 Hotline/Crisis: 906-774-1112


Domestic Violence Escape(DOVE), Inc. P.O. Box 366 Ironwood MI 49938 Business #: 906-932-4990 Hotline/Crisis: 906-932-0310


AWARE, Inc. P.O. Box 1526 Jackson MI 49204 Business #: 517-783-2861


YWCA Domestic Assault Program 353 East Michigan Kalamazoo MI 49007 Business #: 616-385-2869 Hotline/Crisis: 616-385-3587


Baraga County Shelter Home/Women's Center 11 S. 4th St. L'Anse MI 49946 Business #: 906-524-5017 Hotline/Crisis: 906-524-7078


Council Against Domestic Assault P.O. Box 14149 Lansing MI 48901 Business #: 517-372-5976 Hotline/Crisis: 517-372-5572


Domestic Violence Prevention & Treatment Board Michigan Dept. of Social Service 235 S. Grand Avenue, Suite 513 Lansing MI 48909


Michigan Coalition Against Domestic Violence P.O. Box 16009 Lansing MI 48901 Business #: 517-484-2924


Van Cas Community Action Program 488 South Paw Paw Street P.O. Box 187 Lawrence MI 49064 Business #: 616-674-3905 Hotline/Crisis: 616-968-3905


Region Four Community Services 210 N. Harrison St. Ludington MI 49431 Business #: 616-843-2539 Hotline/Crisis: 616-845-5808 Toll Free #: (800)950-5808


CHOICES of Manistee County, Inc. P.O. Box 604 Manistee MI 49660 Business #: 616-723-6597 Hotline/Crisis: 616-723-6004


Women's Center/Harbor House 1310 South Front Street Marquette MI 49855 Business #: 906-225-1346 Hotline/Crisis: 906-226-6611 Toll Free #: (800)455-6611


Council on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault P.O. Box 2289 Midland MI 48641 Business #: 517-835-6771 Hotline/Crisis: 517-835-6771


Family Counseling and Shelter Services 502 W. ELm Avenue, Site 6 - East Monroe MI 48161 Business #: 313-241-2380


The Turning Point, Inc. P.O. Box 1123 Mount Clemens MI 48046 Business #: 810-463-6990 Hotline/Crisis: 810-463-6990


Women's Aid Service, Inc. P.O. Box 743 Mt. Pleasant MI 48804 Business #: 517-773-0078 Hotline/Crisis: 517-772-9168


Catholic Social Services 1095 Third Street Muskegon MI 49441 Business #: 616-726-4735


Child and Family Services 1352 Terrace Street Muskegon MI 49442 Business #: 616-726-3582


Circuit Court Family Counseling Services 440 S. Quarterline Muskegon MI 49442 Business #: 616-773-1782


Every Women's Place, Inc. 425 W. Western Avenue, Suite 204 Muskegon MI 49440 Business #: 616-726-4493 Hotline/Crisis: 616-722-3333


Muskegon County Community Mental Health 125 E. Southern St. Muskegon MI 49442 Business #: 616-726-5266 Hotline/Crisis: 616-722-4357


Women's Resource Center of Northern MI.,Inc. 423 Porter Petoskey MI 49770 Business #: 616-347-0067 Hotline/Crisis: 616-347-0082 Toll Free #: (800)275-1995


Haven-Help Against Violent Encounters Now! Box 787 Pontiac MI 48343 Business #: 810-334-1284 Hotline/Crisis: 810-334-1274


Domestic Violence Shelter P.O. Box 61096 Port Huron MI 48061 Business #: 810-985-4950 Hotline/Crisis: 810-985-5538


Underground Railroad, Inc. P.O. Box 565 Saginaw MI 48606 Business #: 517-755-0411 Hotline/Crisis: 517-755-0411


Eastern Upper Peninsula Domestic Violence Pro. P.O. Box 636 Sault Ste. Marie MI 49783 Business #: 906-635-0566 Hotline/Crisis: 906-635-0566 Toll Free #: (800)882-1515


Relief After Violent Encounter P.O. Box 472 St. Johns Mi 48879 Business #: 517-224-4662 Hotline/Crisis: 517-224-7283


Safe Shelter 2214 S. State St. St. Joseph MI 49085 Business #: 616-983-6023 Hotline/Crisis: 616-983-4275


St. Joseph County Domestic Assault Shelter Coalition P.O. Box 402 Three Rivers MI 49093 Business #: 616-279-5122 Toll Free #: (800)828-2030


Women's Resource Center, Traverse City 720 S. Elmwood Suite 2 Traverse City MI 49684 Business #: 616-941-1210 Hotline/Crisis: 616-941-1210


First Step 8381 Farmington Road Westland MI 48185 Business #: 313-525-2230 Hotline/Crisis: 313-459-5900